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| Question #1238324464 | Sunday, 29-Mar-2009 |
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| This was a comment before. But its about my uncertainity with Socionics and all typing systems, because of my uncertainity with my type. Please read, it would be so helpful to have new perspective. Its very long, but there is alot to it that you might have thought of, but never gotten far in trying to fully understand. [[[[[[[[Well, I'm an INT-something, or something something rather; who knows what? You sound like your preference as being an INTJ is clean-enough cut. Good for you. I'm going to be 17 soon and from when I was 14-15, I wasted my life contemplating socionics. Socionics is an interesting structure to such a grabbing concept. Most of the people who are on here for so long must be strong INTJs, maybe I am too, I'm just deficient and don't understand and comprehend things well enough, so I have to adopt the seeking behaviors of other types. I used to be really shy, wouldn't talk to anyone, but I love attention and I love people, I love it when people like me. But I'm in-my-own-head and shy all the same, I'm a freakin' mess. I scored INTP almost everytime I took the socionics test, but I fit the notion of dominant Ti better than Ni I think, though I get confused and am never sure. I'm super serious and intense; at my best I can appear very casual but still extremely intense, and have learned to be Chameleon-like in many different settings. I can never commit to anything. I also don't get good grades, and can talk intelligently and understand alot of things(though math is tricky unless it has to do with Classical Music) to an extent that I could be most genuinely thoughtful sounding speaker in a good sized collection of people. But I'm lazy and useless, in some ways I feel incredibly stupid. But, but but, but, I feel like I have a characteristic perspective to me that is very rare, and gives me the potential for a lot of ego and a lot of humility all the same, but coexisting and conflicting. Tangents. Well, my goal was to offer you some perspective, usually I have some pretty unusual perspectives. Socionics, I don't get it, I more about it than most people who claim to get it know, but, I don't have a type to confidently call my own. So, either I discredit it, or stubbornly hope it will work.]]]]]]]] What do you guys think? Do I just have ambiguous preferences, am I a confused member of a distinct type, or is Socionics just not that deeply applicable and somewhat faulty and not very scientific? Thats my current story with Socionics as best as I will be able to describe it right now. Don't call me any type please unless you are totally convinced and think you can sort of ADD to my knowledge, and NOT indescriminately OVERIDE it. In someways, Ne seems to be me because I like really wierd things and I indulgently dig into any concept I come across(I think refinement between intuition types is concept of faulty logic, its all the same..prove me wrong?). I'm also very charismatic when in a good mood, but I often feel like I have a puny presence. I don't think I'm "right brained" enough to be an ENTP. INTP, they seem too rigid and strategic at the expense of deep understanding. ENTJs are too tough and regular. INFJs, too naturally tranquil. INFPs, I can't manipulate my emotions very quickly. ENFPs, I'm too slow witted, even though I love social things, plus I'm too deep. ENFJs, too good socially and too energetic. INTJs, too linnear, but maybe that how I was born and I grew around it. ISTJs, too practicle. ISTPs too cool and cold. ISFJs, god, sometimes I feel dangerously close to being one, they describe them so much as what I aspire not to be but might actually be deep down; they are so lamely described, I have a strong mind! ISFPs, maybe when I have some twisted perspective, I'll believe it, same for all other unmentioned sensates. Please Help People, try my thinking on, if you think you have the type for me nailed, go for it. If you can't decide, start thinking about what I could actually be in a more flexible sense. I don't know what I mean really, just use your intuition to give me a wholesome, truly wholesome answer if you can. -- Grant |
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| A29 I might already have a few responses from my last post by the time this gets up, but I wanted to say something that perhaps doesn't need to be said so directly, but I want to bring attention to: thank you very much shez, for some reason both of us, though different, seem to be able to relate to each other very well when it comes to the typing systems. I wanted you to know that I recognize just as much as you that we have similar "escapes" when it comes to typing systems, possibly due to the level and similarity of mental illness we have both experienced(though you are once again, possibly quite a bit older than me). On top of feeling "empty" like you've expressed, I also can feel constricted and thoroughly limited as well, I often have too many sensations in my body that come with anxiety that I am doing something wrong to just allow myself to be, or used to, untill I suffocated my emotional core to the point where I woudn't care as much anymore. These used to be really severe, I couldn't speak without feeling like I was going to choke untill I was sure that someone wasn't going to assume I was stupid, or wasn't going to indicate to me verbally or nonverbally or passively, in ANY way. Additionally, I couldn't do any of my school work, not because I was lazy, but because I was so impossibly picky and unsure about things not making sense and things being unnecessary, I even knew that this was inneffective and would express to people who told me "it doesn't have to be perfect", that I didn't care, I was just going to anyways, it was how my mind worked and they would have to deal with it. I never learned any discipline because I was so sure of myself in this regard, it wasn't even arrogance, my conscience would attack me if I did things wrong, so I was always inhibitted. This is possibly why I look like a perciever, but am quite possibly a J, unless this is something you would associate with introverted intuition and a Ti hidden agenda, though I'm not sure. I was perfectly quiet and modest about my problems regarding these things as well, I wouldn't make a fit or anything, I would just hide under the radar so people couldn't criticize me and assume I was lazy or stupid, I even forsaw the cycle in many many ways and instances and still fell victim to it. As a kid, I would make a ton of noise, I would have a fit if I didn't understand how to do something and might cry infront of the teacher, begging for mercy that she didn't think I was stupid. Its like I have a strong imprint in my limbic system based on the torment of running into these psycological traps and it causes me to stand outside myself, and never actually be emotionally involved with myself publicly, though I worked over time to gain the introspective abilities to be able to reverse the process, so I could express myself but this only works to an extent, as I'm wasting alot of time and energy making sure my feelings are okay with people, though a friend of mine is helping to assure me that I don't have to care so much. People used to make fun of me for being a nerd as a child, past a certain point, it got to me, I couldn't stand being thought of as a nerd for a while, someone that people would make fun of for lacking common sense and having only booksmarts and not streetsmarts. So I acted really serious, I was naturally pretty athletic, a fast runner and moderately coordinated with gross motor skills, though my hand eye coordination was limited to when I really stopped thinking; the crowd I wanted to hang out with was athletic, I lost a few friends by becoming emersed in this world, and the thing is, quite a few of them actually took me seriously because I was so competetive and simply good at persisting to win at any game, though many would talk down to me as they thought I was too sensitive, and just not cool; they'd try to psyche me out; in turn, I'd gain sympathy from the kids who saw my competetive ability and didn't think it was fair that I was treated the way I was. When I think of ESTp's, I think of the bullies that I was constantly at war with; when I think of INTj's, I think of the intellectuals that never had a desire to fit in socially or compete in sports to begin with and also I often feel the need to prove myself to them, when I think of INFp's, I think of kids who will readily be exploited by these bullies or seem like they are friends but actually side with the enemy; ENFp's, fun and encouraging best friends, or if female, maybe someone I might argue with and despise from a distance untill I get to know her; ESFp's, perhaps socialites who seem to have a problem with everything I do; ESTj's, perhaps they are the ones that are frequently accused of trying to be too perfect(I'm intrigued by the hidden agenda, "to be perfect", it seems to describe me in some ways; ENTj's, perhaps the somewhat intimidating overachiever; ENTp's, egotististical nerd that oversteps personal boundaries and thinks they are clever playing psycological games, but are also easy to feel sympathy for; ISFj's, nice, but think I'm a jerk, especially if female; ISTj=okay but can be such a tool, it gets intolerable! ISTp's might've been the kid I initially thought was mean and rude, or just antisocial and ridiculous, but turns out to be an incredible friend, ISFP's, I don't know, the kid who is so friendly you feel bad for him; ENFj's, superficial overachievers that seem like unconstrained versions of myself; ESFj's, I don't know, people who are so nice they get to be a bit dorky; INFj's, cute little artist girls(stereotypically); INTp's, maybe space heads, though this could be ENTp's; if so, who is the annoyingly agressive nerd, an insecure INTj or an INTp? Anyways, there is a figure in my life, perhaps a quiet person who I initially might've dismissed as socially oblivious, only to discover that they are keenly aware and endlessly patient. I'm sorry if this looks really stupid, really rough, I'm just trying to communicate one set of thoughts I have on this. I have multiple "sets" and this is the one I consider most trustworthy for the moment, the one that I believe truest to my first impressions. If so, is ESTj a possible type for myself? I don't anyone at all like myself, though I would occasionally run into someone of the opposite sex that was like myself, a perfectionist, a thinker, an intellectual, an athlete; very well rounded and sensitive but somewhat limited. Well, I don't know where I went with this, but I hope this is helpful information, this is what I believe to be my gut impressions of the different types, and what my most basic thought processes are, something that I have only been able to move past in theory, but there is always something that I am not sure about. -- Grant |
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