| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1262165796 | Wednesday, 30-Dec-2009 |
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| i am an enfj and have been in love with an istp girl since high school. i told her in emotional poems, and notes and she didn't respond. i thought that meant she would be interested. anyway the responses were off and on. if i sent a very brief note she would respond randomly once in a while apologizing for being busy always. risk taking and writing about. anyway when i asked her about life decisions and moving to be closer to her she went off and said i wasn't making sense, making plans with her in the future, she's happily dating someone. it was confusing she did not tell me this after the love poems and emails. anyway i said dating doesn't mean much and wanted to know if she had feelings for me. she never replied. then after some series lengthy emails, apology and continued brief emails with no response. i decided to say by and said sorry for the bother i won'te bug u and good luck with life on your terms. then she all of sudden said she appreciated i wrote and thought about her and would be back home in the summer and would like to share a meal or something. anyway. as summer approach i wrote her saying how summer was beautiful now she was back, etc. also after reading about benjamin franklin's use of pen names i decided to support her by making up pen names to send to her office email as she is a reporter expressing how i liked her articles and what they meant to me. All summer passed to august and i sent her flowers using a pen name cheny and politcal names. I thought she would know it was me. but she didn't so i sent another email in which i left a clue it was me. she emailed out of the blue that day and said she was busy and only ate and worked as she just started her journalism career. then she asked if wrote to her? i like to selfless so i lied and said i didn't and she must have a lot of fans. i said i thought of her all summer and felt like she was here with. then all of sudden she said she couldn't meet , sorry about that and that she would rather not keep in touch as it made her uncomfortable that i thought about her so much-it doesn't make sense. thanks for respecting my feelings... this really hurt as she knew i was in lvoe with her and she had encouraged me to write. i apologized and said i am not a weirdo. I kept explaining and saying it's cool to not meet but don't make me a weirdo. then i said fine we won't keep in touch. but then i went off and kept emailing detailed long emotional emaisl ranging from i accept this as u are doing this for me...or u are uncomfortable due to your feelings...accusing her of hurting me etc...it's too long to keep on. then one day when i sent her 3 short emails she filed a police report. the police called and i explained my notes and as i never did anything but write her notes to explaina and get an answer they closed saying 'misunderstandng and lack of communication. the cop said she didn't like the use of fake names and was not interested. i don't get if she;s my friend my she didn't tell me this directrly. i had even begged her to say by on the phone rather than email and reassure me she's still my friend and she never did. all this hurt. then i diagnosed with her constant travel, lack of feelings in her writng, and odd behavior she was an istp and felt there were no hard feelings. i wrote to her twice after the police report and she didn't respond but did not do any more bad legal actions. this was clearly a scare tactic as i am a mild nice person. i am not a risk taker. she just broke the law and went to cuba and wrote about it. she does risky istp adventure things. anyway...last i left it i asked her not to hurt me in email and told her i don't want a relationship. i don't know what love is. sorry for wasting ryour tiime etc.. then i emailed again saying sorry don't hurt me...i am attracted to you and will wait for you as something tells me your worth it but i own't ever contact u again. so...anyway...i know going off emotionally in emails was bad but ... am i crazy to wait for her..i love her and feel we're soul mates...will she ever come back? please advise. confused but loyal enfj.... -- Anonymous |
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| A23 to a16...look i am not nuts. it hurts. i don't know if she had feelings. right...she knew where i stood. did not respond for long time and then said appreciated what i did and would visit. so i did extra. she said suddenly uncomfort and dropped off. then i kept writing for epxlanation of clear ending...asked if your not my friend say so..etc. then i said u don't mena it and wrote an article dedicated to her and she filed report...then i wrote more for 4 months apologizing...asked about a dicaprio movie which had significance from childhood which got her emotional somehow and she filed again..so look i don't like being treated this way. i want to understand be away jut wanted re-affirmation of friendship if she's not interested. she won't give it. yet after second police call i emailed more and she did not file again so she does not want to hurt me she keeps reading and is not spamming me but she won't help or can't help and is uncomfortable or something.. so i was always clear if she was ont interested that was fine...but i wanted to know clerly and not guess and infer it. why give up a childgood dream and personal truth over text...and it is not right to file reports to scare than say so idrecutly...why won't she end it. i'll admit maybe said nothing bad to me...i mean i wrote to her for years and she was fine...no response but fine... her last message directly was uncomfort. thanks for respecting my feeling would rather not be in touch. she know i am not nuts or bad or she would have filed a long time ago. looks like she needs space and that's fine. i just don't like being treated like this and affirmation of the friendhsip would have made all this easier so i could agree to be out of touch for friendship. even if she doens't care and will be with someone else i don't care/.....the main point is i care and will not stop caring. not much to talk about...but i feel running off and avoiding is not healthy for me or her... that's all but she has to learn that for herself it would appear. last i left i said i have loved u my whole life without being all confused and like this. your note hurt and your not responding hurts. i can't leave u as it goes against me beliefs to leave a friend it is a western construct. all i can do is be out of touch as u are uncomfortbale and i am doing my best but need to write it out and will mess up and this takes time. sorry i know u don't mean anything and the fact u can't tell me the truth directly and yet read my ntoes means u care so thanks and i;ll be out of touch as u need me to be. that's where i leave...but i feel i should have stood up to her and said it's not fair and it hurts what u did. insetad i took all the blame and said i am confused and wokring on this i get ur not comforatble...thanks for calling the police to help me out...and have them tell me you just went to school with me and are not my friend. that's what the cop said. right... too bad...a shame it had to be done this way... the problem is she doesn't respond and if i send a posiutive note she gets all angry almost and files to ounish me or can't take it anymore... pretty weird...why does she feel so intensely for me...it's nuts... she lived aline in the woods for 7 months to point of craziness...and doens't need anyone...i guess...but i do...am i am sick of taking the blame, sacrificing, trying to understand, and then be accued of thinking too much and causing uncomfort.. as enfj that is the pits as u try so hard to cause comfort. i was always logical...if u are interested let me know else fine i live my life and wait in case u will come or i will live and die alone and happy as platonic friend.. that was clear...so all this weird stuff is anoying the heck out of me...i agreed to all this so why accuse me of uncomfort and thinking too much...it was all platonic at least until 1st police report then out of fear and other feelings i learned for first timne i was attracted to her.. part of the deal was i loved her and she was not attractive to me which i also had made clear early so i knew it was true love...now there is a confounding variable but it was after the fact ,,,so awhatevr... point is i would hgave been and reaosnable with clear communication and don't deserve this but can't call it out cause i don't want to upset her but the more obseqious i get i feel worse and she still doesn't respond... she only attacks if i pretend things are cool and write apositive little note...not one of my rambling lelnghty one with poems etc...so what does that mean? why is the behavior so weird? i mean she's not bad she's just mixed up and wants to be left alone and maybe this is not about me mesing up like i thought and i can rest easy knowing she just needs space. nothing personal...just wish she bothered to communicate somthing more than all this... whatevr ..plus she must feel bad as i did so many things for so many years for her ...but it was never to influence her ...it wsa to make her happy... for me that is akey [point. i want her to come if she wants to and not cause of anything i did. i did not mean to inflcuene they were spontaneous altruistic acts of affection. that's it... if she wants to be with me that's greta otherwise no big deal...but i don't appreciate non response after her last note and all this police report indirection and pain. it's like she's trying to in anger out of control or defile ...what i hold most dear...my selfless love...which does not require her to come at all or do anything.... a simple reaffirmatipon of friendhsip is too much now and i expect nothing... -- Anonymous |
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