| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
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Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1262165796 | Wednesday, 30-Dec-2009 |
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| i am an enfj and have been in love with an istp girl since high school. i told her in emotional poems, and notes and she didn't respond. i thought that meant she would be interested. anyway the responses were off and on. if i sent a very brief note she would respond randomly once in a while apologizing for being busy always. risk taking and writing about. anyway when i asked her about life decisions and moving to be closer to her she went off and said i wasn't making sense, making plans with her in the future, she's happily dating someone. it was confusing she did not tell me this after the love poems and emails. anyway i said dating doesn't mean much and wanted to know if she had feelings for me. she never replied. then after some series lengthy emails, apology and continued brief emails with no response. i decided to say by and said sorry for the bother i won'te bug u and good luck with life on your terms. then she all of sudden said she appreciated i wrote and thought about her and would be back home in the summer and would like to share a meal or something. anyway. as summer approach i wrote her saying how summer was beautiful now she was back, etc. also after reading about benjamin franklin's use of pen names i decided to support her by making up pen names to send to her office email as she is a reporter expressing how i liked her articles and what they meant to me. All summer passed to august and i sent her flowers using a pen name cheny and politcal names. I thought she would know it was me. but she didn't so i sent another email in which i left a clue it was me. she emailed out of the blue that day and said she was busy and only ate and worked as she just started her journalism career. then she asked if wrote to her? i like to selfless so i lied and said i didn't and she must have a lot of fans. i said i thought of her all summer and felt like she was here with. then all of sudden she said she couldn't meet , sorry about that and that she would rather not keep in touch as it made her uncomfortable that i thought about her so much-it doesn't make sense. thanks for respecting my feelings... this really hurt as she knew i was in lvoe with her and she had encouraged me to write. i apologized and said i am not a weirdo. I kept explaining and saying it's cool to not meet but don't make me a weirdo. then i said fine we won't keep in touch. but then i went off and kept emailing detailed long emotional emaisl ranging from i accept this as u are doing this for me...or u are uncomfortable due to your feelings...accusing her of hurting me etc...it's too long to keep on. then one day when i sent her 3 short emails she filed a police report. the police called and i explained my notes and as i never did anything but write her notes to explaina and get an answer they closed saying 'misunderstandng and lack of communication. the cop said she didn't like the use of fake names and was not interested. i don't get if she;s my friend my she didn't tell me this directrly. i had even begged her to say by on the phone rather than email and reassure me she's still my friend and she never did. all this hurt. then i diagnosed with her constant travel, lack of feelings in her writng, and odd behavior she was an istp and felt there were no hard feelings. i wrote to her twice after the police report and she didn't respond but did not do any more bad legal actions. this was clearly a scare tactic as i am a mild nice person. i am not a risk taker. she just broke the law and went to cuba and wrote about it. she does risky istp adventure things. anyway...last i left it i asked her not to hurt me in email and told her i don't want a relationship. i don't know what love is. sorry for wasting ryour tiime etc.. then i emailed again saying sorry don't hurt me...i am attracted to you and will wait for you as something tells me your worth it but i own't ever contact u again. so...anyway...i know going off emotionally in emails was bad but ... am i crazy to wait for her..i love her and feel we're soul mates...will she ever come back? please advise. confused but loyal enfj.... -- Anonymous |
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| A19 is she really done with me? or she doing the infamous istp rage and uunfair ness and is also stressed at work and my enfj of evoking long term feelings in her is messing her up? if she didn't care she would just ignore...why does she treeat me so badly...can't she what's she's doing... -- Anonymous |
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| A20 A15: Sincere looks in the eyes, indirect words and gentle tone of voice are our and ENFps' "domain". ENFjs rely more on explicit words. (See this specific ENFj: "I told her... I wrote her...") One ENFj man I know said he "got" his wife by telling her he loved her the very first day they met. She was speaking at a psychology seminar and ENFj liked her thoughts so much that he told her she was brilliant and he loved her, in front of all those people. She didn't believe at first but after several days the ENFj was even more sure what he said was true and the ISTj started to believe he was earnest. -- Ezis (ESFp) |
| A21 i have tried to leave this but with no communication i can't make it. i need her to help me throught and explain why the fake pen names set her off . i tried making up things on my own and leaving her alone but it hurts too much to be accused and given the silent treatment. her request to not be in touch seems like a biug cover up.. how do i ask her for help and explain how much she is hurting me. if she said she didn't like me that way it is no big deal but why is she treating me like a stranger all of a sudden and like she doesn't care ....she knows how much i loved her to write to her for years etc...and how much seeing her for a meal which she offered on her own meant to me...but it just hurts to be treated this way and then on top to be accused of harassment when i never did anything and respected her. everyt note was full of love and respect...it all doesn't make any sesne... it hurts and i can't leave without a conversation or talk... to know what she thinks i did... i mean non emotional talk is fine but i need to get her to help me.....how do i get istp to help...i had tried begging before to no avail...anyadvice on how to get help... at some point if i get upset enough i might call and demand or beg help in person...maybe she won't be able to refuse in person....email may not register with her enough and yet she reads my stuff and goes off when i wrote positive upbeat notes (wrote an article for you or any chance we can see dicaprio movie as friends...these and not emotional notes are what she filed against me for...again non sense.... -- Anonymous |
| A22 it's not fair. how i am being treated....i was always polite and kind and supportive and despite years of non response and then for her to flip out and leave without a chance to even talk after 3 years of all this seems not right...and then instead of helping to file a bogus report to scare me off...that is so bad... i have tried blaming myself and acting like it's all my fault but that is not right either....i am grateful she never said she's not my friend and left things open eneded but that's what caused problems with her silence for years but she did respond seomtimes to corretc me once or say i was not making sense which means other times i did make sense.. i don't know anymore...it is not fair to run off with no chance to discuss and then to attack someone for inciting you with emotional appeals etc...i mean she did not call or file when i was out of it or wrote oddball stuff only when i sounded calm and positive like i wrote an articled dedicated to u or want to see the movie as friends..the fact she blew up on these 2 notes also makes no sense. anyway...i am sick of being the nice person but that is who i am. i made it point to her i will not talk to her or come to see her no bad how much it is hurting to respect her feelings. but i did write to work through this and ask help and after months all this seemed stupid so i thought everything was fine and did positive like article or asking about movie...i did ask to meet earlier when she did not gone off and file. the dicaprio reference was special as she liked him in school and the first time she stopped responding after i told her i loved her and wanted to mnarry her...sending a dicaprio email somwhow got her to email and thank me for the notes. so i thoought it might make her ok again...but it seems like it got to her emotionally so she decieded to lash out at me again with another call to police....this is not fair... -- Anonymous |
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