| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
| | Join now! |
Who is who?Learn how to convert between different systems
V.I.An introduction into the widely used Socionics Visual Identification technique
TestsA collection of Socionics related tests and quizes
Q & AsAsk a Socionics related question or provide an answer to an existing one
ArticlesVarious articles on the subject of Socionics and Types in general
ForumsWant to discuss Type? Head to Socionics Forums!
|
| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1185435851 | Thursday, 26-Jul-2007 |
|
|
| According to the ISTP uncovered profile, it says that they may need to hurt those they love in order to understand that they love them becaue of the peculiar nature of their hidden agenda. INTPs also have the same "hidden agenda" function ([Fi]). I take this as "wanting to love/like people" but constantly being disappointed and then "hurting" them. Does this imply physical/verbal abuse? -- Anonymous |
|
| A45 i am an istp female. when i get really really hurt, like i think they showed too much interest in some other girl, i dont know how to talk about it with my boyfriends and i do hit them. generally it is only when i am really drunk and really angry at the same time. actually, everytime. it's funny you all say "the istp i know would never do that" because i would highly doubt that anyone knows i have done it, other than the people i did it to of course. but, it's not really that bad.. haha here we go! but it's not! i just resort to physical violence when i am really angry and they are pulling at me and trying to make me do something i dont want to do. like forcing me to walk outside, like pulling my arm, to leave with them. other than that.. hurting the loved one would be doing things i have had done to me which hurt me so i can see if it hurts them to see how they feel by how they reacted. i tend to just walk away and not come back if i am sober.. then the boy would realise and come after me and i would be all angry and after they got upset i would be happy again. all my ex boyfriends say i am perfect, happy, fun, funny, cute.. and then i turn into the devil. but its only ever for like a couple hours max. but also i notice after a few awesome days i tend to say "i think we should break up!" and they take it seriously and then i'll call them the next day and be all "HEY! what's up?" and friendly and then they forgive me and we date again. it is bad.. i have dated about 10 guys and they were all nice kids who really loved me a lot and i hurt every one of them. i have a boyfriend at the moment, enfp, and in the 3 months we have dated i have dumped him 20 odd times. now im regretting doing that.. but it just makes me want to dump him again. but, he is the most perfect guy ever. somehow i know he's head over heels.. but i still need to test him. -- Anonymous |
| A46 Wow, your enfp bf must have some really bad self esteem issues. I have this good friend who's an enfp and he would never put up with something like that even once! Let alone 30 times! He has this istp ex gf back home and she keeps sending him these weird emails like "I got engaged" every month (they've broken up 2 years ago) which he couldnt care less about and then a month later she'll send an email saying "Oh I was just kidding!" He used to hurt her a lot since he wanted to enjoy life to the max. Jeez, your poor boy needs help. -- infj |
| A47 See I just need someone that will minus my stress. Not add stress to my life. Thats why we need our duals, to home to from a stressful day at work. ENFp and ESFj types are very good at giving a LOT of reassurances naturally. They are also very very confident in themselves and thats why only they can handle 'competition' and such hurtful blows some very few ISTps seem to throw at them. ENFp and ESFj types actually do not mind putting in a lot of energy and effort to resolve any issues they might have with the ISTp. ISTps have a lot to give which includes a lot of good and some very bad (in some cases), and ENFps and ESFjs have very high social energy and very high expectations from themselves and from their partners, so only they can catalyze and help them take care of the ISTp's hidden agenda so their desires are fulfilled and they like to work a lot to earn all that love and to deal with the 'blows' ISTps throw their way and thus they are satisfied and mostly since ISTps seem to be good at appreciating (by showing a lot of affection) what the ENFps and ESFjs do for them whereas most other types seem to disappoint all three of these types and maybe the INTj although I'm not so sure about INTjs. For me, I'm more than satisfied with less if that means no severe pain or hurt and severe high-lows coming my way. I tried being with an ISTp once, woah the nightmare. I can't bear the thought of coming back to that every day after work. Talk about an unstable roller-coaster. I'm an ENXp, who has the intolerance and not so high social energy of an ENTp. ENFps are very accepting and adapting to other people's habits and needs. I am so not like that. My mom is an ENFp and she annoys me. I've always kinda wanted to be very different from her. -- Anonymous |
|
|
| A48 I'm an ISTP, and I gotta say, after reading these posts, I'm so ashamed! (well, maybe a little) I do the same hot/cold thing, but it's not like I do it on purpose. It's exciting to start a new relationship, and then buyer's remorse sets in. I never intend to do it, never with malice, I just can't know if this is "the one for" me until I try. Is there no hope for ISTPs? -- Anonymous |
A49 Ofcourse there is hope for ISTps... that is a RIDICULOUS thing to think that there isn't hope or love for any one type. Every type has good and bad things about them and EVERY single type is deeply lovable. Just go out there, trust your instincts and jump. The waters warm. I've seen plenty of very happily married and happy with life (usually smiling) old ISTps  . You'll find your yellow brick road somehow dont worry. -- Anonymous |
A50 The notion of losing something is more fearful to the human mind than the prospect of gaining something. Its just how the brain has evolved. Humans like the freedom of choice and some like it more than others and different people have different ideas of freedom, but when we think we might lose an option, that 'option' all of a sudden becomes very important to keep. People are not immobile things that don't change or grow and nor is your relationship with them the same as your relationship with objects. People unlike objects induce feelings and feelings of responsibility to make it work in a sense that you make an effort to talk through issues and work towards feeling genuinely happy in each other's company without feeling as though you have to change yourself. When you confuse selecting a spouse with choosing a thing to buy, you never find a spouse perfect enough. Humans have flaws and they are not made to be convenient to you or for Satisfaction Guaranteed or Your Money Back. Human is much more complex and is a much more vast being that has sooo so much to. Its about falling in love with the flaws and the very imperfections that make people human. There will always be someone better out there and someone worse out there as well. But like many philosophy books summarize what Socrates said - "The unexamined life is not worth living." Psychology expert Gerd Gigerenzer said a 'gut instinct' is the decision your brain makes which would mathematically require a giant equation and a couple months but is simplified in the brain to be merely something like 1/n (which is a close enough approximate) and takes a fraction of a second. It is a decision the brain makes which can be called reflexes that are usually fairly accurate and helpful. One of the many characteristics of gut instincts is that it ignores some data. Which is actually very important as it saves us a very very large amount of cognitive energy and decades of time. For example - when out to buy a pair of jeans, buying the first pair you think is good from like the third store you try will make you much happier than visiting all twenty stores that sells jeans and trying to find the best pair. You will probably leave with a slightly better pair and still won't feel satisfied or happy. Try it its true! You have to think about what you like and what you don't like about a person. If the dislikes exceeds the likes, you tell that to your 'dater' and if there is no way he or she will or can modify or discard disliked characteristics without changing who they are and when you know that there is a likelyhood of the thought dislikes being absent and the likes being present in another person is good, thats when you know that person is not for you and you can move on without looking back because you would know you made the right decision and feel confident. That is your back up plan. In a lecture of Gerd Gigerenzer I once went to he said one way to decide between 2 jobs or 2 potential spouses is to flip a coin, and when the coin is in the air, your heart will have already made a decision regardless of what the coin says.  -- Anonymous |
| A51 "My mom is an ENFp and she annoys me. I've always kinda wanted to be very different from her." Yeah I def take the whole thing back. -- A47 |
| A52 if istp hidden agenda is to love ...how come they do not come and help when someone is in confusion or emtoional distress? is telling them the truth about how horrible you feel and beg them for help good or does that turn them away even more? how does one heal communication breakdown without communication? is it better to be honest about not being able to get over istp or just to lie and say i am fine and happy... -- Anonymous |
| A53 what does an istp do if they can't get rid of person in love with them. they keep insisting on waiting for you despite going off on them... -- Anonymous |
| A54 I have realized one thing about types.... they all CAN be annoying, rude, immature, callous, selfish, etc. OR they can all be caring and thoughtful. It takes work to get there for any. To be successful, loving, and caring takes practice and work, for any type. If you are being hurt by ANY personality type, that is THEIR problem and not yours, and they need to figure out how to change. I am an ISTP female and I would never think of doing many things I have read here. Why? Because I love my SO and my friends, and I listen to how I can make improvements, and I make them. I am also great at managing myself and don't need a manager. I have always worked hard and made good grades in school. For any personality type, there are those who will be selfish and unsuccessful, and those who won't be. -- Anonymous |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
|
| Would you like to add anything? |
(When posting, we ask you to make the effort to qualify your opinions.)
|
|
