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| Question #1234382731 | Wednesday, 11-Feb-2009 |
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| As a teenage INTj, I'm having trouble conceptualizing my life, frankly put. Over the past few weeks I've spent a great deal of time thinking about who I am and the individual factors that comprise my life and their effect on my real future and my ideal future. Not long ago I took my first MBTI test and tested INTJ. I took the Socionics test and also tested INTj in all fields. After researching (for that's what we do, amirite?) what exactly these four letters meant for me, I was completely dumbfounded by these web pages I found that told me exactly how I've been thinking for the past 17 years. It seems to me that being an INTj is both a blessing and a curse in some ways. On one side, I've been gifted with a wonderful mind and the ability to turn conception into reality using the skills I'm sure many of you are familiar with. On the other there is what I've lovingly dubbed the "social disability package" that comes along with it. Suddenly after understanding what I was, a great many things that I do and have done in the past became meaningful to me. After realizing the unique traits of my type I finally had an explanation for my lack of connection with other people in a social situation. Long before I had taken any tests I had begun to make a psychological profile of myself, trying to figure out what made me different from the other 98%. I pondered what made me seize up when talking to people, or what caused my mind to draw blanks when expected to add something meaningful to a conversation. Due mostly in part to my current situation as a student, I put a lot of thought into furthering myself socially beyond the "couple of good friends" systems that many INTjs tend to have. It wasn't until I tested that I had an explanation (in part) for what I had been experiencing my entire life. Which brings me to the present. I now find myself entertaining the thought of circumventing my own personality's shortcomings. I want to be able to be LIKE an extrovert in terms of social skills, but still want to keep the unique properties that make me the introverted thinker I am today. I want to be able to create a relationship with someone rather than waiting for someone that fits my exact criteria or happens to be a compatible type. I've thought a lot about what makes me different from other people. Outwardly, I'm not so different. I'd like to be the 4.5GPA aspiring engineer that I'd always envisioned myself as becoming, but the stark reality is that I give the appearance of a not-so-special kid who takes a few honors classes. Outwardly, I'm nothing special. What I feel distinguishes me are my unique thoughts and system of thinking. The problem then, as I see it, is that INTjs are truly cursed, to be given this bubbling cauldron of ideas but a small means to express them socially, at least in situations similar to mine. Many INTjs inwardly seek recognition for their ideas, but don't do so under normal conditions. In my situation, I appear as an average above average student (if that makes any sense...) that doesn't talk to many people and is a bit awkward. So how is it then, that I use what I already have (my ideas and reasoning) to gain social status or forge a relationship? How do/did the other INTjs do it as a kid? Give some advice to somebody who is confused by this paradox. -- Firebert010 |
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| A15 I am an 19 year old INTJ male, and can agree that it is difficult to live in your innerworld complex, when you constantly have to express yourself to the outside world around you in social situations. Try not to stress out too much about it. We are creatures of innovation and habit. Count it as a blessing. I know I am going through the same kind of problem you are, but I think it is more for me a difficulty to my coming of acceptance for who I really am. Take the commandment, 'Love thy neighbor as thyself.' You can't be that extroverted loving caring person you want to be until you love who you are first. Our energy as INTJ's flows from the inside outward. Your inner peace has to be achieved first, before you come to peace with the world around, or you can never substain any learnt extravertedness. From one socially challedge INTJ teen to another, best of luck. -- INTJ-firefly7 |
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| A16 Personal experience here. Find an extrovert that is very good with people. Befriend them if you can and emulate their personality. Practice this over and over again until you actually take on some of their personality traits. Eventually you will become what you emulate. Bit by bit and little by little you will become more and more of this. Eventually over time you will be able to be extroverted in a good way when the situation calls for it. Be prepared to practice years for this result and do not give up when you fail early on. As far as what kind of extrovert, I would look for an NT. ~an INTj. -- Lux |
| A17 Most NT extraverts are just as lost as their introverted counterparts. Ever seen an ENTp with people? Lawl! I love them to death, but golly, what an experience! Go with an NF, and go with an NF with Fe for that matter (ie. ENFj or INFp), since Fe is a function that an INTj craves. INFp is our benefactor anyway; that is to say they'll translate to you what it is that other people are thinking. Those two types not only use good Fe, but can use it in a way that takes into account the long-term ramifications of their use of Fe, and they can use it in a way to really direct what they want in a social situation. Cool skills to have. -- INTj laddie |
| A18 another intj teenage male this worked for me with this problem, contrary to what you have been told all your life (most likely) don't actualy focus on the + of what you aren't, like maybe everyone else is doing irational stupid things, and weigh them against your + traits (your high iq) insted of their positive against your negative. be yur self this isn't a mirical cure but i worked for me (and remember not to start looking emidiatly on peoples bad traits, carful of that bump on the road. -- Anonymous |
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