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| Question #1234382731 | Wednesday, 11-Feb-2009 |
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| As a teenage INTj, I'm having trouble conceptualizing my life, frankly put. Over the past few weeks I've spent a great deal of time thinking about who I am and the individual factors that comprise my life and their effect on my real future and my ideal future. Not long ago I took my first MBTI test and tested INTJ. I took the Socionics test and also tested INTj in all fields. After researching (for that's what we do, amirite?) what exactly these four letters meant for me, I was completely dumbfounded by these web pages I found that told me exactly how I've been thinking for the past 17 years. It seems to me that being an INTj is both a blessing and a curse in some ways. On one side, I've been gifted with a wonderful mind and the ability to turn conception into reality using the skills I'm sure many of you are familiar with. On the other there is what I've lovingly dubbed the "social disability package" that comes along with it. Suddenly after understanding what I was, a great many things that I do and have done in the past became meaningful to me. After realizing the unique traits of my type I finally had an explanation for my lack of connection with other people in a social situation. Long before I had taken any tests I had begun to make a psychological profile of myself, trying to figure out what made me different from the other 98%. I pondered what made me seize up when talking to people, or what caused my mind to draw blanks when expected to add something meaningful to a conversation. Due mostly in part to my current situation as a student, I put a lot of thought into furthering myself socially beyond the "couple of good friends" systems that many INTjs tend to have. It wasn't until I tested that I had an explanation (in part) for what I had been experiencing my entire life. Which brings me to the present. I now find myself entertaining the thought of circumventing my own personality's shortcomings. I want to be able to be LIKE an extrovert in terms of social skills, but still want to keep the unique properties that make me the introverted thinker I am today. I want to be able to create a relationship with someone rather than waiting for someone that fits my exact criteria or happens to be a compatible type. I've thought a lot about what makes me different from other people. Outwardly, I'm not so different. I'd like to be the 4.5GPA aspiring engineer that I'd always envisioned myself as becoming, but the stark reality is that I give the appearance of a not-so-special kid who takes a few honors classes. Outwardly, I'm nothing special. What I feel distinguishes me are my unique thoughts and system of thinking. The problem then, as I see it, is that INTjs are truly cursed, to be given this bubbling cauldron of ideas but a small means to express them socially, at least in situations similar to mine. Many INTjs inwardly seek recognition for their ideas, but don't do so under normal conditions. In my situation, I appear as an average above average student (if that makes any sense...) that doesn't talk to many people and is a bit awkward. So how is it then, that I use what I already have (my ideas and reasoning) to gain social status or forge a relationship? How do/did the other INTjs do it as a kid? Give some advice to somebody who is confused by this paradox. -- Firebert010 |
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| A12 A11 - I would not have written anything if it wasn't fundamentally true. It's not about belief; it's about understanding the fundamental truth about how the universe works and one's place within it. The homeless person example is irrelevant because everybody's situation is 100% a choice, and therefore, with relation to the homeless person, his choice is to be there at that moment in time. If he didn't fundamentally want to be there, he would change the situation. The situation would not change instantaneously, or without hard work, but it would change as much as he wanted it to. My interaction with said homeless person are also entirely irrelevant, because the circumstance of being homesless has been allowed by him to exist, not by me, although influence can be made through my actions. These principles extend to our young OP here; he finds dissatisfaction in his life because he choses to view it that way. He can view his situation as either good or bad, which is 100% under his own control, and the situation within which he finds himself, is again, there because he allows it to be. Thus, if he is not happy, his mindset has to change. Otherwise, it's obvious that he'd rather be miserable than happy. The fact is, he was born with a certain skillset within a certain circumstance, and how he choses to view them is entirely up to him. However, satisfaction comes only from the acceptance of what one has been given. You can't change who you are anymore than you can change your Y chromosome into an X. He's fundamentally given certain things, and it's up to him to accept and deal with it. Furthermore, the accumulation of *things* as driven by ego and ambition do not lend themselves to aiding in self-satisfaction; in fact, ego-driven behaviour and ambitions only create further misery. The ego fundamentally thrives on being dissatisfied with what it has, and always seeks more. This is what creates ambition. To the ego, there is no such thing as "enough." Once "enough" has been found, it searches for more *things* and more misery in order to survive and grow. Therefore, the cure to ego is satisfaction with what one has, not with what one can get. It comes from living in the Now, not in the past or the future, both of which are intellectual delusions since neither are fundamentally in actual existence. And once one cures ego, or their deisre for *more*, and realizes the beauty of what they have, then satisfaction is realized. Finally, I'm going to adress two comments. The first: "If no one had ambition, we'd all be living in caves right now." So? You stated something, which may or not be true (since you did not substantiate said claim), and you expect this statement to carry weight. You're trying to emotionally persuade me with assumptions that haven't been validated. Sorry, this doesn't work. Maybe we would be living in caves, but that doesn't mean anything. It's neither good nor bad; you've simply arbitrarily assumed that such a situation would be bad. Great. I can arbitrarily chose whether I like one sports team or another too, but such arbitrary decisions mean nothing to anyone else, and therefore, carry no weight in a discussion. Secondly, the statement: "Getting laid is highly overrated": that's like telling a dehydrating man in the desert that apple juice is overrated - not for him, it isn't." First of all, the situations are not analogous, since getting laid is not essential for bodily survival. Analogy failed. Secondly, of course it isn't overrated for him. That wasn't the point. The point is, whether you get apple juice or not, or whether you get laid or not, what has changed? Absolutely nothing. Fundamentally, in terms of your life situation and who you actually are, what has changed? Nothing; you're still you. You still exist, with the same problems you always had. The only thing that has changed is that you've temporarily escaped your misery through the pursuit of fleeting materialism. Great. Escape gets you where? Nowhere. Dissatisfaction is not solved by trying to mask it with impermanent things. Problems don't go away when one accumulates things that are guaranteed to fade into nothingness with time. All that you're doing is tossing things under the rug; they're still there under the rug, no matter how nice the rug is. Satisfaction comes from embracing the essence within. It comes from living Now, rather than in a mental fantasy. A11: grab whatever you want with all the ambition you desire. Just let me know how that turns out for you when you realize that you can't keep any of it. To the OP: best of luck to you in figuring things out! I've got nothing more to add that can help you. You've got to take your own steps now, with the things that have been said here. I hope the steps that you chose turn out well for you. If you do have questions about any of this, ask them to me here, and I'd love to do my best to answer them. Best of luck! Cheers! -- INTj laddie |
| A13 Yeah. My dad is an extrovert and he used to keep making me feel guilty about being an introvert when I was a teenager. Now I know better. -- Anonymous INTj |
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| A14 Well, I'm an INT-something, or something something rather; who knows what? You sound like your preference as being an INTJ is clean-enough cut. Good for you. I'm going to be 17 soon and from when I was 14-15, I wasted my life contemplating socionics. Socionics is an interesting concept. Most of the people who are on here for so long must be strong INTJs, maybe I am too, I'm just deficient and don't understand and comprehend things well enough, so I have to adopt the seeking behaviors of other types. I used to be really shy, wouldn't talk to anyone, but I love attention and I love people, I love it when people like me. But I'm in-my-own-head and shy all the same, I'm a freakin' mess. I scored INTP last time I took the test, but I fit the definition of Ni better than Ne I think, though I get confused and am never sure. I'm super serious and intense, at my best I can appear very casual, and have learned to be Chameleon like in many different settings. I can never commit to anything. I also don't get good grades, and can talk intelligently and understand alot of things(though math is tricky unless it has to do with Classical Music) to an extent that I could be most genuinely thoughtful sounding speaker in a good sized collection of people. But I'm lazy and useless, in some ways I feel incredibly stupid. But, but but, but, I feel like I have a characteristic humility to me that is very rare, though knowing that and not letting it get to my head is another question, something that could cancel it out in the first place. Tangents. Well, my goal was to offer you some perspective, usually I have some pretty unusual perspectives. Socionics, I don't get it, I more about it than most people who claim to get it know, but, I don't have a type to confidently call my own. So, either I discredit it, or stubbornly hope it will work. -- Anonymous |
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