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ISFj Uncovered "Beneath the Sweetness"
by I/O

ISFjs are deeply sensitive individuals for whom the normal "give-and-take" of every-day life is a threatening, anxiety-producing affair and they usually hide from confrontations however minor. Instead, they will stew. Their feelings are easily hurt and they do not know how to verbalize their displeasure without "making a ...
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C1 Awesome. I love these uncovered articles, and based on my ISFj siblings, this one is pretty accurate. Nice job. -- Anonymous
C2 Its amazing that article. It pinpointed many of the issue i face being an isfp. Im not very optimistic and always worry. I seek guidance but hate criticism, which I feel I often get when seeking guidance. This leds me to hold off expressing my feelings or misgrievance. At home, even as a teenager, I tended to rule to coop. However, at a lot of problems arise do to my tendency to feel everybody is against me. I wonder if there is other isfj out there like me? How can I resolve these issue to have productive relationships -- Crystal
C3 Poems for an ISFj: Insecurity It’s easy to be annoyed with me Because I am always the cause And since I’m not at my best you see, There is reason for one to pause. There’s always cracks in serenity And praise, I should never believe Since the standards will certainly be Far above what I can achieve. I should be putting in more effort Because often, I miss my mark And live in fear of a bad report; Unworthy, I hide in the dark. Poor Me From words that were said I conjured up dread, Poor me. I hate what was done And think I should run, Poor me. I feel discontent But not confident, Poor me. I want one of those And help I suppose, Poor me. I need attention But not intrusion, Poor me. I’ve been such a pain Which drives me insane, Poor me. To express I’m blue, I decry to you Poor me. -- I/O
C4 Good job! Well done. Objective and accurate. Any chance you'll write one for ESFp soon? -- Anonymous
C5 I'm a INTJ with a ISFJ sister. We never really got along when we grew up because of the exact problems listed in the article. We would have shouting matches because she could not be in an arguement without going very personal and we just end up yelling and calling each other names. And it is very hard to get to know the real her since she is very reluctant to reveal info. that demonstrates her true personality. I had to really sit down with her to find out what makes her tick and i was very surprised to find out who she has been hiding from me. Great Article!! -- Anonymous
C6 Everything above describes my last girlfriend....as self known ENTP...i always struggled with trying to please her as well as myself....i just ended up burning my heart so bad with her but in the end We realized that we love eachother so much that neither of us want to give eachother up despite our weird and awkward relationship...thank God someone's publishing articles to help me understand some of all this madness..lol...great article...definately 5 stars worthy -- Anonymous
C7 Why do I feel like the writer was shining a bad light on isfjs? To the writer: Could you add the fact that they're highly empathetic and wonderful listeners in there? Or at least just throw a few more positive things in there? Thanks!! -- Nat (isfp)
C8 C7 isfj's do have a lot of good points but as its an isfj uncovered article I think its supposed to show the negatives. Don't worry tho all the types have been put thro the mill. -- An ISTp
C9 There is nothing worse than a disgruntled ISFJ(from experience). They get really bossy, whiny, and irritating-pretty much caught up in the moment. The ISFJ poem says it all. -- ENTP
C10 My mom is ISFj, a you are so right! -- Anonymous
C11 Classic. -- Anonymous
C12 Damn! why do I have to fall in love with an ISTJ only to find out all of this psychological crap AFTER I hugely screwed it up! Damn it! THAT WON'T HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN!!!!!! An INTP -- Locked Spirrit
C13 Is there any hope for an ISFJ and an INFP, as mates? -- INFP
C14 This article is amazing! ISFJ's really do complain a lot. -- Anonymous
C15 It does not benefit an INFP to have a close relationship with an ISFJ. Their control-freakishness can be a huge problem for a laid-back INFP. I went to Disney World with an ISFJ, and she had her little plans set for exactly what we were going to do there. Horrible experience! And, I know 3 ISFJ's. All of them solve problems by talking behinding people's backs; hoping someone else will solve their problems for them. Irritating. -- atomicpepper
C16 Question: Has anyone else experienced the ISFJ who is unforgiving and holds grudges FOREVER? Also: I have read that some ISFJs have this deep rooted belief that they don't deserve to be loved. Anyone else notice this? -- Anonymous
C17 Unforgiving and holding grudges fits the type because they frequently avoid "clearing the air", which could be a confrontational act. Expressing discontentment to a third party would be an acceptable alternative for them because this would not be confrontational. However, they do think they deserve love and attention, even demanding it in indirect ways; and the way they frequently get the center stage is by saying that they don't deserve it, by acting the martyr. Martyrdom is a control mechanism, and often not reality. This can backfire however because when a problem really does arise, they can be ignored (the cry wolf syndrome) and then they really do become martyrs. -- I/O
C18 Holding grudges, yes. My mother is ISFj and I know several people she will probably never really talk to again because of events gone past. But to her husband and children and anyone else close, she will gladly give the shirt off her back for the rest of her life, if required. The world needs this type of parent. -- C ~xNFp
C19 Do ISFJ demand attention by have temper tantrums? Are their temper tantrums another case of: Let me "show my ass and see what kind of reaction I get?" A test? A strategic, targeted test? -- Anonymous
C20 c14 is right, my mom is an ISFx. She is part bad actress part nutjob from the View, like Kim's mom from the show Intervention. -- DustBunny
C21 C-17: Yes but isn't this martyrdom their way of a "test?" Maybe they don't REALLLY feel worthy of love, so they Test and test to see if we really do. And all of that selfless giving and doing for others...Isn't that a reflection of (maybe) a basic insecurity, as if they need to prove themselves worthy of love by all of their do-gooding? More to the Point: If you have an ISFJ who has been dumped or cheated on by everyone (mates) that he has loved, what would we have? Or what would we see? Lots of tests. Lots of martyrdom, sulking, grudge holding, rash error-ridden premature judgements...paranoia? Please, any help you can add is welcome... -- Anonymous
C22 C21, what you seem to be discussing is individual personality manifestations around the type, and I cannot respond to those. I know many ISFj; they are all different. An oak tree can grow straight, or bent and twisted; it depends on the environment. -- I/O
C23 ISFJ's temper tantrums might be due to repressed anger. My brother(ISFJ) would be cool for a while. Then, something would happen and he'd explode. He'd holler and go into the backyard and start swinging firewood around at random objects. He didn't know how to properly express his frustrations, and then, he'd be so overwhelmed with emotion that he couldn't contain it. But, maybe somethings they do and some of the tantrums might be directed and controlable, but not all of them. -- atomicpepper
C24 I just read a rather complex description of the irrational nature of the SJ types ( Introverted Sensing). Coupled with an underveloped or repressed intuition, this type (ISxJ) lives an anxiety based life. They simply have no process to to reason objectively. -- Anonymous
C25 Where did you find the article? -- Anonymous
C26 I have a weblink, I don't know if I can send it. I never knew how IRRATIONAL this type was until I read this...The ISFJ has both Introverted sensing and Introverted Thinking. In other words, the don't take data in objectively at all. Add: Their primitive intuition adds all the doom and gloom (pessimism) which leaves thier extraverted feeling (their expression) utterly tentitive, conservative, weak. They don't express any strong opinions becuase they are worried that thier whole view of the world may be wrong or worthless...It's a trip. -- Anonymous
C27 yes, C24, please do tell. -- Anonymous
C28 http://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Jung/types.htm (Scroll all the way down to "Introverted Sensing" . then read "Introverted Thinking" as well) Be afraid, very afraid. Just kidding. -- Anonymous
C29 C28: The ISFj has a dominant introverted feeling function with auxillary extraverted sensation. If you're referring to the MBTI description of ISFJ, then you could try and argue for introverted sensation (if you buy MBTI theory), but the systems are not compatible with each other in this respect. Also, Jung's writings only describe manifestations of the dominant function (in this case, Fi). Reading about Si or Ti for the ISFj is not overly enlightening. -- Anonymous
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