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| Question #1214125172 | Sunday, 22-Jun-2008 |
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I am an Entj of but 20 and I have an interesting question, mainly referring to the more negative aspects of an Entj. I have been experiencing a kind of "depression" for the last 2 years or there about, and I am avidly trying to find an answer. It seems to almost be a cycle, as in I will have 1 or 2 very good days where I will act according to type and be a happy productive individual, devising plans, organizing, etc, but also enjoying the benefits of a more balanced Entj like being intuitive to those around me and thier needs, being sensitive and understanding, getting plenty of rest and finding pleasure in the simple things in life. These times are always wonderful and feel "normal". But without fail they are always followed by a down period of 3 to 4 days of depression, anxiety (with or without a concrete cause), emotional pain almost as prominent as physical pain, high high degrees of stress, no desire to eat, no desire to sleep, and no joy in hobbies or personal interests. These periods are characterized by a huge feeling of being out of control of my life (which is the most disturbing part about it all) and is the source of feelings of hopelessness and despair of never getting anywhere regardless of my natural abilities and general proficiency at life. I react to these periods according to type with massive amounts of situational and self-analysis. During the dark times I am thoroughly convinced that I am the problem and am in need of being dramatically changed or fixed to be "ok". But when these periods clear, I feel confidant in myself again and find that all the negative situations I was reacting to and feeling stressed about and all the analyzation seems to point to the situations around me as the problems and sources of my stress. Being responsible for yourself and your feelings and behaviors is a principal I strongly hold but after every occurance of these "down times" I come out realizing more and more that it may be a possibility that these periods are just my heart trying to tell me that I am in the wrong place and with the wrong crowd of people. For the last two years I have been attending a Christian Bible Training Course, which as far as religious organizations go is much more liberated in their doctrine and freely encourage people into discovering who you really are as a person. As a matter of fact they are the reason I even learned about Typology and discovered I was an Entj. However there is still plenty of religious/traditional/ritualistic qualities that as an Entj and somewhat intellectual I have a very very hard time basing my life on which of course, the church encourages you to do. I feel that maybe the lack of complexity, or just the oversimplified nature of the church is stifling to me. I also live with 4 other guys in an apt, we all went to the same Bible school together and go to the same church but they are all strong F or S types and I have a hard time getting along with any of them. Ok, the final piece of the puzzle. My parents went through a divorce when I was around 5 years old, and I have had no contact with my father for the last 14 years. I had no step dad and after the divorce my mother just focused on us kids and hasn't had a relationship since so I know that psychologically I suffer from some abandonment issues and mistrust and like to keep to people more or less at arms length. So my question is am I surrounded by lots of well meaning loving people who are just challenging me to be more open and trusting of a community and the fits of depression is me working through these issues internally? Or am I just incompatible with the environment I am in and am making it harder on myself to heal by submitting myself to it and expecting myself to fit in? Or is this just completely normal for Entj's to deal with these cycles and strong, un-manageable emotions? Thanks for reading, Entj-OR  -- Entj-OR |
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| A6 You may need a good friend or partner who's your dual to naturally activate the function(s) you are allowing to regress into oblivion. Your post does not convince me that you are ENTJ, rather, ENFJ seems also to be an option. Look for ISTJs and ISFJs to hang with, and over time you'll notice in them what you are missing so much inside you. They will naturally help you release your inhibitions and grow again as a person, rather than regress into depression as you have been. I hope the best for you, that you make it through this difficult time. -- IST-Peep |
| A7 @A3 - As a strongly religious INTj who is friends with an even more strongly religious ENTj, I don't think there is any incompatibility at all between being an NT and being religious. This is especially true, I believe, of the Christian religion, as it is and has been throughout history one of the more rational and logical religions. The problem is that most modern churches, like most of Western society in general, have been "dumbed down" to the intellectual level of a 5th grader. Of course NTs lose interest and feel stifled in such an environment. See here: http://socionics.us/practice/spirituality.shtml and here: http://socionist.blogspot.com/2007/03/identifying-types-of-religions-and.html for more on how religion and socionics inter-relate. -- Krig (INTj) |
| A8 wow A6 your the most compassion Istp i think i've ever encountered . . . Shocked major props i didnt realize our type was so . . . F-ed up no wonder we get such a bad rap he's right o' course a dual really does unlock your potential lay off the Extroverted intuition around the ISFJ's, just a word to the wise in addition to all this bro as an entj myself . . . well dude you seem kind of fixated on your problems . . . how can that really help you? i catch myself analyzing to often and yeah it makes me depressed Introverted thinking in one of my ignored functions its a cause of neurosis and phobia stick to your strengths if you need help ask for it dont let pride get the better of you and most of all dont be afraid to help yourself i realized thats really the hardest part -- ENTJ |
A9 I'm a little younger and I'm out of my "cycles" although i might occasionally "feel" them but i know i'm in charge now. When i recently fell into them i really felt confused and hopeless and Yes, the "depression" often fades away. How i handles it: First off, take an internal inventory of your strenghts, potential, talents, etc. Look up self-improvement sites etc. You need to gain self-knowledge; i.e knowing how you react to things, how you PREFER to react to things etc. When you get to know you, you'll begin to see light into why you were feeling the things you were feeling. As ENTJs we often like to take the initiative to get "our **** straight" and we might often feel REAL bad when we just don't seem able to. Once you know you, take time to FOCUS on your strenghts and pay less attention to your weaknesses. Your strenghts, talents, gifts etc are what makes you WHO YOU ARE. Yes, you might also expereince self-doubt, but realizie it's your analytical and realistic side as an ENTJ that is making you "doubt" yourself. ENTJs are skeptical of ideas and often themselves too.this allows us to make Base,Firm decisions. You are strong bro, you are an ENTJ (A FieldMarshall), realize your potential, the presence, power and Aura you have (pay attention i'm sure you'd see patterns), you probably need to deal with some childhood issues or some other false decapitating belief system you might have picked up somewhere. No matter the circumstance, "feeling" (I know, we don't work well with "feelings" we see them as weaknesses) and issue you might find yourself. Realize you are a rare material (only less than 2% of the population are ENTJs) and have unique strengths. Take it easy, focus on what is important TO YOU, set goals, and with your Unique command and presence REACH and GRAB them. Sharpen every aspect of you and watch everyone want to be around you (yes we love attention to a degree). As to religion, my advise STAY away from religion and pay attention to your belief system. Seek God in a personal way and STAY away from Charades. (and yes these ESTJs seem a bit difficult to comprehend). Hit me up if you want more info and questions, i'm sure we can encourage each other. slideshade@gmail.com  -- King |
A10 I'm a now closer to 30 ENTJ. I had similar problems in my early 20s, complete with abandonment issues and depression. I am also a committed Christian, and contrary to popular belief, was not really brought up in a Christian home. I do battle to reconcile the Christianity of the established church to my personal faith, but recognise them as a source for inspiration. I am committed to the process, and seek always to be the Christian who surprises others (which often gets me into trouble with the religious but I don't really care). ENTJs like to see the big picture. They like to be in control of the little details that will most swiftly and efficiently move them to the end set goal. An individual's life is a difficult thing to conceptualise in terms of the big picture, especially in the early 20s. The minutiae of life, for me, became a desperate struggle for meaning, and ultimately, being the minutiae, a source of despair. I found that when I was able to describe some long term goals that held meaning for me in terms of my basic personality and skillset, that I felt were also in harmony with my faith, the depression lifted. I'd recommend seeking out some counsel from someone who knows you, and who you respect to work out a "big picture" for you, even if that is subject to change along the way, it'll get you motivated out of the despair you have felt thus far. Side note: loneliness, however, will probably pursue you for much of your life, unless you can find some people who will put up with you despite yourself.  -- Anonymous |
| A11 Thank you this thread unlocked what I was looking for, I was going through the same cycle -- Lennon Entj 22 years old |
| A12 Tell those close to you what you value most. Once they know, there will be ones who will try to accommodate you and be more sensitive to the values you stated, those are your real and close friends. They will begin to understand you better and you will feel more connected with them...because you are. -- Anonymous |
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| A13 You can't "replace" God with anything. Maybe you should try asking Him for help. -- Anonymous |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
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