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ESTp Uncovered, When Nobody Loves Me
by I/O
ESTp are consummate snake-oil salespeople who have only one goal in life: to sell themselves or their ideas. If ESTp cannot gain your love or admiration, they will settle for your submission. ESTp are fast-moving and fast-talking, and seek the finer things in life, even though, those things may belong to you. However, ... they would be quite generous to others with your things.
Rules and laws are seen only as guidelines for ESTp. If they decide that something needs to be done, then they'll do it regardless of who gets hurt. Their wants and needs take precedence over any rules. They're outspoken risk-takers who don't mind getting their hands really dirty. ESTp live in the here-and-now, and place little importance on introspection or consequence.
Getting an ESTp to finish or commit to something is like trying to land a large tuna - one must come prepared for a fight. The ESTp will leave a trail of unfinished business and relationships. Their live-in-the-moment philosophy drives them to continually seek new relationships and challenges, while existing projects and people bore them. Issues that require focus and concentration will sap the ESTp of energy while the fight to avoid chores will invigorate them. ESTp remain committed only as long as there is a real impending threat to them, but they will remain totally bored with everybody and everything that is familiar.
As clever as an ESTp may be, following instruction will be the most difficult chore for them. The ESTp will often have trouble in school; they see little use of theory in their insatiable quest for new things and experiences. ESTp intuition is often wrong so they don't trust theory or their instincts, and is highly suspicious of the instincts of others. They're only interested in physically what you have and what you can give - forget the intangibles.
ESTp are proud of the fact that they don't plan because they feel they can manoeuvre in any situation. They typically makes things up as they go. However, they react more than they think; they make rash decisions and then have to fix them. They're always improvising because they use so little intuition. Their decisions and actions are based upon their understanding of the facts at hand, which are frequently incomplete, especially when the situation involves people.
ESTp use their ability to perceive attitudes and motivations to get what they want out of people. Having a strong flair for drama and style, they're very good at manipulating the truth and improvising to suit the situation. They can be extremely charming initially. However, they will eventually squeeze all the fun and energy out of relationships. As boredom sets in, their sensual nature becomes more earthy, caring little about the effect their words have on you. Their fast-paced lives will leave many friends in the dust.
ESTp approach intimacy from a shallow, physical perspective rather than from any depth of affection. They may verbally express words of affection during intimacy but never really mean any of them. They do not care what others are feeling unless they're after something, and when they get it, they usually won't express any gratitude - it's like a conquest. For them, actions speak louder than words, and words, other than their own, are irrelevant. People who require affirmation should avoid ESTp. The gift that an ESTp will give to an old friend is a toy with which they have finished playing, or one which needs a partner. They consider gifts more like tools that are reserved for gaining new conquests.
The ESTp needs to keep moving, and will place much effort into ensuring (s)he is not restricted or confined. They feel stifled and unhappy when dealing with routine chores. However, they get very excited about new endeavours, and have the ability to motivate abettors (lemmings towards the sea). Although they have talent for getting many things started, ESTp finish little. If one starts a project or relationship with an ESTp, expect to have to provide all the follow-through.
ESTp are one of the most exciting but challenging types to be around. They immerse themselves in risky situations providing non-stop action, and will suck you along with them. They are competitors that want to beat everybody into the ground - especially their old friends. They are drawn toward games of skill that offer an opportunity to defeat others. This, coupled with their tendency to cheat, makes them formidable opponents. Their own sense of personal integrity has the theme: "my way is the only way". Their rash enthusiasm and excitement-loving nature toward risk make them dangerous companions.
You know you're in the realm of an ESTp when every flat surface is piled with "borrowed" items and junk.
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C1 Beware the ESTp boss who is a snake in every sense of the word. Even when heavy set, slithers about the workplace in such a way as to catch the misusing of any piece of "valuable" equipment which they probably picked up off the curb on garbage day. Slithers is a bad term because even slithering makes a sound, where they just magically appear so perhaps mystical serpent is a more accurate term. Incidentally much more spectacular athletes than their contraries ISTps, in which the athletics also extend to finances as they are just as cheap, in an extroverted kind of way. If you want an ESTp to "love" you, you need to prove that you are irreplaceable to them. Do work that is tedious, monotonous, difficult to perform because of details/delicacy possibly in terrible conditions and that only you can perform over and over ad infinitum. Penny pinching also lacks the severity of how cheap they are, their lack of intuition will cause them to lose an arm grasping at a penny (Mr. Krabs) Complete lack of concern for human life outside of their goal makes for some of the best encouraging heroics. Many ESTp field commanders (Jason) will lead their ISTj soldiers (Argonauts) on daring escapades and the INFp lyricist will sing about it. ENTjs and other organizer types will do well to put ESTps on their front lines to whip their troops into shape. Just make sure to occasionally switch them out with an ESFj to keep people from going Full Metal Jacket and to make them appreciate their former ESTp's competence. Which is a tremendous irony, the most "competent" type apply their abilities to cheat the system: card sharks, scam artists, salesmen. For the ENTj overlord ESTps should be your henchmen captains, beware their usurping nature. Keep them in line by showing them how tedious and boring it is to have to run a whole world and that it would be better off for them to just do the fun work you give them and then pay them with a harem of INFps. Also beware that you turn off your computers with them around lest they highjack them to inform you that I have a large bank account in Nigeria and must transfer money out of and need your help. Please leave your name, address, company name -- ENTj Overlord |
C2 Wow! And I'm supposed to imagine a girl like that would be my dual as an INFp? Are you kidding or is this article very biased against ESTp's? In fact, even if I wasn't an INFp, who would love someone like you describe, seriously? And please don't answer I'm surely mistyped, as even if we assume I'm INFj instead, the ESTj description is *far less* appealing to me than this one (and this one is already almost repulsing) and if we assume I'm INTp instead (as a software engineer, and also because I'm a man who socially/culturally is expected to be more T than F, I do have a well developed T which can trick some tests and can appear as my second function when I'm "serious") then ESFp would be my dual, and while the description appeals me slightly more, I could easily see why a relation with someone of this type would fail more or less quickly... From reading this site I recall I'm not the first INxx (even by raising the incertitude, there is strictly no doubt about the first two letters for me) who is a very dubitative about his/her dual description... -- Anonymous male INFp |
C3 C2, all types have dark sides that are just as unsavoury. I've also known ESTp who've behaved like shining knights. -- I/O |
C4 C3: yes good point, and to be honest if I try to extrapolate from the very rare positive ESTp descriptions online, I could see how our strengths and weaknesses could positively combine. But what I wanted to underline is that it seems rather clear that half the type descriptions (SF and ST quadras) are way less precise and detailed and are strongly biased (it's like you can feel the hatred in them sometimes, describing the poor fools like primates unable to see further than the tip of their nose, uninterested by concepts and ideas) Surprisingly (or not) NF and NT types are over represented and described, in fact so detailed that most of the time descriptions overlap (wereas for the other quadras they do much less, or is it an impression?) I've read those tests were created either by INFp's or INTp's and it's like (statistics on this site do prove this) we're amongst the only ones to care about it at all, with INTj, ENTp and ENTj's to a lesser extent (ENTj like it because it allow them to learn how to control people more efficiently to achieve their field masterminding plans...) ENFp are the ones who tend to reject and mitigate the test the most, they keep saying it's trivial and that anyone can "feel" this without having to learn it (thanks to their psychological skills) or worse they reject it saying it's way too limitative...ENFj's understand but are not thrilled either... As for all the other types I met, they really don't care about this at all, leading me to think that they are not active at all in the debates and that their type descriptions were made up by NF or NT people, who saw them through their own "filters", and it shows in the results (description of the SP traits clearly reflect the fears of the poor NT's unable to use their senses, not understanding artistic concerns, and also unable to live in the "here and now". And descriptions of the SJ traits reflect the fears of the fool NF's unable to understand how a mind could be so rigid and hermetic to ideas and concepts...) What's your views on that topic? -- Anonymous male INFp |
C5 I've sensed disdain (hatred may be too harsh a word) from many individuals who have jaundiced opinions, but not from Socionics or M-B type descriptions. As for primates, I think that Sp-types are innately wired for hunter-gatherer scenarios and Sj-types for primitive communities, especially types that operate in closed-loop mode. N-types would simply be doomed were it not for S-types because it's the actual detail that can kill. And of course, one should not confuse information processing style nor anyone's priorities with intellect or ultimate capability. -- I/O |
C6 Was married to an ESTP. The negative description is dead on. -- Pained |
C7 How do you "beat" an ESTP ? How do you bring out their worst qualities, so they isolate themselves socially? -- Anonymous |
C8 I found myself very amused with this description precisely because it tickles my secret hate for ES. -- male INTP |
C9 I have dealt with many ESTP's in business situations (they favor entrepreneurial situations) and the fun thing about them is that when they are busy extracting from you, they leave you the keys to the kingdom. You know, so that you can be more effectively exploited. -- Anonymous |
C10 For author of article: How can ESTP "always accomplish their goals" while, as you say, "never finish anything"? -- Anonymous |
C11 ESTp accomplish many of their personal goals; however, their goals are often not those of everyone else. For example, a policeman solves the crime (for him, the most exciting part of his work and his only goal) but fails to complete the paperwork, so the supervisor sees him as not finishing his work. I have observed that ESTp need to in some way personalize the goals that are set by others - make it theirs so to speak, which is not an easy task for them since they cherish autonomy and freedom. So, when the ESTp doesn't want to do something, they'll formulate an avoidance scheme and successfully carry out that plan. Accomplishment and success is a matter of perspective. -- I/O |
C12 I/O, thank you. This is another excellent article -- Anonymous |
C13 Types should be interacted with as individuals. There are overlapping characteristics of other types borrowed from interaction. There are other qualities of ESTP's that are not evident in individual type description, and all ESTP's are not textbook. -- Anonymous |
C14 C13, I agree that there can be wide variations of personality within a type but there are also fundamental operating perspectives that are highly predictable. MBTI is good at describing behaviour of an individual in isolation, which is an interesting academic exercise. However, I consider interactive behaviour as far more revealing and useful – what happens when individuals' control systems sync and or interfere with one another. -- I/O |
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