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Old 27/06/2012, 07:01 AM
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nahbee1235 nahbee1235 is offline
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Default I once knew an ESFj

A few summers back, through friends of friends, I became acquainted with an ESFj. I admired his confidence and his good looks, and actually had a not so insignificant crush on him for a good few months. He was at a point in his life where he was jobless and homeless, staying at various friends' houses while searching for work. He had some interesting friends, and lots of them. Mostly they got together to get high. I asked one of his friends what he does when he's not getting high, his response was essentially "getting ready to get high". I thought that was pretty funny, but then also began to wonder what it was like to have no ambition in life beyond getting high. I guess it fascinated me because he was everything my parents raised me not to be. I was pushed to be ambitious, driven, successful... to get a college degree, a good, high-paying job, or at least a husband that had that sort of job... and here he was, this guy who just wanted to get high and nothing else. He was very laid back, and, well, every time I saw him, he was high. Back to the ESFj. So, I had a crush on him, yadda yadda yadda... but then this thing happened. It might seem like a small thing, and the first time it happened, I was a little hurt, but continued with inviting him over and being friendly with him. But then it happened again. And again. And it was the third time that it happened, that I finally confronted him about it. He was a very social and talkative person, and also very animated. Lots of movement, gesturing, playing with things. Well, him just being him, he broke a few of my things. But it wasn't just that he broke them, it was that he 1) thought it was hilarious and 2) never apologized. I didn't have a lot of money at the time, and so the few things I did have were precious to me, but these items even moreso, the last thing especially, because they had some sentimental value to me. Anyway, I told him it wasn't f'in funny, I was tired of him breaking my things and not apologizing. To which he said he was sorry, all the while still laughing, as if he was watching a comedy. That made me even more furious, because it "grinds my gears" so to speak, when people speak hollow words. I knew he wasn't sorry, nor would he ever be. I told him to get the f--- out. Then he stopped laughing and looked at me, trying to gauge whether I was serious or not. So I told him again to get the f--- out. He promptly gathered himself and whatever things he had and left. After that, whenever I saw him, he was ready with the middle finger or an angry face. He would do this thing, where if I was talking to someone (a mutual friend usually, with our social circles overlapping and what not) he would walk behind that person and then scowl at me in such a way that I couldn't give my full attention to the conversation anymore. His facial expression was such that I simply could not ignore him. It was weird and annoying, but we never really saw much of each other, so it didn't happen often. So, what is the point of this post? Well, now that I've pretty much positively identified him as an ESFj, I'm going to cross off the list ESFj and INTj as my types. and also INTp. Because though we had a falling out, I don't fell bitter about it. Just kind of sad. ESFj's aren't my duals and I don't know if I could get close to an ESFj. But they are good-looking people.....
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