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Old 15/06/2010, 03:06 PM
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Willow Willow is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 14

Well, if your INFj doesn't think he has anything to learn from you then he is a far less mature person than he thinks he is. No matter what a persons age, we all become complacent in our own perspectives and our vision can become myopic unless we learn to see through the eyes of another who is significantly different from us. Relationships are about growing together as we learn to adapt to the other person.

I have been married for ten years to an INTj who started out really trying to make me over. It was always me who needed to learn from him even though all his faults were so obvious to me. But he has long since grown past that now. He was really just insecure at first and was hoping that I wouldn't notice his faults as long as he kept pointing the finger at me. I think he imagined at first that the fact that I couldn't see his flaws very well was evident in the fact that I obviously loved him. It was hard for him to accept that I could see him for what he truly was and still love him. But now we have found that as we have learned from each other that has brought us so much closer to each other.

I have no way of knowing if your situation bears even the slightest resemblence to mine. But I do know that both people in a relationship must be willing to learn from each other if they are to create a truly strong bond with each other. True intimacy requires the meeting of equals. A student-pupil relationship will only go so far.
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