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Question #1343558925Sunday, 29-Jul-2012
Category: INTj Personality Advice
any tips from types/individuals who understand intjs well? they can be SO complicated sometimes ( @ least the one I know well, who I suspect has some emotional issues) that it gives me a headache. I have the basics down.. I know they like alone time, space, someone to help them to get out and have fun & I can understand that. Do they tend to be selfish & clueless about others? or am I percieving that wrong? any insights are appreciated. -- entp
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Your Answers: 1+
A1 INTjs are often clueless about others and not good at reading body language. You have to tell them exactly what you mean - no games or innuendo. They're no more selfish than other types but they can be overly into themselves and their issues. I have found that ENTp and INTj don't often get along; the former likes to open things up while the latter wants to tie things down. -- INTj
A2 Try intjcentral.com. -- Anonymous
A3 I read this somewhere perhaps on this site: INTJ- cold outside cold inside INTP- warm outside cold inside INFJ- cold outside warm inside INFP- warm outside warm inside I was married to an INTJ, very self-centered and definitely not clueless about people, actually very insightful about people, yet they tend not to really care how they are perceived by others. Unless you are the self-sacrificing ESFJ type perhaps the self-centerness is a bit much for most. -- ESTJ
A4 A2 is inaccurate as we are talking of the psychological type INTj and not INTJ the MBTI personality type. INTj can read people really well. They often are very caring, but constantly asses is it going to waste on that person. With open caring ESFj they are absolutely sure they are cared in return. Others feel like gamble after awhile. As others may not accept INTj as they are and this translates as negative assessment. There may be some misunderstanding that keeps reoccurring with you two and INTj can't really fix it so they wish to forget it and move on and hope it never happens again. You may want to as ENTp reopen the issue. An issue you were not even aware of except in feeling of discomfort. It is natural for you two to have this sort of confusion of each other as you are in Mirror relationship. Your weakness is their confidence and vice versa. It is very important for INTj to be in a warm atmosphere. So if the issue pops up again by trying to open it or just by your communication the atmosphere will drop. INTj will want to get out of it as they see it will be useless to even try to fix or explain each others' perception on things. Unless you are working on a project together there really will not be any profit from opening up on your different perceptions on things. However I am amazed you haven't introduced psychological types and personality types to your INTj! They will lap it up and purely for analysis reasons you may get what you want. Which is clear the air. They will probably want to analyse your relationship. You may want to ask what they think on the mirror relationship and your mutual relationship. -- Ty M.
A5 INTJs are always described as someone arrogant when you only look at their outer side, but it's not always like that. My friend is an INTJ, and despite her coldness towards others, she's actually very warm when you get know her very well. It's just they don't feel it's worth it to be kind toward people she doesn't know very well, as they always think there are lots of things better to do rather than caring about people, but when you became a part of their social life, you will find them as a loyal and committed person. -- Anonymous
A6 I think INTjs are often misunderstood as selfish or arrogant (not that they can't be selfish of course) when what they're actually doing is holding themselves to a high standard of intellectual consistency. This means they reject, from their own internal structure, input from others that doesn't meet those standards (most of it probably doesn't) and if they have poor social skills that rejection can come across as argument or insistence on their own viewpoint, when all it really is is not completely accepting the input straight away. -- Tejing
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