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Question #1340869791Thursday, 28-Jun-2012
Category: Subtypes Relationship Personality ISTj INFj
I am an INFJ with a ISTJ sister and I was wondering about other INFJ relationships with ISTJ's and or vice versa? I find that though I have a large family she happens to be the person I have the hardest time being understanding to. She's a sweet-heart and the most dependable person, but for me has the most annoying habits. She's very clingy and I'm very independent. She has to do everything by the book, no exceptions, and I like to look at things and figure out the best way irregardless of what the book says. I'm a procrastinator but very fast paced so I always get things done on time, she will start working on things right away but it takes her forever to do them. Are most INFJ-ISTJ relationships difficult? Some good traits are that though she really seems not to be able to figure things out for herself she pays attention to what shes told and always wants to be helpful.She will listen to you when you need it and is very faithful.Perhaps some of the reason why I have a hard time with her is that I am subconsciously jealous of some of her traits I don't know. Any thoughts? -- Anonymous
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Your Answers: 1+
A1 INFJ and ISTJ are very different and subsequently have a difficult time relating to one another. I am an INFJ and was married to an ISTJ for 15 years. I also have an ISTJ sister. They are very "by the book" and do not appreciate our vivid imaginations. They seem to prefer the facts only whereas we prefer possibilities. We have never been able to communicate deeply because of this. Yes, ISTJ's can be very dependable, hard workers but they also tend to get off focus while working on a problem because they are very thorough (INFJ not so much) and not have the ability to prioritize as well as we do. We have a tendency to procrastinate until we feel overwhelmed enough to motivate us to work really fast and hard to accomplish everything on time. From my experience and this may not be true across the board, the ISTJ's I know are extremely insecure and uncertain about themselves, their relationships and their feelings. I believe this contributes to their need to control their environment. I do not believe an INFJ and an ISTJ are capable of a deeply emotional, close relationship. If there is a relationship out there that exists, I would love to hear how it was accomplished. I can have ISTJ's as casual friends but not a true confidant. -- Anonymous
A2 I'm an INFJ male and my older brother is ISTJ (both parents are ISFJ), and we are about as different in views and desires as they come. I jokingly call my brother Eeyore, because he's often so mundane about things, and not very opinionated. He's easy to get along with, but can't deal with debate to save his life, and I love debating things for the best possible outcome. -- Shawn
A3 ISTj tried to kill himself upon divorce from INFj per INTp child -- Fatal Attraction
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