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Question #1311497577Sunday, 24-Jul-2011
Category: j/p Marriage Relationship Theory
Is it possible for one to change from a p to a j? I am an ESTj and my wife is an INFp. We fit the descriptions to a T. We are also in a "conflicting relations" (the worst) status and fit that description to a T as well (all these definitions are on this site). What sucks is that we are just one j or p change away from a "relationship of duality" (the best) status. We are about to get divorced. Please help! -- Anonymous
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A1 Changing is impossible but understanding one another is very possible; however, both would need to make the effort to understand and accept each other's perspective. Conflicting relationships have their difficulties but are not the worst. -- Anonymous
A2 Trying to 'change' your J to a P is at best energy draining, and at worst impossible. Not only will this be extremely hard, she is also not techincally seeing the real you anymore. Since nature is not your side, perhaps you should resort to other methods. For one, focus on what kind of feeling and thoughts brought both of you together in the first place and try to recreate them and just acknowledge that both of you are polar opposite(which is not a bad thing) and work out a better way to comunicate and interact with each other(like create a system where she says/do X, it actually means Y to you and vice versa). If both of you are truly in love/committed to this relationship, nothing should be impossible. Also try to get both of you to read about the ESTJ/INFP types more to fully understand each other's 'world' and 'language' more -- INTP
A3 It's always seemed to me that introverted types descriptions at this site have actually reversed j and p. That is, the INFp description is actually an INFj description, the ISFj description is actually an ISFp description, etc. So it's possible you are an INFj. I can perfectly understand you want to do something about your relationship, but unfortunately if your relationship fits the Conflicting description, it's possible it really is Conflicting, and in that case it will always be problematic. Changing your type isn't possible. One can choose which functions to use more and which ones less, but using your non-preferred functions is energy draining, as INTP has written here. -- Anonymous
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