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Question #1288621019Monday, 1-Nov-2010
Category: INFj ISTj Gay Relationship
I am a INFJ woman dating a ISTJ woman. ISTJ is not flexible and always right. Will there ever be peace between us? I am trying to be flexible and understanding. -- nett
Your Answers: 1+
A1 ISFj always think they're relatively right while ISTj think they're absolutely right. Both of you need to communicate better, and more frequently; don't simmer for long whiles and then blow-up or give ultimatums. -- I/O
A2 I would look for a different guy. You would probably fair best with an ENTP. my husband is a very compassionate (with me) and tidy entp. We see the world similarly, probably as a result of our dominant iNtuition. Same sense of humor & vision. He's awesome, and smart. My intj friend's husband is an istj. he's good for her... but... oh boy. narrow minded. lacks ability to show a lot of emotion. only can see his point of view. just not a big-picture kind of guy. He's also pretty boring. Not real funny. Nice enough, but ... plain. a plain personality. and stubborn. just annoys me to even think of him. -- Anonymous
A3 A2: I assume you are speaking in MBTI terms. According to Socionics, an INFj would likely have the best chance with an ESTj, her dual. Honestly, will there ever be peace between you? Two of my closest, long-time friends are ISTjs. They are extremely rigid when it comes to their opinions, but they're not pushy about them unless they feel they need to assert their "rightness." They are completely inflexible in their methods - you might as well yield to them in this regard. If you're committed to this ISTj, the best thing I can tell you is to be animated and lively when you're with them and make sure to give them plenty of space when they need it. They are very loyal to their loved ones. -- INFj
A4 No, there is no peace and no way to make it. I am an INFJ, married to an ISTJ for 14 years. We were never able to communicate or understand each other. I dealt with verbal and emotional abuse for years. This ISTJ was like jekyll and Hyde and put on a fake front in public while being abusive, nasty and mean to those that were supposed to be closest to them. I believe this stemmed from his own insecurity. I have a VERY close relationship with my INFJ daughter but have never even come close to what I can call a "relationship" with my ISTJ husband. We are too different, he was always right and I was an idiot (called that many times). -- Anonymous
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A5 A2 Please reread. Woman + Woman does not = look for different guy. Therefore your responses are invalid. -- Anonymous
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