| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1285830136 | Thursday, 30-Sep-2010 |
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Hey everybody! I just need a quick word of advice here: I'm an ENFp (a female, college student) and one of my close friends is an INFp (a female, social worker), meaning we are in a contrary relation. I've found that the description of Contrary relations rings true for this friendship, but it fails to provide any real solutions to the problems it presents. This friend of mine met me in college and now lives far away (physically providing a natural distance barrier), but, nevertheless, we have chosen to keep our friendship going over the years. Yet, as the contrary relation description indicates, we still have problems with the psychological distance of our friendship. I would like to keep this friend around for a long time, because I really do care about her and want to support her, but this problem constantly keeps popping up and interfering with our friendship. Does anyone have any solutions? Because, for the time being, I'm out of them. Thanks!  -- Jessica |
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Your Answers: 1+ |
A1 There's not really much you can do to change the nature of relations between two types. Relationships in opposite quadras require a lot of work to maintain; of course it is possible but people are more likely to let psychologically distant relationships die-off because easier ones are more satisfying. Since neither of you share ego functions, nor are you fulfilling the other ones dual-seeking and hidden agenda functions there is little desire to stick around. In my experience, the best way to appeal to someone is to use as much as possible their 5th or 6th functional element. This can be hard if it's one of our weak unvalued functions (3rd and 4th) but gets easier with practice. In the case of your friend, she has weak valued  and  , and neither are your strengths but try using some since it's less painful of the two, and see what happens. -- jragonfly |
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