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Question #1273764022Thursday, 13-May-2010
Category: Advice INTp
Does anyone have advice for an INTP to come into their personal power to have a happy, well-balanced life rather than suffering from repeated victimization, injustices, betrayals and power abuses in life? I've had endless trouble with finances, career exploitations, relationships (beyond love (were it possible)), you name it. Life's been barely sustainable for quite some time now ... it's like living by threads, and all my "problem-solving" of other people's issues and reliable "predicting" of future forecasts etc. ~ I can't seem to get my strengths to work for ME. I want to know if it's going to ever get better of if I should just end it now, for I do not see how to turn into the shallow, mindless, easygoing bloke who's got everything going their way in life with no worries, as all the sh*t continues to fall on types such as mine. -- Anonymous
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Your Answers: 1+
A1 Welcome to the club, homey. First off, if you're feeling down enough to consider leaving this crazy planet, call a helpline, community center, mental health counselor, or even one of those priest things. There's no shame in asking for help, and it's probably available on the cheap. Secondly, that shallow, mindless, easygoing bloke you detest is shallow and mindless. Be grateful you've got critical faculties and developed principles. Also, concern yourself with things you can control, like your life, not things that you can't, like that guy's. That said, most people are annoyed by unsolicited advice, no matter how accurate, heartfelt, or insightful. Even if they voice a complaint they'd usually rather just receive a sympathetic pat on the back than pragmatic solutions (look how many people write in to advice columnists in the obvious hope of receiving permission to what they already know is wrong). And if they have asked you to throw some brainpower at their issues, remember to apply a little tact in delivering your analysis and solutions. Reflect on how your situation relates to this and this (links to cached pages as that server is often slow) Get a copy of Sakyong Mipham's "Turning the Mind Into an Ally". This book has been very helpful in my struggles. I take the author's buddhist metaphysic with a grain of salt, but he lays out a simple and effective meditation technique that, if practiced, should not only quiet the chattery, analysis-addicted, anxiety-manufacturing left side of your brain but also improve your empathy with others. That's especially important when being excessively inward-dwelling hampers your ability to, as I put it, interface with humans, or even put up with yourself. For similar reasons, look into dialectical behavior therapy. Good luck. -- INTp
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