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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1264984635 | Monday, 1-Feb-2010 |
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| Would it be a good idea for an ESFJ to date an ISFP? Any arguments and troubles all the time? Could someone share their experiences? -- Anonymous |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 The folks who live next door to me are an ESFj - ISFp married couple, and they get along great from what I can see and are very supportive of eachother. I don't have any hands-on experience with mirror relations in dating, though. -- ENFp |
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| A2 Romance blossoms quickly since they share the same values and then the relationship will struggle due to differences in each types way of life. A good middle of the road relationship where each type learns what they want in life like finding their true love but ultimately they part ways. -- Anonymous |
| A3 I am extremely close friends with an ESFj, an amazing one too... but we function incredibly different. I think the ESFj/ISFp make wonderful friends, but relationship-wise, I really can't say. ISFp might be prone to hurting the ESFj if the ESFj's F is too strong. The ISFp is probably the most intuitive of sensors, and the ESFj is probably the 2nd to least intuitive... so that barrier might become very evident and restricting after a few years or less. The ESFj might find the ISFp unable to keep up with their enthusiasm and energy, and the ISFp might find the ESFj demanding and eventually feel trod upon or taken advantage of. ESFjs definitely are good at drawing ISFps out of their shells though - which we greatly appreciate! One good thing is the ESFj/ISFp are likely to share inner values and both be pretty service-oriented, so they'll understand each other's needs to be attentive to their other friends. Also, ISFps are accommodating the the ESFjs rigidity, and will be supportive most of the time, if not always. If the two are in love and willing to reach a happy medium in their differences E/I and J/P differences, I'm sure they could make a practical team. Ultimately though, the ESFj will need friends to be activity-buddies with, and the ISFp will need friends who can listen to them and discuss abstract things with. Shrug... with my ESFj friend, we end up needing to do a lot of explaining to each other - he often thinks I'm out to get him, and he becomes very defensive, which makes me play offense ... it's a vicious cycle. He loves telling story upon story upon story. He desires to be perfect (and believes he can attain perfection by shear effort), and I will never be able to understand such a desire. ISFps who are in relationships with ESFjs MUST be supportive ALL the time though, always. But we're good at that. =] That wasn't very coherent, but oh well. I'm curious to hear what others have to share. -- female ISFp (SEI) |
| A4 A3 is pretty dead on, though I'm a male ISFP dating an ESFJ. Like mirror relations we do want the same thing but always see things differently. As a male (or ISFp?) who needs abstract, intelligent discussion though, the ESFJ female can be lacking and not very supportive (especially if a problem/solution scenario arises). -- male ISFp |
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