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Question #1249162609Saturday, 1-Aug-2009
Category: Relationship ENTp INFj Intertype Relations Advice
Hi. I am an ENTP female and i have a INFJ female bestfriend. at first our friendship was very sweet. i find her very sincere and she is the one who always tell me that i am the best among her former bestfriends. she is always expressive regarding how much she values our friendship. but lately, she decribed that some things has changed. that our friendship became sour because she started to demand things and envy the attention i give to others and my pursuits. God knows that I value her and i was sadden when she decided to refrain herself from me for some time because she is afraid to hurt me because of her attitude. i went through a problem and she cannot emphatize because she was too focused on herself and her demands. she admits this and wanted to be a better friend. i always assure her that she remains to be my bestfriend no matter what. my question is, what are the ways that i can show to her or assure her that i value her and that she should not linger about me not caring for her. we know for a fact that there are difference on how we show affection. she wanted me to treat her the way she treats me. is it really possible? i would like that we will understand one another and find ways to adjust. please help thank you! -- maj
Your Answers: 1+
A1 sorry to be a little pessimistic, but supervision relationships are among the hardest in as far as harmony is concerned. neither of you has to be a bad person for problems to arise. jealousy/attention issues that you mention are a common occurrence ... can even be a daily occurrence. i guess a little bit of faith in what is being said is what may be needed (but who am i to say?), cause actions and behavior tends to be interpreted in the most unhelpful of ways. it is a sad thing... i am caught up in a similar situation right now! I wish you all the best. -- Anonymous
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A2 introduce her to socionics! OR explain to her in kindly but simple, blunt terms (INFj's want unadorned honesty) what your needs are in this friendship, and how they stem directly from your personality. tell her that she doesn't have to understand it, or be able to empathize with you (probably a lot of her frustration is stemming from not being able to empathize with you), but that you know how you like things, that you don't mean any harm, and that's just how it has to be (all this in a sympathetic manner). -- S
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