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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1243453459 | Wednesday, 27-May-2009 |
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| INTjs and INTps, do you think you would recognize if your partner was suffering from the relationship with you? The thing is, I know this unmarried ENFp woman-INTp man couple, both are 38, divorced from someone else and now living together with the ENFp's children. They seemed like a very happy couple the first two years, but the last three years every time I visit them they both look unhappy and exhausted and as if having waited for me to bring new air. To me, it looks like the effects of a long-term Illusionary relationship, I have experienced one myself so I know what it looks like. The ENFp wrote me once that it's very hard for her to stay with the guy, as they often seem to live each on a different island, but it's also hard to be alone. They have similar interests and way of communication, but what they expect from each other is different and they are also both nice and submissive, they're missing a leading element. It's very hard for me to see them unhappy but I don't want to interfere. INTs and ENFps, how would you behave in such a situation? Any insight would be much appreciated. -- ESFp |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 In order to make a non-dual relationship work, both partners must behave in unnatural ways. If I were to find myself in a long-term, committed Illusionary relationship (i.e., where ending the relationship would only result in more heartbreak, not less), I would try to use my Role function more, in order to provide my significant other with the Dual-Seeking element that she needs. -- Krig (INTj) |
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| A2 A1: Thanks for the post. Yeah, in theory that's correct and it's exactly what the guy was doing the first couple of years, but you cannot be someone else forever. Now his NT side is coming to the surface more and more and his Se is getting crazy and the ENfp is suffering from this change, especially because she also spent several years trying to be an Se. -- ESFp |
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