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| Question #1239314163 | Thursday, 9-Apr-2009 |
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| Hi people! =) I know it all sounds trivial but I really got a serious problem in my life right now that I don't know how to deal with. Well, I have scored as E/INFP but that was a long time ago and now I always score as ISFP, I have always identified with this type,too..it describes me pretty well. My problem is that I really don't know where i'm going,or what i wanna be in this life,or what i really wanna achieve (maybe that's typical for an almost 18 years old). Also I'm experiencing depression periods and that's because I'm in love with an ISTP (pretty sure he likes me too) but he's a year older so he'll go to college in about 3 months time so I won't see him for a year & I am afraid he might forget me.This is part of the reason for my sadness.But what I really need advice on is my lack of motivation for anything- I mean since I was a little girl I've always wanted to be a star ,I know it sounds naive ( it's not about fame it's all about doing what I love) but I was really young when I found out my singing and acting talent and it's been confirmed by professionals and by my friends as well. I am used to having a purpose in life and being determined to achieve it,and believe me I know what I want and what i've always wanted- to be an ARTIST ,A REAL ARTIST who makes music that makes everybody get up & dance to the beat , who expresses herself through the things she creates.But in my head I constantly hear the voices of all those people,including my parents who tell me that it's not possible to make my dream come true and that if I follow my heart I'll end up hungry and homeless. They all insist that I get a degree in something they consider a serious job - like law,medicine,pharmacy,management -they are all well-paid. But here's the problem I am not an academical sort of person,nor do I enjoy sciences or anything of that kind- I yearn to be on stage,to enetertain people,to see how I affect them in some way,but this is considered unachievable by many people I know ( though there are friends that always encourage me as well as my vocal & acting coach cuz they see I got talent). Also i drive myself really hard to develop my singing and acting skills so that one day people won't see me as just a tacky artist. I judge myself and my abilities in the arts with harsh perfectionism and I see other people that are in my opinion plain talentless that think of themselves as the next Mariah Carey. (although I'm not really bothered by them, I mind my own business) So please help me- how do I balance my dream of becoming an artist with others expectations of me? Cuz u see as an ISFP,art is my great love I cannot live even one day without practising my skills and developing them.And I always feel like I should be doing things better.That brings me such a satisfaction that;s what I wanna do my whole life - I sincerely want to express my feelings in the music I make.So do u think that if I follow my heart I'll really end up as an unsuccessful,poor and unloved bitch with no family ,who envies her frinds that have become bank managers or something? Is it really that wrong to be fond of things that aren't considered serious or worthwhile by the so called "adults"? But I know I'm serious about my potential career as an artist - I'm willing to work and sacrifice if needed just to get to where I wanna be, and I'm constantly striving for progress & perfection.I know this has almost nothing to do with Socionics or MBTI (except the fact that i'm an ISFP) and I realize that I just wrote a novel =) but it made me feel better cuz the reason for my sadness/depression is besides my love for the ISTP guy,this BIG problem that I just described.Please,give me ur advice on that particular problem. Any thoughts? Should I give up my dream to follow a carrer as a lawyer for example? (my parents would be so delighted but I;m really not willing to conform to any expectations placed upon me Honestly..I get such a satisfaction when doing thigs my way despite other;s opinion (devil) =))Sry 4 my English ,I;m not a native speaker. =) Thanx in advance 4 ur answers! -- Anonymous |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 Rioght so i am a ESTp who is in the arts. I'm making acting my career with only one year of experience prior. Maybe I'm doing this cause my type loves to take risks, maybe it's because the thought that i could wind up broke and homeless excites me. But in the end it's not a question of if your going to wind up broke and homeless, its a question of if your going to allow yourself to wind up broke and homeless. Because failure is not permanent until you don't get back up, so if you make the resolve to never stay down then follow through you should be fine. So as some one who is staking his future and life on a whim (acting sounds fun lets do that) will i end up living in a cardboard box? No, i wont let it come to that. I may not make it as a actor because a large part of show business is luck, but i wont end up with nothing. And hey even if i do end up in a cardboard box, you can damn well bet that it is going to be the coolest damn cardboard box castle you ever will see. -- JWC3 |
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| A2 Your problems aren't that serious. If the guy and you are good enough for each other, it'll work. Same for your professional idealizations; if you really want it, go be in the arts. If you love it, the fact that you have no money wouldn't matter (not say that that it's a given that you will). There's no point in having a family/money/kids if you're not going to be happy. Do what feels right, what's your heart, and pursue it with undue passion! You'll find that in doing so, you'll end up in the completely right place, whether it was where you wanted to go in the first place or not. -- INTj laddie |
| A3 Your answers are so sweet ! Thank u =) -- Question asker |
A4 Blimey a lot of writing there... I'll try to give you a good answer though  Like A2 your problems ain't that bad, then again you're a teen, you're decisions now determine where you'll be in life 20 years down the road. After all, I'm an 18yo too so I know exactly where ya coming from!  This may be a bit sexist, but you're a female so it shouldn't be so much of a concern to you to get a job that earns you a lot of dosh, men are usually the ones who go out and earn the money for the family. So from that point of view, your free to go and do whatever your heart desires. HOWEVER, it would be stupid to close doors and academic qualifications give you a strong base and you will have a sort of back-up if you're singing career fails with these qualifications to go into a different area of work. From what I can tell, its tough to make it as a singer, so i will be hard, very hard. But I suppose it's your hearts desire, so if you put it off now, that yearning will keep coming back. Oh and with the guy thing, it'll sort itself out. If it's meant to be, then it'll work out, if it doesn't then you'll have to move on. -- ENFP |
| A5 I agree with A2 on this. i think what ultimately matters is doing something you really enjoy from your heart... even when you're lets say 47 or something. i mean this is something you are going to do EVERY single day of your life... extrinsic motivations like making other people happy is simply not a lasting motivation and a terrible feeling motivation in my opinion to wake up each and every morning and force yourself to do something you really dont have your heart in all day everyday... you'll probably end up resenting the people you are doing it for... Heck you are lucky you even found what it is that just does it for you - in this case performing. And let me tell you one thing, if its true love on both sides, no matter where you are financially, your boyfriend WILL stick to you...(unless you decide to cheat or something lol), if not then he was never worth it and good riddance. you will NOT end up as an 'unloved bitch with no family' Artists make good parents, even the ones barely making it by make good parents too all guys know that money has nothing to do you making a great wife and mother. and you seem like a very lovable person to me ... About making your parents happy and their expectations from you, i personally believe that our well wishers and people who love us like our parents and friends that are being negative to look out for us may not understand our passions but they usually are happy if we become successful in the end no matter what we choose to do... maybe not if its something like robbing banks or prostitution lol. Don't you think your parents would be ok with you doing something and making enough to survive..? and if you feel you want to make even more money you can always go back to school and do something "realistic" on the side. You can also try performing for a couple years before deciding whether or not you want to go college.. it's totally upto you. i have always believed that what we do is completely our choice even if we are dependent on other people.. for me being happy by doing something i like for the rest of my life is important to me, i mean its something we are going to do every single day of our lives... i NEED to like it. i agree that there are uncertainities and risks involving pursuing professions that have limited opputunities and that are highly competetive, but i think that it is worth the try... and how boring is the sort of life that people and us plan out each and every point and turn in life for us so that we safely (and boringly) end up doing something just because it is "realistic" and safe. If you feel like screwing up (doing something that you just might regret and messing up our carefully planned ten year plan or something), just do it. i believe in making and learning from my own mistakes instead of people (usually well wishers) trying to insist upon me to learn from THEIR mistakes and take the safe route all the time. i want to make my own mistakes. and i want to try and see what happens when i take the road less travelled and have that satisfaction later in life that i did mess up majorly and i still survived and im doing fine. I have a very positive outlook in life, and i think i will have atleast a little fun in whatever i'm doing and that if i'm not, i can get out of it. like Bob Ross would say "We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents." lol and about you worrying about your bf frogetting about you, well as long as you dont knowingly hurt him by cheating or somethign, and try as much as he does and make him happy, i dont see how he would... -- Anonymous |
| A6 Thank you soo very much ! =) -- Anonymous |
| A7 -- Anonymous |
| A8 Thank u Thank u =) -- Anonymous |
| A9 should try to learn forex trading as both a job and/or side income -- Anonymous |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
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