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Question #1236952475Friday, 13-Mar-2009
Category: ISFp Hidden Agenda Personality
How do you get an ISFp to stop assuming that people won't understand them and thus enable them to open up more and stop being so defensive? Thanks. -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Let them make that decision for themselves? -- INFp guy
A2 Have you considered that perhaps they don't assume anything that you've suggested, and that they simply have nothing that they want to share to being with? Whatever the case may be, you cannot expect a person to have certain qualities, nor can you expect them to behave in a certain way. Leave the ISFp alone to be themselves without expecting them to give you anything or act in a certain way, and they'll be most content. Maybe then, if they have anything to share, will they do so. -- INTj laddie
A3 If I'm comfortable enough around you, I will open up more. Most times though I just don't have anything to talk about. -- Anonymous
A4 my sister (isfp) knows I understand her very well but she's not a talker and doesnt often like to open up. She's not very into the whole emotional bonding thing because she doesnt like to talk about her emotions. However, if you catch her at the right times, she can go on and on venting about something that happened to her -- Anonymous
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A5 ISFP's are to my experience the most easy to predict and understand. I got my experience with a few of them. It have baffled me to the extent they are slaved to subjective frames of reference. If such behaviour is representative to the group as per se, I can't tell, but the individuals I refer to sure are. And I have left them alone, up to the point where I have quit proposing constructive criticism and advices. Not that they have burdened me with solutions on their problems, more that they have lived parts of their life in what I call unnecessary resistance in certain departments. Which in my world is bad efficiency. Venting problems... sure they do, but tweaking the situation to their benefit? No,... can't do, won't do, must,nt do. Something like that. Uninspiring. -- ENTp
A6 You're describing either an ISFj or an ESFp, not an ISFp. The reason for their reluctance is because they live life 100% according to the obvious. The mysterious realm of possibility and hidden light is not allowed to exist in their minds. Or else, they don't care. Or it makes them uneasy/fearful. So whatever the case, to probe them - is pointless. At least, that's my take on 'em. -- not that ENTP woman again!!!!
A7 I agree with A6 on how ISFps tend to only believe the obvious. I (an iNtuitive type) have a friend who's an ISFp and I find it hard to talk about things like common situations for example, that I intuitively judge because she would be completely oblivious to my points and I would usually get a response along the lines of "you don't know that for sure" for years. I've noticed some irritation too whenever me or someone else talk to her about something thats not foolproof. She's a good friend of mine and we do fun stuff together but there's not really a psychological closeness like I have with other friends. She's very very nice to everyone, but seems a little superficial when it comes to relations with people since she seems to avoid confrontations and conflicts at all costs lot of times... but thats just my take i dont think she assumes people wont understand her tho... -- ENFp
A8 To A6, for clarity, who are you adressing? -- Anonymous
A9 Enneagram 4. -- Anonymous
A10 Ha, you're assuming that these folks are innately rational by objective standards, which they are not. Such broad exposure of their desires would divert and thus diminish their power. Telling them to stop being so secretive is like asking them to stop breathing. They would lose their cognitive hold on reality completely, for it's how they process things, act and meet their needs. By the way, much of the online socionics literature and/or pictures has typed your "ISFP" as ISFJ. -- Anonymous
A11 I'm a ISFp. I'm also a enneagram 4. Being an enneagram 4 means feeling misunderstood is extremely painful for me. I'm pretty good at knowing who will understand me and who won't though.And if I think someone won't understand then there is no chance I'll ever open to that person. I do open up. Just not to everybody. You don't have to worry about this person. He or she will find kind-hearted understanding people to open up to. I'm sure of it. -- ISFp E4
A12 A7: I find myself often doing the same thing as your described ISFP. It's not that I find your thinking annoying but I just don't like it when people jump to conclusions about certain things without knowing for sure. And those are the key words, jump to conclusions, because in my experience, many things have gone wrong from people immediately making assumptions without evidence. Other than that, I'm willing to follow along with what you guys have to propose, because I do find them interesting. (I know quite a few enfps in real life) -- isfp
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