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Question #1228435099Thursday, 4-Dec-2008
Category: ISTp Dating Attraction
Is it common for ISTP's to be "head over heels" for someone one day and indifferent to them the next? I know an ISTP who, when we are around each other, is very sweet and even emotionally expressive. So much so, that it's kind of overwhelming! However, when plans are made he flakes out on me, even though the plans were HIS idea...is this normal? -- Anonymous
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A1 a) Being "head over heels" is not a normal state for ISTp. It is very energy draining, actually. b) ISTp is one of the most irrational P's because his motivation higly depends on how does he feels himself . His physical state, mood whatever. ISTp rarely has plans, he has intentions, desires, ideas that might be changed for something else easily. c) So being emotionally up, ISTp may make plans, but when in a state of low charge he feels very different about them. BTW what type do you consider yourself? It may explain why his behaviour is so much uneven. -- Cynic (ISTp)
A2 I'm an INTP. -- Anonymous
A3 Obviously, dating INTp is not easy for ISTp.He is in demand of the energy feed from the parnter almost the same way as you are. No surprise that his efforts to be a kind of ESFp are so exhausting for him. Also there is a noticeable difference in taking decisions between INTp and ISTp. INTp values are and , which basically means "take a firm desicion and find a proper moment for the action" while ISTp values are and which means that any new pleasing opportunity may easily cancel any previously taken desicion. -- Cynic (ISTp)
A4 Thanks for your answer. This behavior causes me to re-evaluate if he's interested or not. (I have asked before and he almost seemed surprised I needed to ask the question. He reassured me that he was) Should I take this behavior personally? The last thing I would want to do to someone is not get the "hints" to leave them alone. -- Anonymous
A5 The problem is that you both wait for the certain form of the F reaction. Also all logics are used to be supportive in a practical way. But you both do not need "logic" support. I bet he is unsure about you in a very similar way. As for plans, the best way to deal with ISTp is to ask him to dedicate a certain amount of time to you (in short-term perspective and within a flexible frame) providing few options to choose about how to use this time. -- Cynic (ISTp)
A6 Yeah people change their minds all the time and I think that is alright because when you gt bored of someone you should just give up and chase someone else down. -- Homeboy Jeffy
A7 I think it also depends on for whom ISTP is “head over heels.” I once knew an ISTP who was crazy about an ENTP. ENTP was the center if ISTP’s universe. (It was kind of pathetic, really.) But given the thrill-seeking, life-of-the-party nature of ENTP, her charming good looks and ability to attract many followers, she could pick and choose her friends at will and, at the same time, recklessly toy with those she did not like. My ISTP friend was very introverted, and so, like, low energy and, frankly, lazy. While it is true that ISTP rarely makes plans and, even if so, seldom has follow-through, it was so inspiring to watch this ISTP-ENTP dynamic. Although ENTP had no sincere interest in having any association with ISTP, she would continuously initiate contact with ISTP and then carelessly practice her uncanny, yet unqualified, gift of pseudopsychoanalysis and manipulation. And, well, ISTP would eat it up, but then miraculously take on these creative impulses, some of which ultimately became long term projects—all centered around ENTP! This relationship was very odd because, on the one hand, while ENTP seemingly hated ISTP, she was unable exercise self-control and consider mutual resolve. (It is not unlikely that the incessant prodding and ridicule had autoerotic qualities for her.) On the other hand, while ISTP was madly in-love with ENTP, he became more and more disillusioned with ENTP’s intentions and thus expressed himself in less courteous ways. Soon, what seemed to be something to smile and chuckle about in certain circles became common knowledge. And while this dynamic was very destructive to many ISTP relationships (many of which failed). A whole new set of ISTP relationships blossomed. As more and more people became curious about this odd pair, ENTP found there were so many more ISTPs out there—chewing the white gloves, frothing at the mouth, frantically masturbating—anxiously awaiting their chance to learn what pseudopsychoanalysis could do for them. -- Anonymous
A8 A7 lol, that was an interesting read, although I don't know how serious it was. Internet socionics creates the most bizarrest of conversations and texts. -- Anonymous
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