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Question #1213293461Thursday, 12-Jun-2008
Category: INFj Relationship
Hi, I started asking this in another thread, but figure it may need its own space. This question is specifically for INFjs. I'm an INFj male and, for reasons that I cannot even begin to articulate, I can instantly sense when I'm near an INFj female. I know, I know - it's not scientific and I can't prove it; it's not like she's holding up a big INFj sign (hmmmm...). But I'm utterly convinced of this - it's like when you're about to open a combination lock, and the last tumbler falls into place. It's not cognitive or cerebral, it's just a deep sense of immediate understanding. Now, I grasp that INFj/INFj relations would be subject to all of the other same type protection/baggage risks that any other same type relationship would be; so my question here isn't about whether these relationships typically work out (I figure, quite stupidly I suppose, that if you love someone it really doesn't matter what type they are). I'm just very curious to know if there are other INFjs out there who some sense an immediate, almost tribal and very sexual attraction to other INFjs (depending on your sexual orientation - I'm hetero)- and if you can just SENSE them when they're around (which hardly ever happens because there are so damn few of them). anyone? -- Anonymous
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A1 Actually, I think that I'm sometimes able to do that with a lot of the types. I took a day-long chi kung seminar (ironically!) and glanced over at someone and immediately knew she is an INTj like me, and worse, we almost look like identical twins, DESPITE the fact that I am male. I almost died of embarassment. Luckily I hadn't signed up for the next day. But I would be happy to run into her again. But back to the question, yes, I believe that something more than the five senses, or some unknown combination of some of the five senses, can detect certain types of people or certain types. The physical science just has to catch up to the fact that we can do it. And obviously, I don't need to wait for science to say that it's possible for me to do something for me to do it. BTW, my sensing types is not sexual or sexually oriented! -- econdude
A2 I'm an infj female and normally, I can sense an infj of any kind. Mainly because I can normally figure out what type someone is pretty quickly except for the infj...haha...however, although i normally feel a connection to most infjs cause we think very similarly. I normally find them a tad boring (meaning, it doesnt really bring anything majorly new to the relationship), although our conversations can be very "fun". So i guess i can say, I can be best friends with an infj but i dont think i could ever have a relationship with them -- Anonymous
A3 I've never quite felt that I was next to another type, but I am very sensitive to people's moods (I believe this is technically Fe but hear me out.) I, myself, am not emotional. In fact, I'm often described as unfeeling. However, I sometimes stand on the train platform and feel a deep sadness, turn around and realize someone is standing behind me and is extremely sad, but trying to hold it in. As for specific types, I've often had instincts upon meeting a person like "this person is bad, back away." My most often instinct, though, is "this person is weird/potentially dangerous...walk up and introduce yourself." As for specific types, I do not like grouping the people that I meet into types because my inner compass is usually better anyway. And also, how did you confirm that the woman was an INFj? I think the biggest indication of an INFj is the self-criticism which usually remains unvoiced. -- Anonymous
A4 A3 - that is very insightful. I never would have thought that INFjs are innately self-critical, because they would never tell you directly or give an outward indication of that. Perhaps this is one of the reasons some INFjs go into attack mode when subjected to even minor stress? -- econdude
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