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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1203158048 | Saturday, 16-Feb-2008 |
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| My best guy friend is an ISFP and for the past several months, I have been getting the vibe that he cares for me more than just as a friend. I really care about him, too, and recently asked him if he has ever thought about us dating, to which he replied that he definitely has but is "too busy." We are both grad students and I agree that we are busy but I don't buy that answer. I am an ESFJ and I know ISFPs prefer to communicate through actions but I don't understand why his words are inconsistent with his actions. Is this normal for ISFPs? And do you think he just said he is too busy because he panicked and wasn't sure how to respond to my question? -- kristy |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 *Correction: I referred to your guy friend as an ISFj, assuming he was an Introverted Feeler and you were using Myers-Briggs typology notation instead of Socionics. If he is a Socionics ISFp (Introverted Sensation, coupled with Extraverted Feeling) then my other posting is completely irrelevant. I'm so sorry, I'm an idiot like that sometimes!!! -- Chief Liveswithfootinmouth |
| A2 He's probably trying to work it out internally. I would guess he's trying to figure out how he feels about it and then decide whether or not it would work ...from what I've known of ISFjs, they're very loving and very loyal, but very sensitive and they tend to blame themselves when something goes wrong in a relationship. It is *very* hard to open them up and they seldom let themselves trust anyone. If this sounds like your guy, I would suggest some light prompting, showing him *through actions* that you care about him and aren't going to disappoint him or hurt him when he opens up. And give him space, because he has to work out those Introverted Feelings. Most importantly, be patient- ISFjs are well worth the wait. Good luck!!! -- Anonymous |
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| A3 I'm ISFP AND ISFp. Being an ISFP in Myers-Briggs doesn't make me ISFj in socionics because the definition of introverted and extroverted functions are different with the two systems. And as an ISFP/ISFp even though I may speak with my actions a lot my words are consistent with them. Either he's confused or he's lying. Simple as that. btw good luck! =) -- ISFP/ISFp |
| A4 And A3, you may think your words and actions are consistent, but from the 2 ISFP's I've known well, the opposite is true. -- Anonymous |
| A5 I was in a similar situation. He is probably insecure about how a dating relationship will change your friendship. He would prefer things do not change and progress too quickly. He needs lots of personal space and time to get to know you and it's very important to him that you get to know him and appreciate him for who he is. Don't push it. Just let it develop slowly and naturally. ISFP males can be very insecure about relationships. -- Anonymous |
| A6 @A5: That was good! I bet you're right! -- ISFp |
| A7 It's because he's scared. -- ENTp |
| A8 Hey everyone, thanks so much for your responses. I guess there isn't anything I can do to make him feel more comfortable besides act as I usually do and just give him time to think... right? -- kristy |
| A9 Yeah, time to process. One more piece of advice. Do not be discouraged if there are long periods of time that you do not see him, or if it seems like he never seeks your company or calls. ISFP's live so much in the moment, that anything/anyone who isn't involved in the immediate situation is an abstract concept. I suggest you seek his company by simply hanging out with him- a good relationship for an ISFP means fun, spontaneity, and unconditional caring. -- Anonymous |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
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