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Question #1203114388Friday, 15-Feb-2008
Category: Benefit and Supervision INFj Advice
My younger sister is my Supervisee and she seems to be really self-conscious when I am around. I don't like being her Supervisor and I would be happy if the strain could be released, but it seems it is not possible...I know she is intelligent and capable, but somehow without realizing it at the moment, I behave as if I underestimated her. Has anyone here been successful in relieving the stress of relation of Supervision, at least a little bit? Or do you know how to create an environment in which an INFj ([Fi] ) could feel at ease? Any idea would be much appreciated. -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 I find that sometimes when i am around someone who i care about deeply (family members in particular) i feel like i am being really stupid and i get self conscious, like when i am having fun with them i get really worrisome about what i am saying and how others percieve me. The best thing you can do is try and treat her like an equal, and when she seems self conscious, just keep acting like everything is fine, like you dont think she is being awkward... Maybe even tell her afterwards that you had a lot of fun or something, help relieve her mind, cause i dont know if this is normal INFj behaivior, but i always feel like people dont have fun with me/ i am a really awkward person to hang out with... -- INFj
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A2 That's extremely useful, thank you for your insight! -- Poster of the question
A3 if I understand it correctly, infj's can act as mirroring persons if uncertain, so maybe creating an atmosphere of ease where she can set the rules and so on is helpful, so it will be clear that you both are working for her and she looses the feeling of just trying to make things right for you. When you say, you don't like being her supervisor - well that's it - an infj immediately takes up how others feel. I guess she feels guilty, that you feel uncomfortable and doesn't know what to do. Let her be the active part for a while and you'll have clues soon, because infj's are creative. Or even better: be honest, why you don't like being her supervisor. As an infj she will be eager to find a solution for both of you. She might be hurt, so tell her how much you respect her and love her. This is what I think about it, no guarantee that I am right. But I guess warm and gentle honesty would really help. -- Anonymous
A4 Thank you both, I think the relationship has become a little better since. "INFjs can act as mirrors if uncertain" - interesting... "When you say, you don't like being her supervisor - well that's it - an infj immediately takes up how others feel. I guess she feels guilty, that you feel uncomfortable" - I wouldnt have thought something like this could be true, but I have noticed this myself, only very recently, and I didnt know what to do about it. Now I will have some clue. Thank you for the advice! -- Poster of the question
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