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Question #1195736998Thursday, 22-Nov-2007
Category: ENTj Advice
I am an ENTj. I am not very emotional, that is to say in the past, I have strategically kept my emotions inside. Despite being an ENTj I like to keep in touch with my feelings (i.e. have alone time and work out issues etc.) Recently I have found that it is more difficult to figure out how I feel about someone or something. Am I just suppressing my emotions deeper inside or is it possible "not to feel?" -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 I know a very not emotional INTj that constructed a system, which gives ratings to things according to system rules, which then tells this INTj if he likes something or not based on these ratings. Of course this is very extreme case, but maybe it is possible not to feel. -- Anonymous
A2 INTj here. Sometimes I have trouble sorting out my feelings, but it's not because I don't have them. As a thinking type, especially a Tj, I use the feeling functions less than I probably should, so when I do have some emotion that I can't rationally disect, it confuses me. We still have emotions; they're just not our forte. -- Anonymous
A3 James Baldwin wrote that contempt for someone else is really contempt for self. That would mean that love for someone else is really love for yourself. Perhaps you are too distanced from who you really are, your own opinions of yourself (reflected in your opinions of others), your true likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps you have depended more on other people's evaluations and opinions of you, rather than your own in an effort to be successful in work or personal relationships. Just a thought... -- learning
A4 thanks for your suggestions, most of the time I test ENTj, sometimes I test INTj, maybe I am leaning more to INTj and internalizing most of my thoughts and feelings. A3 mentioned something I hadn't thought of, I am definitely dealing with "What am I going to do with my life?" type issues so maybe it's effecting my emotions and relations with others. -- Anonymous
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A5 Maybe it is not "not feeling" but rather the not knowing how to express the feeling you indeed have towards yourself (if this makes sense) or to rationalize the feeling in an appropriate way, so you think you dont feel because you don't know how to think about what/how you feel. Maybe this is because feeling is not so very important for you as a personal style, making decisions on a more logical basis and preferring accuracy and facts. For me as an INFp (socionics) it is the other way around, I often am ambivalent about facts, because I don't know how to feel about them. I first have to make up my mind on an ethical (feeling) basis, then i can think about facts. Therefore, theoretically speaking, I am the nuclear physicist who would never get the idea to build an atomic bomb, because I first think on my ethical/feeling basis that I want to do good things for ppl and therefore the fact that atomic bombs can possibly be built never reaches my conscious mind, it is censored or dismissed beforehand. If someone comes at me with a new theory or idea for a new technology I first have to evaluate if it is worth something for the good of the world. There often is a dilemma, here another theoretical example: for instance nanotechnology uses up impossible amounts of materials and energy, which is bad for the ecology environment - but it sure will bring energy-saving technology in the long run. But will it be on time, will it be enough energysaving - if the fact of global warming is really given? So I don't know what to think about the fact "nanotech" or I dont feel the motivation to work at it, because i can't decide if it's "good" or "bad" on an ethical basis and the facts alone don't help me to decide this. A very non-logical approach that leads nowhere and sometimes i hate myself for that. -- Anonymous
A6 Everyone has 'F', it's just a matter of how much you pay attention to it. A strong 'T' will not pay much attention to it. Sometimes a person may fall into a mode where they feel nothing or determine that they will think rationally and not have their emotions involved in their daily lives, but my understanding of the brain is that every thought routed through the brain is emotional in some sense and then the conscious interpretation depends on the individual. -- econdude
A7 I experience F in two different ways. With Fe, it's a feeling of slight pressure to accomodate others' desires, to be socially gracious, or at least not to disadvantage myself unduly. To be honest I don't have much respect for Fe issues, but ignoring them can cause a great deal of harm - to myself and others. Who wants that? With Fi, it's not that I don't experience it strongly; it's that I don't verbalize it well. At all. It remains (mostly) invisible. -- Anonymous
A8 I can tell you right off the bat. ENTJs DESPISE "feelings" and emotions, we see them as weaknesses. Don't eat yourself for this, just know this is you and Millions others are like that, and there is NOTHING wrong about it. Just as an INFP will find "Logic" irritating and want to focus on feelings. So dude, live it out, feel what you feel and don't force yourself to feel more than you should. -- King
A9 I agree with King@A8. Be yourself, there's nothing wrong with you! -- Anonymous
A10 To elaborate a bit on King's point, you can do the things that Feeler types can't - good strong thinking - and yes unfortunately thinking is not ideal for every situation but neither is feeling - sometimes enthusiasm and ethics can not overcome the situation. As for viewing feeling types, I'd say instead of comparison and looking at emotions as despicable, look for a contribution. -- Anonymous
A11 I know an ENTJ which is exactly as King described it. Spot on. It is just that I have revealed loads of despise warranted emotions of all categories in his personality and in his inclination and approach consequences to and from this life. And still despise emotions. Which is pretty paradoxial. Obviously this despise is tied to mental selfdefence and attached to some form of insecurity issues. Not advanced rocket science so far and absolutely not that abnormal as per se, but highly amusing when comparing this phenomena with the pride in efficiency and autonomy he have in other departments of his life. I'll challenge him with this one, I tell. He's an ENTJ, he can take it. -- ENTp
A12 Im an ENTJ female and I find it so hard to understand emotional people, especially men. So annoying, why can't I find any T men?!? All that I attract are freaakin Feeling Types. I wish they'd all take their emotional selves anywhere but near me, grrrrrr *crushes air* ok seriously, I am trying REALLY hard to bend my ways to accommodate F men because, well, I have no choice, but this INFJ id brilliant *sighs* and he's fine as hell!! -- Anonymous
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