| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1174686779 | Friday, 23-Mar-2007 |
|
|
| Which type is most likely to be the victim of bullying as a child, and why? And which type is most likely to be a bully? -- david |
|
| A16 All intp's because they're gormless and infp males because they're fairies. -- Anonymous |
| A17 thanks alot! i'm an intp and was bullied mercilessly. just today some psycho named octavia watkins came up to me, shouted "C***", gave me a black eye, and ran. are all intps bully magnets? -- Anonymous |
| A18 A17 I think it's more likely but it will get better -- Anonymous |
| A19 I was being bullied in kindergarden and first schoolyears, been called names and stuff like that. I cried a lot and then I "shrank icily into myself", I could never get over those things like other kids could. It may sound weird, but it affected me very badly, so I had problems with feeling unworthy most time of my life back then. As a matured person you can rationalize anything away, a kid and maybe a teen just can't. Someone I know as a INTj had a much different problem: she was invisible to all the other kids. No matter what she did, it must have been highly pathetic for the others so they turned away. Isn't that worse? INFx -- Anonymous |
|
|
| A20 I want to tell a bit: Just this morning I saw a group of little four to five year olds, waiting for the bus. There was that big girl with heavy frame, looking sideways at two kids smaller than her, and she was looking at them with that nasty expression for just no reason at all - eyes as slits, and then she burst out: "You are just babies". One kid started crying while the other one kicked the girl and shouted back much louder: "I am NOT!" making quite the commotion and then assuring the crying kid "No we are no babies.", which stopped the tears ("No, we're not"). There was a "discussion" then betwenn bully-girl and kicking-kid, like: "Too!" - "No!" back and forth, the third kid was merely watching with terrified eyes. Until the nursery teacher interrupted, explaining to the bigger girl that she might have hurt the others feelings, which the girl didn't understand so much. Any guess who was who there? I'd say ESTp the bully girl, ISFp the crying kid and ENTp the kicking kid. -- Anonymous |
| A21 I think ENTPs and INTPs - they're the types most likely to be unapologetic geeks (which is why I made friends with them at school). I think ENTPs can become bullies as retaliation, though - and INTPs go into themselves. I got bullied as an ENFP because it was easy to hurt my feelings and I was an individualist at the same time. People tended to like me, but they also liked upsetting me - and because I cared what other people thought of me, it really got on my nerves. It gets better as you mature. I think SJs are more likely to be bullies, but that's just a guess. -- pandapanda |
| A22 @A21: all the ENFp's I was bullying, I was just bullying them back, I swear to God. Just because I "knew" it would affect them and they would learn to leave me be. One of them became my best friend then. Other extravert kids I tried to evade, because I knew, giving it back would make it worse there. As if ESTp's are immune to any reaction. You could try to shut up ESFps and ESFjs with compliments or chocolate, but that was not upon me. INFx from A19 -- Anonymous |
| A23 I would agree with A21. SJs have a certian idea of how people are "supposed" to be have and think about them. I'm an INFP, but got through high school under the wing of ESFJ friends who thought they "took" care of me. The freindships usually ended eventually because ESFJs are inasnely jealous and posessive. -- Anonymous |
| A24 I can understand why someone would bully an INTp, but to bully an ENFp? Thats just mean. -- Anonymous |
| A25 @A22, I'm surprised an ENFp would bully someone in the first place, seeing as they are an Ethical type. Was it deliberate nastiness, or just thoughtless obnoxiousness (a trait they have before they mature)? They can't stand the thought of someone hating us, that's the worst thing in the world for ENFps, so I'm not surprised that person stopped bullying you once you retaliated. And @A24, people bully ENFps just because they're emotional, and they look 'funny' when they're upset. People do this to ISFXs too, well into adulthood - but with ENFps it's mainly when they are children. They get a thicker skin as they get older and learn not to show how upset they are, or they learn to come back with an ENTp style retort. I try to stay calm if someone's getting to me. -- pandapanda |
| A26 I was put down and criticized by mostly guys as a teen. infp female -- Anonymous |
| A27 A17: Why didnt you chase her and hit her back? -- ESFp |
| A28 It's not about type it's about size. Male kids who are muscular and sometimes male kids who are fat bully and pick on male kids who are skinny and sometimes fat male kids with low self confidence. Typically the bully looks for a victim with low self confidence because the more confident smaller kids generally have older siblings or are popular enough to have larger male popular friends who will have their back. The unconfident skinny guys and sometimes the unconfident fat guys don't have anyone to back them up and can't fight for themselves so they get picked on and harrased by bigger and stronger kids. -- Anonymous |
| A29 A27. 1. that witch had several other people to help beat the crap out of me(about 2 people were holding me back). 2. She was pregnant (like that witch could keep her damn legs closed to save her life). rumor has it that the baby daddy is a 50 something married man. ppl like her never change, they get older, uglier, and fatter until they drop dead from a brain embolism at 52. -- Anonymous |
A30 A27: How Se of you.  I was picked on as a kid, but not physically. I was a bully as an adolescent, but I'm weak Se. I was also abused briefly as a child, so maybe it wasn't innate? I picked on guys, who didn't fight back; but I did get into a few "light" matches with guys, too (nothing like throwing punches and such). One of the guys I picked on (who happened to be my best friend) was a probable Se-creative who (ironically) once offered to beat on someone for me.  But that was for personal reasons. -- Kanerou |
| A31 A29- You must be really bitter to expose that woman's name online like that. What do you suppose her type is? -- Anonymous |
| A32 esfp-even though she really mean to ppl. -- Anonymous |
| A33 A29: I see. What a situation... I was sometimes picked on as a child but I usually hit back, thats why I wrote my note. Its hard to believe she could be an ESFp, as we want to get along with most people, basically. Just would like to assure you that we usually are cheerful, friendly and shy. Though some ESFps are aggressive, too, they usually soon learn how to get rid of that aggressivity in some sort of sport. But as a matter of fact, there are weird people in every type... -- ESFp |
| A34 Well I am a ENFj, and I was bullied in jr. high quite a bit (still think jr high sucks). Infact it actually seriously supressed my E tendiencies so much that I became quite withdrawn and at times sullen, and angry. I actually snapped at one point and got into quite a serious fight, with me going ape **** on this one kid who had been a constant pain. It improved when I changed schools and I wasn't picked on, so my confidence improved and my jovial nature came out. -- ChadZed |
| A35 I'm an infp girl and was bullied emotionaly mainly by guys. Who would try to cut my self esteem down to size by talking crap bout me. teenage years was very confusing time 4 me. -- Anonymous |
| A36 IXFX = victim I= (outcast of some sorts) F= (the reaction the bully is looking for) ENXX = bully E = (good at getting people to be around you) N= (they just know how this person will act) That would be the most I could narrow it down to type -- Anonymous |
| A37 I'm an ENTJ apologies to the INFP's if you were ever a vitcim of ENTJ bullying but i was always the shy kid in school i never really did any bullying more often was the case that i was bullied -- Anonymous |
| A38 INFp when i was a kid. bullied by an ISTj and her cronies, my supposed 'friends' (we were all in the same 'gang'). The crew included an ISFj. i don't understand how a morally conscientious person such as an ISFj could let herself go along with such a sick devious plan (they chose to ignore me, and basically pretend like i didn't exist). Maybe she played along to save her own neck. But I got the feeling that she even agreed with the bullying treatment. I think they did it to me b/c I had casually boasted about having a large vocabulary (stone her to death, off with her head! this was in yr 6 btw), and also b/c i basically didn't fit the ISTj's notions of what a human being 'should' be like, or something. But i know i definitely didn't deserve it. Am still in contact with these ppl (we went through high school in the same school). The ISTj seems to have undergone some deep character changes, because now she's really civil towards me. Although i still sense this underlying lack of sympathy for others. I think the change is to do with her having a long term boyfriend (don't know his type, but looks like an xxFj). She seems to have softened over the years. The ISFj though, although a very moral person nowadays, seems to have no recognition of the events of yesteryear. and no guilt about the affair, despite the damage it caused. ISFj's can be damn cold bitches. B/c they are very emotionally thick skinned, they seem to expect that others should be the same, which simply isn't the case, and they fail to see this reality and soften up a bit in their treatment of others. Instead they choose to apply more pressure, hoping to 'force' their 'victim' to harden up. This is the tactic my mother (an ISFj) took with me. i have to say though, although the bullying caused me a lot of bitterness, pain, damages to my self-esteem and social confidence, emotional turmoil, etc, one good thing (and perhaps the only good thing) to come out of it was that it's made me somewhat indifferent to bullies. i don't think i could let myself go through that sort of thing again. i should have just walked away from the very beginning, instead of clinging to the gang like a hopeless, dependent loser. The only person in the gang who didn't bully me was an INTj, who actually informed me (in a very nonsympathetic, businesslike manner) of some nasty things the ISTj was saying behind my back about me. Also, by that time, she had left the gang for 'greener pastures' (other friendship groups). I'm glad she had enough moral conscientiousness to not join in the bullying and to tell me the truth, but had i been in her position, had our positions been reversed i mean, i would have defended her. Is this an INTj thing - to not defend a friend who is being attacked? I concede that my former INTj friend might not have thought me that much of a friend. -- S |
| A39 @A38 - An INTj may want to defend a friend who is being attacked, but we are not very good at it. Weak Se and all that. So unless you're a really close friend who's earned our loyalty, an INTj usually prefers to just steer clear of the whole mess. Which seems to be what your INTj friend did. -- Krig (INTj) |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
|
| Would you like to add anything? |
(
