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Question #1148581125Thursday, 25-May-2006
Category: ISFj ENTp ENTj Relationship
My former wife was an ISFJ with an extreme emphasis on S. I am an ENTP or an ENTJ, with an emphasis on N, but not as extreme as my former wife's S. Were we doomed from the beginning? please respond to Thanks. -- scott albers
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A1 hey i would really liek to answer your question. i am the way ..exactly as your wife. and my boyfriend is werent doomed ..if you think are married...and you do love. dont let ur mind get in the way of your heart. sometimes its hard because your head is stronger.i know me adn my boyfriend are so differnt.but if your not you have nuthing to put together to make sence together.oppisites attract. because anyone with the same outlook is nice to talk to but gets boring cuz u already no how they think. you need to have differnt surroundings around you. but she is sensing and if she senses liek me ..i see sad mad and all emotions in anyones eyes.and even if you dont think she dont see you or no what ur thinkin reality..she can see straight threw you..and wants affection.. but nos ur ways and dont hold them against you..cuz you are your own person. you werent doomed ..your just both differnt.and thats fine. -- -ashton
A2 im sorry the only differnce between me and her extrovert and thats it ..but it changes things a little but nuhting from what i told you...that was my mistake..but its just shes more kept...but from what i told had nuthing to do with that it had to do with ur realitionship..and how u saw it..and puttin things together. -- -ashton
A3 suppose that she really IS an ISFj, then if you're an ENTj, she should be your dual. it's not guranteed that marriage with your dual will work out, but odds of it falling apart is relatively low. on the other hand, if you're an ENTp, you form a conflicting relationship with your ISFj wife. you guys will find it hard to get your ideas through one another. the marriage will likely be rocky. not sure why you guys get married in the first place. i think NTs don't rush into marriages generally because we're talking about a long term commitment here. so i would assume that you thought you two could communicate. if so, you are more likely an ENTj than an ENTp. there's no such thing as a marriage being doomed from the beginning, IMO. socionics might help you find the causes but won't be able to give you the complete picture. -- an entp.
A4 I'm ENTJ, happily married for 7+ years now to my ISFJ dual. We hardly ever have disagreements, have never had a serious fight, and it's because we have great communication. That, and we've never been plagued by the financial woes known to break up most marriages... -- BD
A5 I was in a very serious relationship with an ISFj. Believe me, it doesn't always look like it's going to fall apart. I truly, truly believed that we were one day going to get married and that we would always be together. But we just couldn't get our messages across, and even when we could, they weren't satisfactory. At all. I can definitely imagine "faking" behaviour, talking to each other enough that you are "trained" how to meet each other's needs, leading to a marriage situation, but most probably it was bound to fall apart after awhile. It sounds like Conflicting Relations to me. By the way, I love the vulnerability in A4's comment; A4, you totally exposed your H.A. That's awesome. -- Anonymous
A6 Dear A5 What does H.A. stand for? Thanks -- Anonymous
A7 @A6: A socionics term known as hidden agenda. -- INTp
A8 I have noticed with ISFj females that the start of the relationship (non-romantic, in my instances) are cordial but dealing with anything but business leaves us nothing to talk about. Not to mention how a bossy ISFj can be totally irritating. Your post made me think that ISFjs can get wrapped up in the here and now and develop an overdependence on their sensing function which makes iNtuitive topics and people uninteresting to them. I would not recommend marrying your opposite temperament, if I may go so far, but a relationship of two opposites is not automatically doomed to failure either. -- econdude
A9 ISFj's act like that when they don't get sufficient appreciation for their efforts. Now, are you sure she was an ISFj and not an ISTj? Because ISTj's tend to be more heartless, logical and straight up, in comparison to the ISFj's -- Anonymous
A10 No, my mother is an isfj and my father is an entj and they have have a wonderful marriage that has lasted over 20 years. -- ENTp
A11 You are most likely an ENTp, and she seems like she has no intuition because your conscious intuition is her PoLR. An ENTj, on the other hand, wouldn't see this as quite important, because they would observe the responses the ISFj has to Ni as opposed to Ne. On her side, because her ethics is your PoLR, you seem like an extremely emotionless/noncaring/unethical person. An ISFp, your dual, on the other hand, would notice the responses to Fe, and not see you as emotionless. -- [Ti][Ne]
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