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Question #1138922429Thursday, 2-Feb-2006
Category: ENFj Marriage
I'm a male ENFJ, with many types around me as potential patners, and searching for a wife among them. Which type do you consider best for me? -- Justus Murokore
Your Answers: 1+ 27+
A1 Ideally, an ISTJ would be best. -- Anonymous
A2 According to socionics theory, ISTJ female is the best option for a life partner. -- f.
A3 ISTj is considered the best type for you. However, other relatively good ones are from your quadra (Beta), and possibly your look-alike (ENTj). However, don't rely on Socionics alone to be the sole decision-maker for your marriage. Even people with bad socionic relations (take my dad, ESTp, and my mom, ISFj for example) can have a great marriage. Good luck! -- Krauss (ESTp)
A4 Acutally the ESTP of the beta quadrant will emphasize the ENFJ's ES functions making them spend money and perhaps use drugs and eat lousy food. An ISFJ would protect the ESTP rather than teaching him the pleasure of a more wholistic lifestyle. which would result in a symbiotic relationship. ESTP ISFJ is probably an addict and an adult child of an addict combination. The ENFJ looking for marriage is already an indicator that they dual with a guardian...ONLY someone looking for marriage would pair with a guardian. SP elements do not set out in life with this approach. -- Tracy
A5 I am a female ENFJ and I'm very confused myself!!! I have this ENTJ boyfriend but I'm not sure if I should marry him... He tries very hard to be nice but just sometimes he doesn't understand my feelings and it is very annoying! -- Helen
A6 I am an ISFP in a long distance relationship with an ENFJ and we hope to get married as she said she will marry me. I believe ENFJ and ENFP are the only 2 types I would want to marry. ENFJ is probably the best. I need an extroverted woman who is outwardly feeling and intuitive is good also because it complements me. I love how she is extroverted feeling and has strong morals. She is more take charge than me which also complements me. I wish more people would consider ENFJ and ISFP together but from sites like this I do not see it mentioned. The personalitypage.com website says we make one of the best couples. I do not believe in dual marriage relationships for myself no matter what anyone says.I say that because that seems to be the argument for why I never see it mentioned. I also like how she wants to be committed to me and wants our relationship defined. And I like how she calls me. -- Anonymous
A7 Hold everything. True Jungian theory indicates that you should marry your opposite. If you're an ENFJ, you should marry an ISTP. That's how it works. I believe something is wrong with the duality depiction applied to marriage. -- Jack
A8 On a site I went to, they listed INFP's as a good match for ENFJ's. I looked at my opposites and didn't like any of them. They didn't have the same values that I did; they valued wealth, success, and material possessions; I want to be a missionary. You can see how this might be a little problematic. -- -dr
A9 According to Socionics a person's dual, their functional opposite, makes the best match. Nevertheless, most dating sites follow the theory that ultimately you will get along best with a person who is similar to yourself -- shared outlook. My own opinion is that a relationship between any two people can work if each is willing turn a blind eye (and a helping hand) toward the other's faults. -- Anonymous
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A10 @A9 Willing to turn a blind eye? You talk like it is not a big deal. I want to see you turning blind eye on a pair of tight boots when you have to walk for a few miles. That what it is like living with an incompatible type. It irritates the living day out of you! -- Dr. Zoidberg
A11 @A10 My dear Zoidberg, you're talking to someone who is twice divorced. I know about difficult relationships, still a little compassion goes a long way. -- Anonymous
A12 Yo, A8, the site you probably went to was an MBTI site where INFP would actually indicate a Socionics INFj type ( ). From what I understand, INFj's would make great missionaries and might complement you very well. -- Anonymous
Moderator's comment
There is no straight forward conversion between MBTI and Socionics types, each case is individual.
A13 How many is many? Where around you is this surplus of girls at? I have got to know. Just date the ones you like. How many have you dated so far? -- Tom
A14 I am an enfj married to an estp and we have been married for 11 years. I can not lie it has been hard work and if I didn't have such high morals I would have left.However I have three beautiful children together, and believe that we should stick together. The information I read was so accurate about myself and him. I wish I would have known about his years ago. -- lrb
A15 I think that so many people get together and then end up staying together due to practicallity. Perhaps dual relations really are the ones that stand the test of time, with what really is 'true love' although they are not the easiest to start with -- An istp
A16 I think INTP females would be good candidates for ENFJ, because INTP females are interesting and warmly encouraging, and forgiving enough to add and produce change in bad behavior. The INTP can give to the ENFJ a sense of artistic and/or open-minded inquiry, however, ENFJs are essentially conformist types, and he will sometimes expect more or at least want more of the ESFJ conformist presentation in society that more convential women can give him. But as always, there will always be a conflict between a J person and a P person now matter which type is with which type. Ps don't hassle other Ps, they know not to. Js run into other Js with time urgency and scheduling but probably like the consistency of another J. On the other hand, Ps looking for direction sometimes like Js to make decisions, but the usually want the J to listen to their Open-Options and Open-Angles" style BEFORE they snap decision make. In addition, sometimes two Ps can get a little frustrated with eachothers, LACK, of decision making, and mind changing producing a feeling that the other P, doesn't know whats up, which is usually the case regretably. In essence, two Ps, won't hassle eachother too much, and it will be more comfortable, but they have a difficult time, well, sticking to things because they see so many different roads to go. Js, sometimes are so THIS WAY or THAT WAY, and make immediate rigid decisions when they have not looked at alternatives. Both of my parents were Js. They make snap judgements about alot of things, Ps tend to be wishy washy, RUMINATING TOO LONG on decisions, if Js could listen to the OPTIONS unjudgementally, and CONSIDER the feelings, wishes, desires and intellect and goals, of Ps, in work, school and play to where everyone is happy and satisfied and producing, then things in the world would be much better. Also, to Jack, there is NO WAY IN HELL that an ENFJ female would be Totally happy with an ISTP male. ENFJs are too conventional for an introverted sensing perceiver. -- Vanice the ENFP
A17 hold the phone-i am an 55 yr old esfj and married to a intp, who has left the marriage twice. she wants me in her life but does not want the commitment. she cannot get close in any way, it drives me nuts being a feeling person. esfj stay away from the intp-----please-run for the hills. -- Anonymous
A18 I am an INFJ. My boyfriend is an ENFJ - we're perfect together. That whole marrying your opposite theory is warped. -- Anonymous
A19 A well balanced INTp and a mature ENFJ would be perfect together. The ENFJ would provide just the right amount of structure without insisting that there way is the only way. -- INTp
A20 Don't ever marry your opposite!! My mother is an enfj and my dad is an istp...and they argue everyday. They hav not been sleepin in the same bed for 7 years!! -- Anonymous
A21 Well, to be fair, I have seen a successful enfj and istp marriage and they both professed to be happly married for a decade and still going. Perhaps maturity and the love for each other conquers everything else. However, my personal experience with enfjs, not so good. -- istp
A22 I am happy to say that I, an INFP, am the most compatible person for you. Ok, so maybe I'm married..... but in all seriousness, an INFP female is the most compatible with an ENFJ male. Your polar opposite is no good UNLESS (and in the extreme unlikelihood) both of you are very mature and "evolved" within your personalities. I'm married to my polar opposite, an ESTJ, and we argue about almost everything because our perspectives differ on almost everything. And I surely would not profess that either of us are highly evolved within our personality types. If not an INFP, I think anyone with that "NF" component would be good for you. You'd at least be with another idealist. And if you don't believe me, go date an ISTP for a good year, come back, and share your horror stories so I can say I told you so -- Anonymous
A23 I am an enfj who was married to an estp for 13years and had 4 kids! However it was aweful I couldn't take it anymore! He was irresponsible and I was basically single parenting anyways so I finally with god on my side left! I have now found a new relationship with an infp and what a difference! My kids and I are much happier our needs are being met and I have a real relationship! Estp and enfj should never be together! And whoever says their morals keep them stuck in that hell don't believe that jesus died for our sins and wants us to have a life full of abundant living! And for me that was just surviving! I hope to A14 u find happiness! But love shouldn't be that hard! -- les
A24 I'm an INFp or ENFj married to an ISTp. We get along in many fundamental ways on account, at least in part, of us being Betas. Other than that though, it's a bust. Daily living is either distant and cold or heated(as in, deathly so). -- Anonymous
A25 ISTp is not a beta, ISTj is. ISTp is in your opposing quadra, delta, you can't have two Ip's in one quadra. you're super ego or conflicting. for the record i'm an INFp dating an ISTp for 4 years and we get along okay, some days better than others. -- Anonymous
A26 I think some people here are talking about MBTI and others are talking about Socionics... -- Anonymous
*Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com*
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