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| Question #1124941912 | Thursday, 25-Aug-2005 |
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| What could you recommend to ENTP (wife) person to adjust to/ influence the behaviour of INTP (husband)? It seems that INTP is reluctant to take any kind of responsibility and simply goes with the flow most of the time which is very harmful for the family.. -- N |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 Present him with problems to solve. -- H -- an INTP |
| A2 Actually, this is pretty simple. We could dance around with type and relations theory and try to figure out the "best" psychological way to solve the problem; but the best way is to keep it simple, direct, and realistic. As an INTp myself, I can understand why an INTp would want to dodge responsibilities - we often just want to be in our little introverted world of comfort preoccupied with our own thoughts on life, the universe, and everything. However, responsibility is responsibility. Everyone must face it no matter what type one is. Now, I don't know exactly what responsibilities you are actually referring to; but, since you think they are something you think your husband needs to be taking care of, you are going to have to confront him on what he needs to be doing. Just be direct and clear in telling him what habits he needs to change. -- Muggwomp - INTp |
| A3 Don't confront him directly. An INTp can't handle this sort of pressure well, this will make everything worse. You have to convince him by facts and reasoning. -- T - INTp |
| A4 Forget facts and reasoning. He is weak, and you are strong. As an ENTP, you thrive on enthusiasm, and all INTP's do is shoot down other's ideas. You can forget about them coming up with a better solution to a problem, all they seem to know how to do is find holes. Personally, i would tell my spouse that he needs to man-up and actually do something. I would tell him that it is not ok to be a passenger in the road of life. And as far as A3 goes, that is the wimpiest thing i think i have ever heard. Maybe a little pressure is the only thing that will cause the individual's strenths to blossom. -- im better |
| A5 "Don't confront him directly. An INTp can't handle this sort of pressure well, this will make everything worse. You have to convince him by facts and reasoning. - T - INTp" As an INTp myself, I disagree. Sometimes a little pressure is what is needed to light the fire under the horse. When confronting him, she could use facts and reasoning (in fact, I would advise it). Confronting doesn't necessarily mean being a bitch. Yes, he may not like it. He may go into his introverted world of self-pity. But... Oh well. Poor baby. Or he could listen like an adult and take responsibility. "As an ENTP, you thrive on enthusiasm, and all INTP's do is shoot down other's ideas. You can forget about them coming up with a better solution to a problem, all they seem to know how to do is find holes." Ok, I can't let this one go. This is complete BS. As an INTp, I know I don't spend my whole time with people shooting down their ideas. However, I will gladly shoot down your statement about INTp's, as it is close minded and stereotypical thinking. Now, are there INTp's out there that are like that? You bet. But there are worst case stereotype individuals out there for every type, such as the ENTp. I've been around a couple of ENTp's who were totally immature, egotistical, and enthusiastic only for themselves. They would smear others' reputations to try and make themselves look "cooler", only to have it backfire and in the end lose a bunch of friends. On the other hand, I've been around ENTp's that are intelligent, creative, and quite fun. So, here is my solution for you (Holy cow! The INTp is offering you a solution!) Be more open minded and judge people not by their type, but on an individual basis. I do however, agree with the rest of your answer (Holy cow! The INTp is agreeing with you!). The guy needs to get off his butt and take care of his responsibilities. -- Muggwomp AKA , I'm bestest - INTp |
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| A6 I am not sure this is relevant, but reading the first post and the previous answers, it might be. MBTI's INTP and Socionics' INTp are VERY different in style and personality. MBTI's INTPs strike me as quite indecisive indeed, but about Socionics' INTps I cannot say the same. Perhaps they need time to reach conclusions and they will reject things they do not see the point of, but avoiding to take responsability... that's sort of hard to believe. -- voot (ENFp) |
| A7 Show the INTP how he can benefit from changing. Also if what he does or say makes you feel bad, tell him. Be sincere, INTP's do care how people feel about them. Also, when they are afraid to lose someone, they do a complete turnaround. So maybe you might have to give him an ultimatum. -- Anonymous |
| A8 As there is a biological basis for personality type, to excessively demand that an INTP act like an ENTP on a regular basis would wreak serious havoc on the INTP's psyche and compensatory behavior. While everyone can grow and learn to develop weaknesses, your partner cannot nor ever will be you - not even close. ENTPs especially need to understand that's "normal/healthy" for themselves is not "normal/healthy" for everyone. What you consider regular responsibility may involve significantly more assertiveness, quick decision-making on important issues, and physical energy for tasks than an INTP can normally muster, without overcompensating in opposite ways (e.g., idealism, familiarity, physical comfort). Remember no one can be all things to you and reaffirm INTPs strengths that attracted you to him initially. Use your strengths which come so easily to you for the benefit of your partner and the household rather than criticize him for not being you. -- anonymous |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
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