Socionics Personals
Male
Straight
16-25
South America
Leo
INFp
Male
Straight
36-45
Asia
Aries
XSFp
Male
Straight
16-25
Western Europe
Aquarius
ENTj
Join now!


Questions & Answers
Question #1120066417Wednesday, 29-Jun-2005
Category: Advice Relationship Intertype Relations Parenting
I have a real live problem. Imagine an ISFp mother and a ESTj male child (3 years old). The problem is that she have many problems with that child and can't get along with him. He is very inteligent child and can trick her into everything he wants. I found that emulating INFj gives peace to him, but he keeps control! I also found, that emulating Te can give some good results (he lost control). The problem is that ISFp mother finds hard to emulate Te so the child takes "control". Of course this is very bad situation, becouse 3 year old child giving orders, blaming adults takes very very bad impression. My question is, what ISFp mother can do? -- false
Your Answers: 1+
A1 There is a series on BBC3 which is called "Little Angels". The series offers help and advice to families experiencing difficulties with their children. Clinical psychologist Dr Tanya Byron shows the mums and dads how they can improve their parenting techniques. The problem described could just be a generic problem, which could be resolved without the need for any quantochemical typophisimathics. Those clinical psychologists can surprisingly have an impressive trick or two up their sleeves. -- Admin
A2 Thank you for your answer. Yes, you are right, the problem is generic, but the mother is in bad position (ISFp/ESTj) and this makes problem harder to solve. Parenting in that "inverted parent - child relation" is very very hard. ISFp mother has no more patience for him and he does not consider her as authority becouse he clearly sees her as a weaker person. And this is very visible. Yes, impressive tricks are needed here, something effecient witch does not requies a lot of energy from mother. Emulating Te is not a quantochemical typophisimathics but just speaking diffrent language and this can improve communicating a lot. But ISFp is too shy to give orders... Her fighting methods are destructive to him and here so there are tears on both sides. Child is confused, mother is nervous. She need a trick witch will make her stronger in eyes of an ESTj child. Mayby someone have something? Lately, she made a schedule for him and some duties and on weekeens, he spends time with an ENTj grandmother. But it is visible that he acts like he had no mother and develops by himself from observing world. It is very hard for ISFp mother to teach something an ESTj child. I'll check that BBC3 series. I would like to know, haw can relation between an ISFp mother and an ESTj chind can be improved? Any sugestions? -- false
A3 C'mon Mom, The tyke is only three. His type (along with the rest of his personality) is not fully developed yet. You got plenty of room to shape the little guy. Further, even if I'm completely wrong here and he's a little tin solider where type is concerned, you're still the parent. Hint: Your authority trumps intertype relations every time! My own mother is an MB ISFJ. I am naturally (probably) INFP, but my mom's influence on my development was such that 50% of the time for any given MB test I will show up as ISTJ, and the other 50% as INTJ. This effect is most likely because both of my parents, and both of my maternal grandparents were SJs. That notwithstanding my mother was told by some shrink when I was a kid that I "spent too much time fantasizing and that I needed 'structure'..." After that I became my mom's project. She worked to mold me into her own image and succeeded to a very large extent. -- metroGnome, the ostensible INTj
Bookmark and Share

A4 Get a routine in order and be consistent all the time. -- ESTJ Female
*Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com*
Page 1
Would you like to add anything?
(When posting, we ask you to make the effort to qualify your opinions.)



Name: (leave blank for "Anonymous")

Related
 
10 Most recent
By category
All questions
Submit a question