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  #1  
Old 06/08/2009, 09:14 AM
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ArielPink ArielPink is offline
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Default To Extinguish or not to Extinguish?

I am a ESFP/SEE Ethical subtype and my boyfriend is a ISFP/SEI Sensing subtype. We have been together for about 2 months now and i have been making strict observations to see how, exactly, our contrary/extinuishing realtions would unfold. We haven't any arguments or anything which is great, but for some reason with this type, I can't seem to voice my frustrations if I feel something they say/do bothers me. I mean, I feel we have been getting closer and closer every weekend we see eachother and everything is pretty peachy now. Lately I've noticed that when we are around other people...sure enough, he either pretends i simply do not exist or will make pokes at me and I'm never sure to know why, just that maybe he's trying to look cool in front of others. And I have noticed with my ISFP best friend that when we were younger, i would make fun of her/ show of my strong side...which is something I've made a note to myself to NOT do with my ISFP boyfriend... Basically what I'm trying to ask is if anyone else has had experience in this area or any advice to give me would be much appreciated. Also, if there are any ISFP males out there willing to give me advice as to how to approach an ISFP with any kind of confrontation...without it being really uncomfortable for me or them....sorry I couldn't wrap this up better, but you know how ESFPs talk with a "spiderweb" approach. haha
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Old 08/08/2009, 07:26 PM
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Get him into socionics then you can have conversations about your intertype relationship style. It will creating the perfect opportunity for you to raise some of the things that are annoying you in an indirect manner. And give him the chance to discuss anything that's bothering him.
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Old 09/08/2009, 01:49 AM
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Teach him socionics and then dump him so you both can go find your duals lol
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Old 09/08/2009, 08:41 PM
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ArielPink ArielPink is offline
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Originally Posted by JWC3 View Post
Teach him socionics and then dump him so you both can go find your duals lol
hahaha, yes the idea of teaching him about socionics/our relations has crossed my mind...(I have introduced a lot of information on his type to him as well as my own from socionics/wikisocion.com) but I felt that if i was too obvious in pointing out our contrary relations that it would make things weird or make me look like "oh this is what it says our relations will be like, so thats what it has to be like" or would put negative outlooks on our relationship as it has a little for me. Of course I firmly believe that socionics is a wonderful tool to work with different people or be more considerate of others' feelings and has given me great insight..but I think that sometimes I take it a little too literal and the thought of us being "contrary" leaves a bad taste in my mouth. BUT I would still like some more insight from people
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