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Old 20/07/2010, 08:11 AM
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nahbee1235 nahbee1235 is offline
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Default ESFp-INTp dualization

So, how is it supposed to happen??


Do you guys *really* think an ESFp could be satisfied with anyone, even their dual??

*sigh*

Quote:
Sometimes you can be very touchy and react negatively to inoffensive remarks, making relations between you and others difficult.
I mean REALLY how is this supposed to happen when we are so, so hot-tempered. I know that I fly off the handle easily.. I think I was hanging out with an INTp this evening, and I left in tears. I recall telling him to forget ever seeing me again, and he kept saying he didn't do anything, blah blah blah, and as I was walking out the door, he held his arms out and when I rejected him, he said "not even a hug?".

WTF. He wouldn't, in his words, "get himself in between me & his friend". I said he was a jerk, and that he choose bros before hoes. He said " no, it's not like, I just don't want to hear stuff about my friend". I said "so you're choosing your friend over me". He's said, "I told you stop talking about this, because I knew it would end up like this, blah blah blah." I said, "All he (his friend) had to do was say 'I'm sorry, and thanks for the pens' ".

What really pissed me off was that he wouldn't agree that his friend should apologize. He said "just give it some time." and I said "I've given it enough time. Am I supposed to wait forever for an apology and a thank you?"


pfffft.... it's been a loooong day..
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Old 21/07/2010, 03:32 PM
Cyclops Cyclops is offline
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I honestly don't think this sounds like an Fi type of way of dealing with things, but it sounds like an Fe dominant way of dealing with things...lots of external emotions from you.

I do think that ESFj is a possible. I had a look at your pics again, tbh, you look a bit like Linda Park!
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Old 21/07/2010, 05:31 PM
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nahbee1235 nahbee1235 is offline
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uhhh... trust me, I'm NOT an ESFj. or an ISFp. I've encountered both ENTp's & INTj's in my life... and no. not ever would I consider a relationship of ANY sort with them. well, maybe an ENTp...

and the new guy I'm getting cozy with is DEFINITELY an ENTj. He's amazing, I think everyone should have an ENTj around. I had no money and very little gas in my car when we went to Sonic to get some food. I thought he might be uncomfortable in the summer heat while we waited for our food, so I turned the car back on to cool us down. He turned the A/C off and said I shouldn't run my car. I was like, "oh". and so I turned the car off.

oh, oh, oh... here's a really sweet thing he did recently. so we got into an argument of sorts, which lead to me being in tears. He APOLOGIZED (amazing, I know), but I was still a little hurt. So I drove him back to his place and he was like "well, I guess this means I'll never see you again" and I said "that's not true..why do you say that?" and he replied "'cause I guess I'm a jerk"... anyway, I didn't have any gas (again...) and as I drove off, I saw that he had left a 5 dollar bill on a cup holder. OMG, I was like... how sweet...

Whenever I'm in a bad mood, he'll do whatever he can to take me out of it... it doesn't always work, but omg is it endearing...
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Old 21/07/2010, 06:16 PM
Cyclops Cyclops is offline
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Hmmm, you seem very emotionaly volatile to be ESFp, perhaps i'm wrong.

Quote:
I mean REALLY how is this supposed to happen when we are so, so hot-tempered. I know that I fly off the handle easily.. I think I was hanging out with an INTp this evening, and I left in tears. I recall telling him to forget ever seeing me again
Quote:
oh, oh, oh... here's a really sweet thing he did recently. so we got into an argument of sorts, which lead to me being in tears. He APOLOGIZED (amazing, I know), but I was still a little hurt. So I drove him back to his place and he was like "well, I guess this means I'll never see you again" and I said "that's not true..why ...
Also, your emotions change very quickly, at least based upon what you write,

Quote:
Whenever I'm in a bad mood, he'll do whatever he can to take me out of it... it doesn't always work, but omg is it endearing
I'm pretty sure Jung mentioned this as characteristic of leading Fe types. At least it's dynamic and extraverted.

...................................

My impression is that you're dead cert on not being an ESFj, and I'm almost tempted to suggest this sort of perfectionism is a manifestation of Ne HA. BTW, maybe these ENTps and INTjs are jerks, and/or maybe you've mistyped them. You've changed your typings on people you know quite quickly and ... drastically. I don't think there's anything wrong with this, but you'll forgive me if I expect it to change again, somewhat like your emotions.

I wanted to paint my case more so I made this post. Either way, take it or leave it. I don't want you to take it personally, simply thought you were owed an explanation, wanted to explain myself, so I decided to write one. ESFj or not, i'll keep an open mind, and I enjoy reading your posts so it doesn't matter either way.

Maybe keep an open mind yourself too, unless you really have decided, and for all I know you're right. .
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Old 21/07/2010, 09:30 PM
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from http://www.socionics.com/prof/esfp.htm
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When interacting with others, ESFps openly demonstrate their real feelings towards others. However their feelings are very flexible and changeable.
Also, I think any type can come to deny that they are a certain type. This has nothing to do with perfectionism, but rather with confidence. For instance, you Cyclops are pretty certain that you are not an EXFj. In fact, as a self-professed ISTp, you would probably argue forever that you are not such. Does that hint at some kind of perfectionism? I think not.
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Old 21/07/2010, 10:17 PM
Cyclops Cyclops is offline
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OK I'm not trying to fight with you so cut the crap please.

Fair enough i'll explain: re me, I'm quite happy to listen to other suggestions about my type - correction: I have been, as in the past I've explored other options on the forum. 2. I'm not the one who's constantly changing peoples types, my own nor do I feel I'm still at the early stages of learning socionics... you've said yourself in the space of the last few days you're still learning this. 3. I'm not interested in an emotional tangle, hear me out or don't...well you haven't really.

BTW - type descriptions aren't meant to be taken in snippets, and ESFps don't display their emotions in the way you describe, I think that part you quote is *S* - Se related not *Fi*, and an understanding of the dichotomies and functions lends this to us, which I'm under no interest in providing you at present. Can you imagine Paul McCartney acting like you? No. Bjork or Gerry Halliwell? Of course.

BTW maybe it would be good if we could use snippets of type descriptions, but part of that problem is that they're not written by S.

Oh - me being a perfectionist, this isn't about my type, it's about yours so your point is meaningless to me, anyway i've always been willing to listen to sensible reasons, and your reaction makes me think twice about helping you in future..or at least trying, ... or maybe I've got it wrong.. It seems to me an Fe based response, based on nothing connected with the facts nor Fi.

Point is..to answer your question..maybe ESFp duality won't work for you cause you're not ESFp!

Last edited by Cyclops; 21/07/2010 at 10:19 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 21/07/2010, 10:21 PM
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felafel felafel is offline
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Um, just to address the ESFp description and add some of my experience w/this type: their feelings are changeable, but, imo & ime, not in the way you described in the first couple of posts.

Chances are, if ESFp feelings over a person/situation change, you may not even know it! They aren't exactly into outward expression of the way they feel. They can hint at it and re-adjust the psychological distance between themselves and the other party, might even be explicit about it, or just apply some pressure and make things uncomfortable for the other person - breaking down and crying over apologies isn't exactly thier gig.

Also, ime, INTp will not stand for most kinds of drama/crying/emotional reaction. Maybe if sth major is at stake, perhaps, but not *usually*. This guy you described seems pretty chill with it and appears able to handle it just fine

I also suggest Fe-valuing quadra for you. I'm not sure though as i don't really know you, but feel free to ignore if you think it's way off

Just my 2 cents
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Old 21/07/2010, 10:31 PM
Cyclops Cyclops is offline
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Yeah, to re-iterate, an ESFps feelings - more like desires change due to being S driven..they *want* things now, but this is not reflected in their Fi..that's a separate matter.

We already know you're S nahbee, but also Fe and BTW... no Fe PoLR could be comfy with your natural way of expressing emotion.

Sorry if you don't like this..but I feel I've explained myself adequately and I've also no intention of forcing the issue. Maybe you'll apologise to me over your attacking defensiveness?
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Old 22/07/2010, 02:17 AM
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itinerant_stapler71 itinerant_stapler71 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
Hmmm, you seem very emotionaly volatile to be ESFp, perhaps i'm wrong.
Yes, because ESFps are not emotionally volatile at all...
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Old 22/07/2010, 06:25 PM
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nahbee1235 nahbee1235 is offline
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*yawns* whatever. I'm certain I'm a Gamma SF. Not to brag, BUT whenever I encounter an ENTj (even married ones) let's just say they have nooo problem eye-sexing me, lol.

I <3 ENTj's. I was staying with my ENFp friend for a few weeks while I looked for a place of my own, & her ENTj husband & I got along reeeally well. It felt unnaturally natural. When she would leave, he and I would crack jokes at each other. I would start cleaning their apartment & he would tell me his plans for the day. Sometimes I would cook something, which he most always complimented me on. Once, he told his wife he thought my vehicle was the badassest out of the three of ours. :-p However, I have to keep him in check, if you know what I mean, 'cause his wife is the BESTEST friend I could ever ask for, & I'm not going to lose her just 'cause he wants a little than he should...

I could seriously see myself married to an ENTj. I don't know. I was hanging out with another ENTj (this time single) and I felt like I could finally stop searching for "the one" to complete. He's respectful, polite, economical, hilarious, sensitive to my moods. Every time I laugh, he gets this soft look in his eyes, and then plants a kiss on my lips.

BUT, he's leaving tomorrow. permanently. he's being stationed to another state, and in his own way, he broke off the blossoming relationship we had together. it hurt. a lot. but life goes on, right? *sighs* I really, really, really wanted to be with him. but I can't keep him from doing what he wants to do in his life. we joked that we'd meet each other halfway in Tennessee... but I don't know anymore. they way he talked to me on the phone, I think he just wants to cut off all ties to this town.. you know, have nothing that brings him back here... soooo yeah...

Also, on another note, I don't know if this applies to INTp's BUT ENTj's seem to be able to tolerate emotional outbursts. The ENTj who is married to the ENFp... sometimes she can blow up as well, tears, yelling, running off to somewhere when she's upset, etc.

and yet, he still goes back to her.
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Last edited by nahbee1235; 22/07/2010 at 06:25 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 22/07/2010, 06:38 PM
Cyclops Cyclops is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itinerant_stapler71 View Post
Yes, because ESFps are not emotionally volatile at all...
Not in an Fe sense.

Quote:
*yawns* whatever. I'm certain I'm a Gamma SF. Not to brag, BUT whenever I encounter an ENTj (even married ones) let's just say they have nooo problem eye- sexing me, lol.
Finding someone physically attractive has nothing to do with type, your just continuing to be idiotic. BTW as you're yawning, presumably bored, you should consider posting your future stuff on blogs, it might help to save you the inconvenience of having to read people who reply to you. Either way, your attitudes not cool, i'll wash my hands of you.
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Old 22/07/2010, 07:29 PM
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No, finding someone physically attractive does have nothing to do with type BUT the way the attraction between two people is expressed, I believe, does have something to do with type.

When an ENTj DOES notice me, it's like they can't take their eyes off of me. I walk into a room and straight up, all the ENTj's crane their necks just to take a look. If I want anything, they'll drop what they're doing to give it to me. *I like, I like* ha ha ha, doesn't even matter if they have another chick with 'em. but, I don't mess with men that are in relationships, sooo..

and to clarify WHY it was that I demanded an apology from the possible INTp's friend. I had asked his friend if he was SINGLE (remember that), he said yes, so I asked "can I have your number", again he said yes. We went out to eat a couple of times, and I didn't think anything of it. I saw us as two friends going out to enjoy a meal.. well, I happen to tell a few people I know about our encounters, hinting that this dude could be a potential boyfriend. well, one of them happens to know who I'm talking about, AND also knows that he is *actually* seeing someone. oh, ho ho.. this causes a lot of unnecessary drama in my life:

first, the person who knows the dude and the girl he's dating, tells the girl that we've gone on a couple of dates. I spent a whole hour, one afternoon, chewing her out for 1) telling someone we went on dates WHEN WE DIDN'T, 'cause we ARE NOT DATING and 2) for even telling her this in the first place. In my eyes, this dude needs to be the one that tells his chick what he's doing. obviously, he has a problem about being upfront about his daily activities...

second, *I* have to be the one who apologizes to everyone. WTF! If this dude had been upfront and been like "hey I'm seeing some girl, but we can still be friends and hang out and stuff", THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED. So, this dude demands an apology from me! ME! because now his chick is mad at him and he, in his words "did nothing wrong". I cannot *believe* this dude. So, I apologize to him and then I apologize to the girl who told the other girl what was going on. I felt so angry and hurt. He lied to me, he's being shady to his girl, and then I have to be the one who mends all the fences. That's some sh*t right there.

....I lost my job recently, and have like no money. but I liked this dude so much, that with what little money I had, I went out and bought him some nice blue-colored ballpoint pens. It's a little inside joke between us, and the blue pens were supposed to be a "peace offering" because I broke the clip of his "favorite" blue pen. I wrote a note to go along with the pens saying how he could be my new best friend because my best, best friend was moving out of town permanently, and how awesome it was to have MY best friend be the one that introduced us, etc.

Not one thank you. I feel hurt and betrayed, and the "INTp" did not give a sh*t.

And I'm sorry Cyclops for being snappy with you. It's just that I can be a bitch sometimes I when I think I'm right about something, and have a hard time with someone trying to prove I'm wrong about something. Most times I just want someone to say "you're right. you're always right. you are the most rightest right right person I've ever met..... you're right" 'cause I'm a beeeetch.

So, I'm sorry Cyclops. I know you're just trying to help. and I DO like you, so this is me apologizing and hoping that you won't hate me forever.
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Last edited by nahbee1235; 22/07/2010 at 07:29 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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  #13  
Old 19/03/2011, 01:48 AM
I of the Potato I of the Potato is offline
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What does esfp have to do with entj?

I don't get it.
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