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Old 22/09/2010, 05:02 PM
privilege's Avatar
privilege privilege is offline
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Default Difficulties with an ISTp

I have this SLI friend who's incredibly arrogant. She speaks to me like she's superior and because of this I don't really enjoy talking to her. I know she's smart, she's a chemist and used to be a researcher but I don't really care what she is. If she can't treat me like an equal I don't want to be bothered by her. However I don't want to loose this friendship, yet, I like her because she is intelligent, she read a lot and I can have meaningful conversations with her. She's older than me, apparently very lonely and she's upset because I haven't called her for the past several months.
What attitude should I have towards her? What does a SLI want?
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Old 22/09/2010, 05:15 PM
Cyclops Cyclops is offline
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Can't speak for em all but.....eh... with my friends there's been time gone past where we haven't spoke for a while. Sometimes this can be a long time. I've even seen myself go a year without talking to a friend, however we meet up and it's just like the times not there, like we just last met up only a few days ago.

I have to say I know i'm capable of lashing out if i'm hurt, so maybe she feels hurt that you haven't been there for her when she wanted you too. However, if I value the friendship, I can lash out but then things become OK again....doesn't happen very often though...the lashing out part.

It's likely she doesn't know how to express her emotions very well, trying to be emotive with Fe PoLR doesn't sound like a treat, so it's possible her words are worse than what she means.

Well... I mean if she's upset you haven't called her, then she still cares to be upset, yeah? Just explain to her why you didn't call (be genuine) and don't linger too much on it after then. After that just be her mate. If she keeps being awkward it's her problem and might be why she's lonely.... And you're not a psychologist I presume?

Otherwise get her online and i'll talk to her
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Old 22/09/2010, 05:48 PM
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privilege privilege is offline
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Of course I'm not a psychologist! But we've met when she was very depressed and going through some (very) hard times and, although I had serious issues too, I tried to support her, I played the psychologist's part and encouraged her, made her feel alright, you know...yadda yadda... We spent time together, then we split and she did continue to call me, I didn't called her (well, maybe once, I don't quite remember). The thing is, I felt strage, because she continued to speak to me like I was her psychologist and I felt.. burdened... And now I wanted to call her to see how she's doing, but she called me first and just lashed out on me.

LOL, to get her online? I'm going to think about it...
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Old 29/09/2010, 06:45 PM
sjy sjy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by privilege View Post
I have this SLI friend who's incredibly arrogant. She speaks to me like she's superior and because of this I don't really enjoy talking to her. I know she's smart, she's a chemist and used to be a researcher but I don't really care what she is. If she can't treat me like an equal I don't want to be bothered by her. However I don't want to loose this friendship, yet, I like her because she is intelligent, she read a lot and I can have meaningful conversations with her. She's older than me, apparently very lonely and she's upset because I haven't called her for the past several months.
What attitude should I have towards her? What does a SLI want?

Interestingly I read in a translated article someone once sent me about IEE-SLI duality where it said something along the lines of "the SLI has an unapproachable demeanor. The more lonely, the more unapproachable."

So that could be the reason behind her "arrogance" which she might not even recognize is coming across that way.
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Old 29/09/2010, 07:59 PM
Cyclops Cyclops is offline
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Originally Posted by sjy View Post
Interestingly I read in a translated article someone once sent me about IEE-SLI duality where it said something along the lines of "the SLI has an unapproachable demeanor. The more lonely, the more unapproachable."

So that could be the reason behind her "arrogance" which she might not even recognize is coming across that way.
This is actually true imo, they can also not be good at socialising but have a strong internal need for companionship.

I think if they try to overcome their difficulties with interaction and it's rebuked, they hide the pain of that failure of effort by being 'horrible'.
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