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Old 01/01/2009, 01:08 AM
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Kanerou Kanerou is offline
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I'm going to add family members and friend to this thread.


Mom:

She is a Math major/Music minor with a Master's in Education, and she's taking a break of undetermined length from pursuing a PhD in Math. She has taught College Algebra to students; she's also taught music to preschoolers. She's upbeat, IMO. She cracks jokes a lot, often un-PC ones. She sings self-made ditties in public. We've joked before that Robin Williams is some long-lost cousin of hers. I don't think she likes being upfront (in the visible sense). She's very self-sacrificial; I remember one particular instance where she ran herself to frustration trying to please everybody. The ensuing outburst was not pretty. She has been known to overreact to things. She is motivated to get things done. She likes to decorate, sometimes with the seasons. She seems to be fine being the bad guy, but she wishes Dad would do the same more often (she recently got really mad at him because rather than tell a dance studio while he was there that my brother wanted to quit certain classes, he asked her to do it, which meant her having to be the bad guy and also having to drive over there). My elder brother recently referred to her as having either a strong or dominant personality; I don't remember which. She was president of the chess club in high school, I believe. She also mentioned being competitive back then (not that she isn't now, but maybe not so much so?). As a kid, she was quite introverted (in the social sense). Fwiw, when I read her the Wikisocion's ESE Ni-PoLR, she said she used to be that way but wasn't anymore (it was something she fixed); take out of that what you will. If she's angry, she may not say anything, but it's still obvious that something is wrong. She liked to tease me because she knows she'll get a reaction, and some of her teasing is more physical (like running to hug me because she knows I don't like it). Our relationship is rather strained due to past issues, I might add. She doesn't seem to consider emotions apart from right and wrong, from my perspective.

She and my stepdad had a rocky marriage for many, many years, due in part to the stepfamily situation they both married into. She has mentioned before that she stayed with him because of the kids. One of the things she's mentioned is how stubborn he can be (then again, we all are in my family).

Dad:

He is a Chemistry major and works in a lab at a cancer center. He's very hardworking, known to run himself ragged. He works overtime a lot; but he says he does it because he loves us, not out of any need to be out of the house. Very stubborn; "bullheaded" is one way I've heard it put. I remember this system he and Mom set up when we were younger; we'd get a "check(mark)". Each one had a different punishment of increasing severity. We kids joke about it now. Very much into health, although he didn't used to be. He tries to get me to take vitamins and such, but I always forget. He seems to like performing and has been in the church plays recently, as one of the main cast (visible parts). He's a definite extrovert in the social sense; however, he has mentioned seeing approaching people as a task (something God sets him to do at certain times). He doesn't read stuff that he doesn't feel will be beneficial to him. He's very religious and can be overbearing with it, IMO. He sometimes asks me how I'm going to apply Socionics to...I guess what I'll be doing with my life. He also talks about how a system has to be grasp-able (my words) by people. And he wanted to know the practical application of Socionics after I kept mentioning it to him. He likes to talk (and talk, and talk). He's known for "lecturing" us, and he may repeat himself as many times as he feels it's necessary.

Grandma:

I spent more time with her when I was younger; my mother and I actually lived with her for a bit. Anyway, she is materially independent and could support herself; but she doesn't want to be alone. She worked for an insurance company back in the day; I don't remember exactly what it is that she did there. She seems to have no problem speaking up if she disagrees with something, and she's full capable of telling someone to kiss her butt. She's sarcastic, a trait that she said she developed to keep up with her first husband (whom my mother's personality resembles more than it does hers). She doesn't like being responsible for other people. She is diligent. She said she used to be more judgmental but isn't anymore due to her religion (in the Bible it talks about not judging lest we ourselves be judged). She is diligent. She doesn't like doing housework but does it because it needs to be done. She tends to downgrade her looks a lot (nevermind that she's had others look interested); she actually looks very good for her age. She is self-sacrificial, sometimes too much so. She is stubborn. She's socially introverted. She can be sweet, and others have commented on how sweet she is. Which I find funny, since I know the fiery side of her. She picks her battles, and she doesn't blow up easily, but when she does...yeah. Fortunately, I haven't seen it. I don't remember her being very fond of my stepdad, which I think is due to his overly religious nature.

Her first husband I haven't had a lot of exposure to, as he lives halfway across the country. Regardless, he is my mother's father; and she initiated contact with him when I was very young. They have been in communication since, and we've gone out to see them here and there. He's sarcastic and seems to constantly have something to pop off about. He was an Accounting major and is good with money. He's apparently personable and a social extrovert. My grandmother commented that he could tell someone off and make them like him while he was doing it. He is a retired pilot. He refers to his second wife as a troll (Troll in the Closet, or something like that?). His current wife of many years is an elementary schoolteacher. I think she's perfect for him.

Her previous husband (who died some years back) was clingy and very jealous; she didn't appreciate the former and mentioned that the latter was unnecessary. He also expected her to dress in "lace and ruffles," as I believe she put it; she didn't. She herself is not a jealous type, which is good, as he used to flirt harmlessly. I don't remember a whole lot about him, save that we didn't seem to have a whole lot in common. That said, he loved me dearly (though he couldn't stand my squealing). I remember he painted cars, but I believe his ability to rise through the ranks was hindered by his being colorblind. He enjoyed the spotlight/limelight, if I remember correctly. He was also sarcastic. I think he was very stubborn, too. For what it's worth, I don't remember him being especially fond of my stepdad (the religious thing, I think).

Her boyfriend seems to be LIE, from my reading the type to her. I don't know tons about him, and I've never met him. She cooks his meals and does his laundry. Anyway, she's decided on him and is known to make direct hints about him marrying her.
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Last edited by Kanerou; 01/01/2009 at 01:09 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 01/01/2009, 01:12 AM
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Last I heard, he wanted to teach philosophy; not sure whether he did or not. He was very sarcastic, and he was protective. He actually offered to rough up someone on my behalf, when he knew the guy had done something to offend me very deeply (which only he himself had done so far). He has been in other fights; I remember him mentioning having a knife scar, but I don't remember what else he's been into. He also had mentioned wanting to beat up a guy he had met and didn't like, but said his little sister had liked the guy and hadn't wanted him (her brother) to do so. I also found an e-mail recently in which he mentioned spraining his right wrist and using it to do everything since (he's left-handed), despite the doctor's orders. Anyway....we got along unusually well; one friend said we acted like we were married. I was his buffer, in a sense, and I remember him asking me to keep him from pounding on some people if they ticked him off (he was in a bad mood at the time). He was supportive, and I could unload on him via e-mail if necessary. He also put up with a fair amount of abuse from me (physically) for a while, as I would hit/kick him (no, that's not type-related in my case). He once mentioned having thought that I could use some looking after, too. The phrase doesn't thrill me. But I liked the fact that he was willing to fight for me.

We had very similar interests. I used to think we were the same, but over time, I realized that we were different but in a way that was comfortable. As we started hanging out together...we just fit, I guess. We'd spar with each other verbally/do a sort of roleplay that was all in our heads (like when I once told him he was on the couch, and he told me the couch was better than the shed). Another specific conversation involved him saying he'd just sleep with the dog since I kicked him to the doghouse, at which point I informed him we didn't have one. Stuff like that. Um...he mentioned that I had a calming effect on him (like a former friend that he had). I didn't have to abuse him physically; it was a side-effect of my having been abused as a child. Hitting him upside the head (with an open palm, mind you), was usually done as a greeting or something. Kicking/hitting was due to irritation. Anyway, I've since stopped doing such things unless I get fairly riled. Um...I guess in retrospect, I view myself as having been a buffer. And he was my support. Hurt like crap when we separated (due to things besides personality).

We fought twice in about 18 months. The first time I got mad at him, he tried apologizing. In my memory, it was along the lines of, "Oh, please forgive me" - the tone, anyway. In my eyes, he was making a doormat of himself. After enough verbal abuse from me, he finally drew the line and offered me an ultimatum. I straightened up. The second time, I declared in an e-mail that things were over. He said, "Fine, go." And I decided not to after all. So we have had our disagreements. But it made us closer, at least for my part. He once made the comment (concerning out friendship) that he was whipped and didn't even get the perks of being whipped. My take on things (which he disagreed with) was that he simply cared enough to do what I said/help me out rather than merely being whipped. A friend of mine who knew him said I was the more dangerous one because I held him back (or could sic him on someone); his response to that was acknowledging that he did hide his dark moods around me, because he could tell they affected me. He also carried my books for me; but that may just be manners. He had values concerning women that he stuck to, even when I was giving him grief. He didn't seem high energy, and probably wasn't, compared to me.

On a side note, I remember him once saying that he would manipulate certain friends ("plant thoughts") for what he considered to be their own good. And I strongly suspect that one of his closer friends (and one of mine, too) was a Researcher club type.
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Old 26/01/2009, 07:12 PM
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Kanerou Kanerou is offline
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The conversational spectrum grew more limited, probably. But we were still quite close. I don't have the e-mails anymore, or I could sort through them and give you some general idea of the topics. Actually, I contacted him three-and-a-half years ago (we separated back in '04), mentioning that I hoped I wasn't bugging him or anything (or something similar, maybe?) by doing so. His reply was, "You'll never bug me". We started talking again for a bit. We were still close, in my eyes, even after the time spent apart. That ended, but...again, not due to personality conflict or any disagreement whatsoever. I'd rather not talk about it, save to say it was I who left, and it had nothing to do with my feelings toward him.

Fwiw, I once made some reference to having kids and referred to him as "Uncle (insert name)" in context of that. He said "Master" sounded better.

--
I want to clarify that my best friend and I had a very good relationship. I only mentioned the conflicts to show how he reacted to them. In the 18 months we knew each other (and the 9 months we were physically around each other), those were the only fights I remember. And I initiated the actual [verbal] fighting part both times.
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