Go Back   Socionics Forums > Ramble Mumble

Ramble Mumble Anything goes, but please make an effort to stay positive and keep it socionics related.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 23/02/2006, 01:59 PM
buba buba is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 5
Default Dual "feeling" or just lust

Being INTP, I have warm relation with ENFP for several years now. Socionics description of our relationship (illusionary) is VERY correct. I am okay with it and consider it as happy and easy going relationship, not without misunderstanding, but hey, you can't have everything.
When living elsewhere few last months, I've met ESFP that I saw as a friend, but we also were strongly attracted to each other (without expressing it). After leaving, my heart was broken and I realized how much I missed him. I've read socionics again and realized that he is my "dual".
So the "big question" I am trying to answer is - is this some "six's sence" of meeting the dual, or just lust or feeling being in love as anybody else would have?

I wonder what other people experienced.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 23/02/2006, 09:14 PM
Nyx's Avatar
Nyx Nyx is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 226
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

From a purely theoretical perspective, yes, part of what you experienced may have been related to innate intertype attraction with your dual.
Whether or not that there is anything beyond that depends on interpersonal attraction (independant of type) physical attraction and favorable social conditions which allow for positive interaction.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 28/02/2006, 11:37 AM
buba buba is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 5
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

Speaking of favorable social conditions for duals, what are they? If I imagine our possible life together (hey, INTP, rich imagination :-), that life would be quite isolated from society (for the reasons I don't want to mention here), basically only two of us and possible children.
But I noticed already that - at least in emails - I can't communicate with ESFP on the same level of abstraction and logic that I use to with ENFP (so I quickly adapted :-). And my first reaction is "I gonna miss that. I'll need other people to talk with". But it seems to be against the concept of duality... wrong conclusion?
I do experience compeletely new feelings with ESFP. Feeling of giving... I want to protect him, he is such "open book"... people can easily manipulate him.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 28/02/2006, 05:22 PM
Nyx's Avatar
Nyx Nyx is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 226
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

Broadly speaking, favorible social conditions may include an environment which allows duals to express themselves without feeling discomfort due to outside factors, where duals would be able to encounter one another at least on a somewhat regular basis (otherwise it would be easy to miss them), and availibility and willingness to start a relationship.

What you described has more to do with personal ideals than outside factors. Whether or not your dual would want the same things depends very much on the individual himself.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 28/03/2006, 05:19 PM
Joy Joy is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 69
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

It's often said that we overlook our dual the at first and then later find oursevles attracted. I think the most telltale sign of duality is that the more time you spend around your dual, the more you feel like "yourself". When you're with your dual, the functions that are most rewarded are your first two. The best thing you can do to make your dual happy is to just be yourself, and vice versa. That's why relations of duality feel so healthy.

Illusionary relations are warm, but partners don't truly "get" eachother.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 28/03/2006, 06:05 PM
SG's Avatar
SG SG is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,521
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

The more time you spend with your dual the more you copy your dual. What you're suggesting is more related to the time spent with your identical, sorry.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 28/03/2006, 06:27 PM
Transigent Transigent is offline
Resident Transexual
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 171
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

Quote:
Originally posted by SG:
The more time you spend with your dual the more you copy your dual. What you're suggesting is more related to the time spent with your identical, sorry.
LOL I must be ENFj then, cuz the only folks I thought cool enough to copy were ISTj's,

Anywhoo, have you had an epiphany on Joy's type?

Joy, you will have to start calling me and pete ISFp now!

Oh nos! I am going to miss my brain.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 28/03/2006, 06:44 PM
Joy Joy is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 69
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

I would still think you're ENTp even if I was ENTp.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 28/03/2006, 09:23 PM
SG's Avatar
SG SG is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,521
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

Quote:
Originally posted by Cancel:
LOL I must be ENFj then, cuz the only folks I thought cool enough to copy were ISTj's,
Then I failed to specify that the copying is done on semi-conscious level...
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 29/03/2006, 06:38 AM
Transigent Transigent is offline
Resident Transexual
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 171
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

Quote:
Originally posted by SG:
Quote:
Originally posted by Cancel:
LOL I must be ENFj then, cuz the only folks I thought cool enough to copy were ISTj's,
Then I failed to specify that the copying is done on semi-conscious level...
I figured as much. Because, honestly, who would conciously copy an ISFp!? And is it even possible to copy ENTp when they are too busy copying everybody else?

Hell, maybe that's what the HA of does: subconciously accept, mimic, and reproduce social actions to not stand out. Mine has been out of control, I couldn't tell you who I am!

Holycrap, everything makes sense now! I think...
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 29/03/2006, 01:25 PM
SG's Avatar
SG SG is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,521
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

One of the problem with dominant is that these people are very indiscriminate, how can you not be if to discriminate you need to divide things and this would indivertibly break the wholeness -> , it is like trying to shoot yourself in the foot. On the other hand, people could be incredibly conservative, and as a result -> racists, nationalists you name it. Well, that's intuition to you, and intuition could happily accommodate contradictory views.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 29/03/2006, 09:21 PM
SG's Avatar
SG SG is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,521
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

Quote:
Originally posted by Cancel:

So...

= accomidating, understanding, accepting
= stubborn, blind, contrary
For why, Cancel, for why?
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 29/03/2006, 10:44 PM
Transigent Transigent is offline
Resident Transexual
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 171
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

I don't wanna piss you off, but I guess I just don't see the point in having an entire function devoted simply to resiting mental information? That seems pretty easy to do already?

Wouldn't that then make certain types pretty much retarded?

I mean, it is funny to joke about, but is it TRUE?

I can certainly see how SOME types may SEEM resistant to things, but...

So...

= always wrong, but doesn't care

= never wrong because it never makes a stand

These seem more like individual traits to me?

Wouldn't this also mean that INxp's would be more extroverted out of a general "inner death" and the ENxp's would be more withdrawn from the need to "accomidate everyone by self-negation"?

I think I am beginning to get it now! Holyshit!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 30/03/2006, 08:23 AM
Transigent Transigent is offline
Resident Transexual
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 171
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

Quote:
Originally posted by SG:
One of the problem with Ne is that these people are very indiscriminate, how can you not be if to discriminate you need to divide things and this would indivertibly break the wholeness, it is like trying to shoot yourself in the foot. On the other hand, Ne people could be incredibly conservative, and as a result -; racists, nationalists you name it. Well, that's intuition to you, and intuition could happily accommodate contradictory views.
Interesting, I appreciate the response.

So...

= accomidating, understanding, accepting

= stubborn, blind, contrary

I somewhat understand the functions from your point of view I think, but it seems from this that and types would be more compatable then and types?

In other words, I am wondering what N is in the contact, and how your versions of N are usefull to anyone else then the person who has the function?
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 31/03/2006, 06:39 PM
SG's Avatar
SG SG is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,521
Default Re: Dual "feeling" or just lust

Quote:
Originally posted by Cancel:
I think I am beginning to get it now! Holyshit!
Indeed...
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 27/06/2006, 08:31 PM
Fun29 Fun29 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 36
Default Re: Dual \"feeling\" or just lust

Quote:
But I noticed already that - at least in emails - I can't communicate with ESFP on the same level of abstraction and logic that I use to with ENFP (so I quickly adapted :-). And my first reaction is "I gonna miss that. I'll need other people to talk with". But it seems to be against the concept of duality... wrong conclusion?
Very good conclusion, but if you've read the description of Duality on several pages on the internet, then you can notice that Socionics calls this "one of the few downsides in Duality"

There are some more downsides, but overall, Duality is by far the best relationship.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 28/06/2006, 01:36 AM
theEvaluator theEvaluator is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 28
Default Re: Dual \"feeling\" or just lust

Is it just me ... or an INTP-ESFP phenomenon ... or does everyone generally experience a feeling of being immersed in the ocean/soothing waves on your soul when in the company of your dual for very long ... in the slow and still moments ... unlike being with any other? Perhaps that was just something I experienced with a particular ESFP. Hmm. Another ESFP I once knew even gave me an oceanic nickname. I'm wondering if he experienced around me what I didn't stop and notice. And now that I think of it, I *am* acquainted with another ESFP that has given me that feel (which is SO nice, you feel like swimming).

Do you find that duals mistrust each other on some things at first, because they may seem so different, until they find a balance? For example, some of an INTP's idealism and own sense of ethical values can seem very threatened by an ESFP. Even though ESFPs can be very funny and refreshing and such, among other things - they can be much more "danger-inviting" or crass or unethical than an INTP normally would tolerate.

(Incidentally, for those of you who are thinking: "wasn't this poster an 'ISFP' in previous posts?" Well, (ugh) I'm thinking I'm an INTP again. Usually tested as an INTP (or "INXP"), but my V.I. studies threw me off a bit. (guess I don't look in the mirror/watch myself on video enough to know how I "appear"!))

Does anyone else find that their Beneficiary SEEMS like their "ideal"? And why is it so hard to establish a sense of intimacy with your Benefactor, but a total sense of completion/satisfaction just being with your Beneficiary? Beneficiaries may overvault their Benefactors upon first impression, but in my experiences I've always idealized my Beneficiary (and criticized my Benefactor despite deep respect), even years upon years later. Being with a Benefactor feels like being stuck in a semi-confortable shadow for a long time, like no progress is being made. Can we start a new section on Relations of Benefit (or rather, ENTICING AGONY)? Thanks!
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 02/06/2008, 09:52 AM
kensi's Avatar
kensi kensi is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 695
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SG View Post
The more time you spend with your dual the more you copy your dual. What you're suggesting is more related to the time spent with your identical, sorry.
all things being equal, can there be lust in a dual relationship or is it, for the most part, a caring, magnetic sort of a deal?
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 01:23 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2007 SOCIONICS.COM