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  #1  
Old 27/05/2010, 06:20 AM
jughead jughead is offline
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Default ILI keeps trying to make IEI into himself

I have an older ILI brother and he doesn't realize that I ain't him and don't have the logical strength ,interest, method and attitude he has. His interests are pedantically boring and mentally difficult for me to digest constantly and this "You shouldn't have a different attitude towards life than you have for the kitchen—the same amount of stinking odor; if you want to cook a dish, you'll have to get your hands dirty, just make sure you'll be able to wash the dirt off once you are done; that's the entire moral of our day and age."—So speaks Vautrin, a hero of Balzac's books. Such misanthropy can kill the anybody's spirits, except his dual (The Politician)!" is basically totally true. Ironically we fight over doing dishes: i just want to get them done only when neceesary, he wants to stay on top of them moreso and wants to use a certain method.

"Misanthropy is a generalized dislike, distrust, disgust, contempt, or hatred of the human species, human nature, or society. A misanthrope is someone who holds those views and feelings."
It really gets to you over time I gotta say

And I'm sure not an SEE, he just pisses me off constantly with his basic attitude and persists in trying to make me do things I either cannot or don't want to do and doesn't give a **** that hes pissing me off and that I can't do what he asks and the way he asks it spoils my disposition. I just look at him like wtf I know exactly what your gonna say and it will piss me off, this relation ain't helpin. I suppose theoretically its his Fe polr in combo with his Te creative and my Te polr. Whatever that means....anyhow I usually don't have problems with roomates, and being siblings only exacerbates this.
Sure I can get along but thats just getting along screw that gonna have to move into a new place with some new friends.
Anyone else have any suggestions or expiriences of their own? I deal with known Fi polrs fine, seems normal to me. People who talk shit about socionics are probably ILIs and refuse to try out the theory or anything new that doesnt maximize efficieny immediatly whilst being lazy.
Which brings me to the question:who has succesfully dualized here?
Anyone? compare it to your other relations.
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Old 27/05/2010, 11:13 PM
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felafel felafel is offline
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"Misanthropy is a generalized dislike, distrust, disgust, contempt, or hatred of the human species, human nature, or society. A misanthrope is someone who holds those views and feelings."
It really gets to you over time I gotta say
Surprisingly, they don't actually hate people (j/k. Certain Ni insights can come across as pretty negative and are fairly reductionist. Say, INTp may analyze the nature of a certain relationship and be inclined to explain it to you as a mere symbiosis based on survival or circumstantial interests. Sometimes, they're right.

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And I'm sure not an SEE, he just pisses me off constantly with his basic attitude and persists in trying to make me do things I either cannot or don't want to do and doesn't give a **** that hes pissing me off and that I can't do what he asks and the way he asks it spoils my disposition. I just look at him like wtf I know exactly what your gonna say and it will piss me off, this relation ain't helpin. I suppose theoretically its his Fe polr in combo with his Te creative and my Te polr.
Imo this is Se-seeking in INTp. Been there, done that, you'll live. Just keep in mind that whether he understands it or not you are different than what he wishes you to be(come). A fair dose of guilt-tripping might be involved too, just make sure to notice when it's headed your way so that you know it ain't you who's lacking in whatever INTp asks (well, you are, lol, but through no fault of your own). cheers

PS: sorry, i didn't answer your *actual* question. sure someone else will

Last edited by felafel; 27/05/2010 at 11:22 PM.
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Old 29/05/2010, 04:27 AM
jughead jughead is offline
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Yeah we both lack the Se he just seems to pressure it from me more.
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Old 30/05/2010, 03:07 AM
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felafel felafel is offline
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Yeah we both lack the Se he just seems to pressure it from me more.
Well, there's that, and it may also help to keep in mind that it's quite difficult for ILI to live with Fe creative (taking your word for it). I'm Fi-base and, living with one of you people (), occasionally, find Fe creative a little suffocating, almost as if my space has disappeared in the void. At times, I have to make a conscious effort not to run away somewhere for a few days. Lol, maybe not quite like that, but, you know, socionics and all...
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Old 30/05/2010, 06:10 AM
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k0rps3y k0rps3y is offline
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Trying to control others is a result of narcissism. The only relation that has to personality type is coloring the manner and intent of the way that control is exerted.
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Old 31/05/2010, 10:49 PM
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felafel felafel is offline
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@korpsy: i didn't quite notice narcissism, only a somewhat colored description from the POV of the INFp one out of the exacerbated pair.
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Old 01/06/2010, 05:58 AM
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It's a general observation of mine that those who attempt to control others are unwilling or incapable of entertaining thoughts or ways of life other than their own. Whether it springs from the ego-inflation of narcissism or the externality-annihilation of solipsism, it's a selfish means of resolving ambiguous and adversarial psycho-social factors (i.e. the thoughts and behaviors of one's fellows) at the cost of others' personal identities and values.

To wit:
Quote:
he doesn't realize that I ain't him and don't have the logical strength ,interest, method and attitude he has.
Quote:
His interests are pedantically boring and mentally difficult for me to digest constantly
Quote:
he just pisses me off constantly with his basic attitude and persists in trying to make me do things I either cannot or don't want to do and doesn't give a **** that hes pissing me off and that I can't do what he asks and the way he asks it
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Old 01/06/2010, 05:30 PM
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felafel felafel is offline
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^ You may be right. I was thinking he was portrayed in a negative light due to the nature of the relationship. cheers
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