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  #41  
Old 13/01/2008, 05:04 AM
Lost Ghost Lost Ghost is offline
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Jesus Christ these INFP dilemmas make my head hurt.

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Originally Posted by Irkanda View Post
Can you elaborate?
For the love of God, how much punishment can you take?

Last edited by Lost Ghost; 13/01/2008 at 05:04 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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  #42  
Old 29/06/2008, 01:16 AM
Panacea Panacea is offline
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Originally Posted by SG View Post
For mood improvement try masturbation
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Originally Posted by jdickens86 View Post
I'm a 20 year old male INFP in neurotic-mode. I was wondering if anyone has any thoughts on the situation I'm currently in, as I'm not getting any understanding from the S and J types I find myself surrounded with.

About a year ago, I had a relationship with an ENFJ girl who was WAY out of my league. I suppose I offered some NF understanding in a pretty low-key way that seemed to do something for her, but ultimately the J/P conflict proved to be too much and she ran away from feeling into an overwhelming abundance of activity.

Somewhat neurotic herself at the time, she believed my understanding to be "too accepting" in that it permitted her to be comfortable with that about herself which the external world. As she defines herself in it's context, it did not bode well for me. I would go so far as to argue that she is authentically an INFJ whose reliance on her judging function for escaping feeling has essentially thrown her into a false air of extroversion. She is fake all the time and depends on it.

She stopped showing up one day, and I took it HARD.

My roommate/best friend also left at the exact same time. After two years of college, I was left with merely acquaintances after those too. Mind you, I see myself as embodying Jung's archetype for introversion. I will acknowledge that my extreme introversion makes my ego very vulnerable.

I believe what happened next was that my brain associated the accompanying pain with what I had control over: myself. What ensued was wrenching neurotic guilt. Feelings of self-loathing naturally lead me to respond through ego exaltation (enter "identity seeking" in MBTI/Socionics), to seemingly justify everything I've ever done as to remove any shred of guilt. This inversely reinforced my irrational subconscious which just made the neurotic feelings and subsequent behavior even more hardcore.

The masochism of my self destruction was effective: My unconscious made things like dropping out of school, not showing up to work, alienating my family, and getting evicted from my apartment "feel" right. I submitted to every indiscretion as nothing external seemed like it could possibly matter in the context of my internal misery. Or as Jung would say "In spite of positively conclusive efforts to ensure the superiority of the ego, the object comes to exert an overwhelming influence, which is all the more invincible because it seizes on the individual unaware and forcibly obtrudes itself on his concsiousness."

I speak of this as thought, but all that presented itself in feeling at the time. Even though I now grasp this with my ego as a result of my attempts of finding myself again, I am still unable to feel about things like I should. Everything is dysphoria. The pain of my subjective reality was actualized into objective reasons to make the pain more real. It would seem I "gave myself something to cry about." I don't know if I still hurt for the loss anymore, as I am too blasted with "real" concerns that have now become epic. Perhaps that was the point.

I think I can handle the resulting problems. If anyone has any ideas about how I can remotely feel like it, I would appreciate it.

P.S. I know Effexor, Wellbutrin, Valproic Acid, Vistaril, Zoloft and Tramadol are not the answer. I've been diagnosed as Bipolar 2, but I woudl argue the symptoms to just be the dark and twisty side of the INFP.
I find this interesting. I stumbled onto the Myers Briggs testing from a Bipolar forum. I was doing a bit of research and self diagnosis (as we nfp's will do). Before taking the Myers Briggs test I was thouroughly convinced I was Bipolar...it all made sense. My belief is still strong that based on current evaluation guidelines, my diagnosis would be correct. However, after reading and researching my newfound personality type...I see that all of the nagging qualities about myself that made me hope and pray there was a little pill out there that would just "fix" me, were part of my personality.

So is there no such thing as Bipolar? Do you not have it because your personality traits seem to mirror your diagnosis? Should you bag your medication and just rely on self analysis?

I am asking this for discussion purposes...these are all questions I am wrestling with as we speak. The fact that the medication options out there are riddled with side effects makes me embrace the possibility of a "personality facelift" by better understanding my strengths.

Presuming Bipolar 2 diagnosis is legit, it sounds like your breakup with her launched you into a period of mania.

I know you want to understand why she left. It is possible that she just wasn't that into you. That happens. Sometimes it is best not to over analyze it. Understanding it better will not make her come back. Letting go of it, will, however help you move on.
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