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  #1  
Old 14/11/2007, 02:13 AM
pauluch pauluch is offline
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Default INTj/ENFp

Dear guys
I am ENFp as you may assume. My boyfriend/ex boyfriend is INTj (my supervisor) and my best friend is ISFj (my supervisee). My relationship with both of them is completely different, though it should be similar. I never quarrel with my friend but I do a lot with my boyfriend. The question I have also concerns him... do you guys think there is any hope for us both to get on? Is it possible or not? I do really feel guilty now, after three years, cause he was the one who I thought really loved me and this relationship turned out to be destructive. Are all INTjs like that? Not willing to talk, rude, not willing to understand you? Or is it just him, or maybe me... I have to say it's rather me who is more pushy and bossy though he criticizes me a lot. He says he is feeling criticized all the time by me. Is it a vicious circle of some kind, should I run away, or is there any hope?
Hugs for everybody! I love socionics
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Old 15/11/2007, 09:17 PM
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Epic Epic is offline
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I common peculiarity of introverts(and introverted functions) is their tendency to appear as though they are devaluing whatever object they are focusing on. It is sort of like figuring something out.

This will never change.

In my opinion you should enjoy the relationship that you have. If this person seems to want a long-term connection with you then why not see if you can make it last. just be sure it is what the both of you really want before you commit YOURSELF.
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Old 16/11/2007, 11:38 PM
pauluch pauluch is offline
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Thank you very much for your answer.
I think INTj types are very difficult to deal with (at least the INTj I know). They are stubborn and sometimes appear as if they had no feelings at all. I am usually good at reading people intentions and emotions but with INTj it just does not work. I have almost started to think my INTj has a heart made of stone but then he managed to open himself a little bit and it turned out I was wrong. For me, ENFp, this logical thinking is sometimes really annoying though very impressive (sometimes), on the other hand. Can you give me any guidance how to talk to INTjs? I mean I really want my INTj to talk about his feeling sometimes. And I would really like to understand him. All INTjs or socionists Help me please! What do you feel like when in a relationship? How do you work? What's inside you?
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Old 18/11/2007, 11:52 AM
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Are you sure he is not ISTj?
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Old 18/11/2007, 12:50 PM
pauluch pauluch is offline
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I am 100% sure he is INTj.
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Old 18/11/2007, 01:43 PM
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Then exactly what Epic said.
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Old 19/11/2007, 07:31 AM
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"For me, ENFp, this logical thinking is sometimes really annoying though very impressive (sometimes), on the other hand."

If this is what is making you stick to that INTj than your relationship is bad: "Thinking is useful and very needed but it annoys me and it is difficult for me to use it, well let that INTj do it instead of me". So by depending on the very strong thinking of the INTj you are not gonna practice your thinking: "well he does it much better than I can, so why should I bother thinking myself?" Just be aware of what you are doing.
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