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Old 28/05/2010, 05:42 AM
lp_gem lp_gem is offline
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Default Contrary relations - ENTP/INTP

Hello,

I have recently met somebody who is my contrary counterpart (I am ENTp).. I was intrigued to read the contrary relations description after we had interacted to find it very accurate.

Now what I want to get a deeper understanding of is the mechanisms of why the interaction unfolds this way. It challenges my ENTp nature to always be in the "vulnerable" position in these relations................

e.g

Why as the ENTp, am I constantly second guessing and questioning the motives of the INTp? My interpretation is that I acknowledge the INTp's intelligence to be on par or superior to mine but because of the introverted nature, a lack of expression causes me to think she is scheming or witholding.

When the ENTp extraverts in a group situation, how is this processed by the INTp? (after a group hang which I thought was fine and normal, the INTp cut ties for a while)

What are some inevitable misunderstandings that are likely to occur due to our modes of expression?

Is the ENTp likely to miss the ideas/notions the INTp may be expressing (to the annoyance of the INTp, from lack of acknowledgement/misunderstanding/non response) and the INTp likely to overanalyse and draw premature conclusions from ENTp's general behaviour?

I can already see that since the group scenario, I must think before I act... but that's exactly how the contrary relations describes the E counterpart!
Is this overall an unhealthy friendship/relationship which bears little fruit or one which is worthwhile pursuing? because I do find the INTp intriguing and interesting...............

Thank you

LPgem


And I am reading
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Old 28/05/2010, 07:35 AM
ENTroP ENTroP is offline
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I've never actually noticed this sort of interaction with INTp, I suppose I've never had a close psychological distance with one.
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Old 30/05/2010, 04:12 AM
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k0rps3y k0rps3y is offline
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My interactions with a certain ENTp are very much in accord with the contrary relations described on this site. We have similar cognitive tools but direct them differently, and while we share overlapping fields of interest we clash on matters of aesthetics, priority, purpose, and ethics.

For instance, where he takes ready recourse to science to understand the sensible universe, I approach the order of the cosmos philosophically and seek to understand the unchanging and eternal. In this regard he deems me an ineffectual mystic while I find that he's grasping at temporal ephemera.

Socially he enjoys attention and seeks praise to validate his self importance while I'm content to have an external distraction to mull over without getting drawn too deeply into it. He often assumes a leadership position and is insulted when others refuse to accept his self-appointed authority. I go my own way and and am often irritated when pressed to join someone's group or consult those who refuse to listen. I view his behavior as empty glory hounding while he thinks I'm a stick in the mud.

Intra-personally he finds me too introspective and adherent to principles, while I think he's given to sliding morality and lacks access to or understanding of his inner workings. This produces mutual derision and suspicion.

All of this conspires to frequently put us at odds as we're constantly calling one another out for perceived errors of perception and judgement. The friction this causes reminds me of similar scenes with an ENTj and an ENFj friend with whom I often have extremely loud and argumentative agreements (yes, agreements) as we take different approaches to reach the same conclusion.
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Old 30/05/2010, 05:21 AM
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k0rps3y k0rps3y is offline
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Quote:
a lack of expression causes me to think she is scheming or witholding.
The ENTp I described above often levels accusations against me of this nature. In actuality I'm trying to avoid unnecessary conflict, collecting info to accurately grasp a situation, or waiting to find out if predictions I've made based on a mental model will come true.

Quote:
When the ENTp extraverts in a group situation, how is this processed by the INTp?
Probably with some combination of amusement and bemusement directed at both the ENTp and himself. In terms of enduring inanities and in difficulties interacting with our fellow humans, Sartre's line, "hell is other people," is an INTp mainstay.

Quote:
(after a group hang which I thought was fine and normal, the INTp cut ties for a while)
The dynamic nature of social settings provides me with a great deal of food for thought but analyzing it all in realtime can become taxing, particularly when there are more pressing matters on my mind. At some point I'll want to leave in order to digest what I've observed and avoid further interpersonal entanglements, not to mention resume whatever I was studying or practicing beforehand. And unless there were persons at the event with whom I enjoy conversation or something there to wholly absorb my attention then I was never present in spirit to begin with. From other INTps I know all this seems typical.

Quote:
Is this overall an unhealthy friendship/relationship which bears little fruit or one which is worthwhile pursuing?
The situation I explained in my previous post is something the ENTp and I tolerate but we don't have a great deal of respect for one another at this point. If both of you are as true to type as he and I are, then you'll probably try to push things along to suit your needs and your INTp will act as a Socratic gadfly calling out your errant ways. She'll be irritated at your willful imposition and you'll be irked that she's pointed out the flaws in your thinking, which is a good recipe for mutual resentment. Ha ha ha!!!!
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Old 30/05/2010, 04:21 PM
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I have laid awake in agony all night for having said "consult" rather than "counsel."
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Old 30/05/2010, 06:40 PM
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goldgoldgold goldgoldgold is offline
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I have a good friend who is an INTp but I've never quite felt the vulnerableness or maybe I have. I don't know. But we do get on pretty well and I can definitely see the benign side of things. Even if he doesn't want to be kind he almost can't help himself.. hidden agenda?

But I think youre right on the stick in the mud vs empty glory hounding. I'll do something obscure with the intent for laughter and further action and he'll sort of chuckle, sometimes more but also go.... ??? what? i dont see why...

He likes to do sudoku alot, and is particularly good at maths, but also likes composing & playing music.
We have some laughs though, but often disagree when it comes to views and collaboration can be a bit difficult. It's not incredibly satisfying but it is somewhat comfortable.
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