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Old 09/08/2009, 08:49 PM
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ArielPink ArielPink is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 8

Originally Posted by stanprollyright View Post
I am in a contrary relationship myself right now (ENFp, INFp) and it is working very well. In six months we've had one minor fight that lasted about a day. We spend a lot of time alone together, which is great. We don't truly share many friends, most of our mutual friends are closer to one or the other. When we're with others one of us usually fades into the background. She is the introvert, so she doesn't mind that much, but I make sure to never impede on her spotlight if she wants it. I starkly refuse to compete with her friends for her attention, and rarely will I compete for her time (she does have one friend who I can't stand who tries to goad me into this sort of competition). Instead, I offer to tag along or just do something else with my friends while I wait for her to get back. She is very social and loves her friends, but since she is an introvert she requires some time alone away them, which means I get plenty of time with alone with her. In social situations she can be very uptight about things she deems inappropriate, such as PDA or sexual innuendos. I usually push the boundaries of her social norms and try to get her to loosen up a bit.

Basically I think we would both agree that we are best when left alone together, and when we aren't I use my knowledge of the unstability of our relationship according to socionics to make sure these situations don't become a problem.

this was very helpful to me, as I am a ESFP dating a ISFP and feel that when we are alone, there isn't a single thing that I don't absolutely adore about our relationship. However, when we are hanging out all together with friends things do change, but I have been trying to use my knowledge of contrary/extinguishing relations to not let those natural reactions unfold too crazy or I am careful to not bring out my strong side, and yes I have been trying hard to not steal the spotlight from him in company
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