ISFj Uncovered "Beneath the Sweetness"
ISFjs are deeply sensitive individuals for whom the normal "give-and-take" of every-day life is a threatening, anxiety-producing affair and they usually hide from confrontations however minor. Instead, they will stew. Their feelings are easily hurt and they do not know how to verbalize their displeasure without "making a federal case" out of trivial issues.
They are not the most optimistic of persons. Fearing the spontaneous side of life makes them attempt to control everything and everybody in their lives.
They have a propensity to jump to conclusions. Being hesitant to discuss any subject that may lead to their psychological or emotional discomfort, they will stand by their frequently error-ridden judgements without ever trying to verify them. Their inability outside the home to willingly confront issues leads them to "take it home" where they expect their mates to uphold and support them. They are not, however, willing listeners to criticism or advice that is not supportive of their positions, particularly if told they invite much of the abuse.
So ISFjs exhibit a propensity to see one side of an issue - the side with which they agree. For this reason, they can be difficult to interact with on a personal level and their self-imposed martyrdom becomes tiresome. Every argument becomes a "poor me" statement or a "do you know how that makes me feel" statement without addressing the facts.
Their need to control in an attempt to subvert "bad things happening" can also create and transmit tension to all around them. If they are not able to resolve internal conflicts and anxieties, they, because of their inability to give voice to their inner turmoil, can bring out psychosomatic illnesses to draw attention away or to extricate them from the give-and-take dynamics of life. If not, they could explode with physical violence.
Although they are generally sweet personalities, their mood swings make it difficult for people to be comfortable with them on a continuing basis and make them difficult to understand since they do not give voice to inner and outer struggles. They are generally able to be demonstratively affectionate but only with family members within the shelter of their own homes where they tend to "own" the home, the spouse, the children, etc. ISFjs often go unappreciated because they give quietly and unobtrusively in their martyr-like way.
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