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Question #1419330055Tuesday, 23-Dec-2014
Category: ENTp INFj
How does an INFj supervise an ENTp? May you please try to give specific examples? I dont understand how INFj supervises ENTp with Fi? Im afraid Im INFj and hubby is ENTp. Some Supervision relations sound awful and I dont want to ever accidentally hurt him. Thank you... -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 I (ENTp) used to go out with an INFj girl for a while. She sometimes had this way of taking me in her arms as if I were a sad little child and say something like "you've been hurt before, haven't you?". While I would usually laugh something like that off or find it intellectually stimulating, in her case I suddenly really did feel like this helpless little kid. And while I didn't agree that i felt sad, it seemed like her opinion was so strong, that it actually *made* me sad. Her embrace did feel comforting, but it did have a humiliating aspect to it as well. She seemed to really view me like a child, and while it didn't affect day to day matters too much, whenever she felt like telling me I was depressed it just dragged me down. After a while i noticed, that she was simply projecting her own moods on me, but I had no way of fighting that other than avoiding her. To her credit I must say that she never abused her power over me and, small child or not, she did have strong feelings for me. If you want to avoid supervising your husband i recommend refraining from deep, penetrating looks to examine his well-being. Instead you should simply trust him to fare well by himself and to offer him comfort only when he asks for it. -- Anonymous
A2 Thank you so much, this helps me SOO much you have no idea. -O.P. -- O.P.
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A3 Glad to be of help. Another thing just crossed my mind: When he accidently hurts your feelings orvfails to keep one of his promises, please don't take it personal. And If you can't help it, then at least please, please refrain from saying anything that could be understood like "I'm so disappointed, I thought this was more important to you". He will view this as an attempt to emotionally manipulate him by guilt tripping and become distrustful (and therefore insecure). In such a case it's actually much better to make fun of his memory or even just to call him names. While this might seem more hurtful, he will take this more as a challenge and work harder on keeping his promises next time. Basically it's fine to call him stupid, because he knows he's not, but don't call him selfish or indifferent, because that will lead him down the road of self-doubt. It will also feel like all his previous efforts for you (I'm sure there have been many) have not been appreceated -> yet another reason to be suspicious of your motives. I've never forgotten my tender INFj. I hope you two will work out well! -- Anonymous
A4 Thank you Ill be careful. Yes I've noticed when ever he's hurt my feelings it hurts him really bad to see he's accidentally hurt me.. So I'm more careful not to take it personal. I really don't like the way Supervision relations are described. It's like a blind spot and I never want to hurt him. Actually I'm still not sure if I'm INFj or INFp. Still its helpful to be sensitive to any of my husbands soft spots, especially if I'm unaware of them. Thank you -- Anonymous
A5 INFj provides a moral compass and a stable framework; and reminds ENTp of some key life objectives. In this way INFj supervises (I prefer the word "centers") because deep down, ENTp knows his weakness: that s/he can get unfocused, expect unrealistic perfection and be absolutely ruthless - so he'll listen to a balanced INFj. -- Anonymous
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