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Question #1337936262Friday, 25-May-2012
Category: ENTp Advice Dating Appearance Intertype Relations
Do most other male ENTP's feel very misunderstood? At work the other day, a coworker surprised me by saying 'when I started working here, I thought you were gay!' And I probably wouldn't have thought much of it until another coworker chimed in 'me too!' Then I remembered how in the past I've actually heard that quite a bit, and to my utmost disappointment - girls especially. I've been trying to figure out what it is that sets off people's gay-dars, in hopes to maybe prevent this sort of confusion in the future. I assume it might be my strong desire to be individual, the abundance of energy, and my tendency to be much more interested in solving other people's relationships than to try to find one of my own. People say I pose a lot, as if I were modeling. I'm aware I do that but it's purely subconscious. Just wondering if other ENTP males experience the same kind of misunderstanding and if you have any sort of ideas as to what vibes ENTP's put off subconsciously when their minds are elsewhere but people are still watching. And this question is not meant to be about sexuality. I'm certain of where I stand on that topic and it's not the object of the discussion, merely the catalyst of the discussion. -- Anonymous
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A1 Actually, it's ENFps and INFjs that are most often mistaken for gays. I think it's their subtlety created by Fi and Ne. You don't strike me as an ENTp because 1) I didn't get a super-ego vibe with your post, 2) you seem to make an effort to clearly state the purpose of your question, and to try and write in such a way everyone understands - neither of these has ever been a concern of ENTps'. It suggests Te rather than Ti. ENTps don't pose, either - being Eps, they are usually bent slightly forward and move impulsively a lot. Is it perhaps possible that you are an INFj? (Described as INFp on this site, the j/p polarity of introverted types is switched here in the descriptions section.) INFjs' posture can get very "aristocratic", plus it would explain why you use Te rather than Ti and why you see yourself as an Ne dominant - it's the second function we most often see in ourselves, more than the dominant one, which we take for granted so much that we don't see it. -- Ezis (ESFp)
A2 you seem like an enfp (male Fs can be mistakenly typed as Ts easily and with females its vice versa)who get mistaken as gay alot -- Tricia (entp)
A3 I am an ENTP female and I've often been mistaken for gay. I am not much for flirting in a conventional sense. If engage you an argument constantly, it's my way of showing you attention. Although I consider myself sex positive, I don't like making innuendos at work unless my coworkers know I'm joking then it's harmless. Most people at my retail job don't peak my interest, so I don't giggle, give compliments, and smile like most girls do. I also have short hair so that also tips people in the homosexual direction for some reason. I dated an ENTP guy for awhile. I thought he was gay when I first met him and it's probably for the same reasons I mentioned above; he wasn't vocal about his attraction to me and wasn't interested in other girls so I thought we had a Platonic friendship for a few months. -- Anonymous
A4 Yes I have. ENTP here. One night I was hit on twice in a nightclub, an ordinary nightclub style kind of club. I told the last one that I was definetely in the girls-only-department, and that he may find greener pastures somewhere out on the crowded dance floor, no offence - good luck. On a personal level, I was slightly distressed by the whole thing, and looked for an explanation. ASAP, so I turned to the first girl I could see, a classy and goodlooking young thing, a choosy expert in the matters I believed... put my hand on her shoulder to get her attention, and flat out asked her: ''Tell me one thing... Do I look like a homosexual?'' ... Ha ha.... I couldnt really enjoy her reaction until afterwards... soaked up in solution orientation and awaited her reply .. jawdropping really exsist, as a physical phenomena. And when she collected herself somewhat: n-no.. Absolutely not! Thanks , saved my day. And went off. May try that out as a pick up tactic if you're interested... Add cool matter of factness, and you're in,. Apart from several other instances. Theories? No ideas. Happened even one more time that evening, and another girl was consulted, said they might hit on my masculine appearance. I dont know about you, but once my friends girlfriend told me that I look\appear like someone that you dont approach unless you got something clever to deliver- And that fits my mental frames of expectations with flying colors too, quite often. I do not have much tolerance for sloppy behaviour. She also said this might potentially scare away lots of girls, and when homosexuals notice this, they may deduce something out of the situation that isnt there from the beginning. Misunderstood yes. Mistaken for someone that I am not. Yes. Both in character, lifestyle and occupational references. Prejudged? Yes. Ad Infinitum. So, I guess, mistaken for a homosexual is just one minor product of the total equation constituting the (sub)consciously ability to bewilder and ''desinform'' the environment. -- Anonymous
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