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| Question #1317544044 | Sunday, 2-Oct-2011 |
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| I'm in a bit of of dilemma, guys I have this cousin whom i haven't been around in the past 3 years, with the exception of the previous 2 weeks. Now he's going to stay at my house for the next half year ( attending university...we lived in different countries until now)and there's no way out of it. I'm creeped out because i'm almost certain he'll make life a living hell for me. I can't really decide what type he is though, might you help me to type him? He's always wearing black like to a funeral, he has shoulder-length, blonde-dyed hair, he might be into wearing mascara on occasion. He's really emotional but plays "badass" tough. Usually he suceeds in fooling quite a lot of people with his "image"...for a while. He appears to have a million non-existant problems which are eloquently recounted to his select circle of friends, out of which he made a point i am excluded.He claims he adores the whole world, but views everybody in it as a trivial, decietful piece of _____. He's a bit of an aristocrat, loves culture, but leaves trash everywhere he goes. Last time he visited me he excepted me " the maid-servant" to clean up after " his highness". He's fiercely idependent in other aspects of his life, idividualistic, and an overachiever at school. He knows his literature like a pro, and took home 3 medals in the humanities. He's pretty good at sports as well. He pretends that he's immune to teenage hormones, thinking he's too good for anyobody to be worthy of his condescending attention, and seemingly prefers not to date ( he's straight, btw). " I'm bound to be disappointed, anyhow" - could be his motto. Oh, and he has a formidable death glare which he poses even during Facebook pictures. Any ideas on what he is and how to deal? ENFP. -- Marissa |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 how old is he? he sounds immature.. -- Tricia (entp) |
A2 Yes, Tricia he is  And fully 21. - Marissa. -- Anonymous |
| A3 I'm not trying to be cheeky but his highness sounds like he's got some sort of narcissistic personality disorder rather than an unfathomable personality type. -- ESTJ Female |
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| A4 all I could guess with confidence is that he is a N (enfj, infp and all the nts came to mind), hes obviously dealing with some issues and hopefully will eventually outgrow his inflated ego and some of those attributes/behaviours you mention. Without totally understanding everything about the situation focusing on your own life and not playing into his 'games'(i doubt he thinks they are games, but they are) would be the best thing to do imo. -- Tricia |
A5 Thanks guys, you're superb. He moved in yesterday. It's like sharing house with a monkey, but I'll cope,  the ESTJ lady is very right on in her insightful answer on a possible disorder ( awesome observation hahaha) I did some research on his genes ( from his side of the family) and found out his father abused a wide variety of drugs in his youth, what probably contributes to his prince's syndrome. In fact by research i imply him boasting about it during one of our conversations ( and then conferming it with my mom, who tried to keep this shameful fact " a skeleton in the closet" before) Him doing this was to get another " wow" reaction out of me, as in his view,this made him more of a "fantastic individual", a kind of " epic son of a creeper". Plus he was devillishly spoiled by his mother/my aunt. That + his show-off games. Thanks for the advice ( i made him take the test btw. He turned out ENFJ!! - thumbs up to Tricia. Now knowing the specialities muahaha of his type i'm totally going to win here) )) Oh, and yeah, i made it absolutely obvious to him that if he doesn't do his own laundry he can continue being " badass" with the fragrance of a hobo.  - Marissa. -- Anonymous |
| A6 I wasn't kidding when I mentioned that he could be a narcissist because you have written that he has a million non existant problems and narcissists tend to go from non existant crisis to non existant crisis. They are also used to portraying one image of confidence to the outside world while being an emotional wreck inside due to low self esteem. They try to surround themselves with yes men who will give them constant positive feedback due to having no defences against critism. His friends might be hand picked brown noses who are in awe of his acamedic prowess and rebellious clothing who he can easily lead without question (probably why you're not in the group). This could make it appear to anybody watching from a distance that he has normal relationships. If you get to know his friends I bet they aren't top of the class or socially adept. And above all narcissists have an attitude that they are superior to us mere mortals and also they are attention seekers who like to do things to appear that they are better and more educated than other people. -- ESTJ Female |
| A7 I'm not qualified to give a diagnosis so don't cart him off to the asylum just yet. -- ESTJ Female |
| A8 ESTJ, Yes, I can agree him being a narcissist and another excellent observation in regards his freinds. They came over for a while to " see his new place' on Friday, before heading out to somewhere out together ( without inviting me, of course. Nor would i go with them anyway). There where 2 of them, besides my cousin, and they all seemed his hanger-ons with very flat, uncertain personalities. Think Crabbe and Goyle to his Malfoy, to make a Harry Potter connection haha. In short, i'd be shocked if any of these guys have picked up more than 5 books in their life. One of them pulled out a cigarette to start smoking in my living room, and when i told him, " don't even think about it", he only put it away after i demanded twice, and when i slipped to the kitchen for a moment i heard the three of them laughing like perfect manaics. That was 90 % certainly about me as the censoring prude. " Let's go" my cousin said with that same toughened-up authority, and they followed him out of the door without question. Whenever one of them spoke out, especially proposing something " independent", my cousin appeared threatened in a way and tried to " harden up" in his look even more, as if saying, " Yeah okay, but we'll do it my way in the end, cause i'm cool and i know best." So he is undoubtedly the leader among them. What kinda gives me one more problem - that they liked My apartment and intend, apparently, to visit, watch TV, and rummage through my fridge at 2 am. I'll have to put boundaries not only on him but also his entourage, cause honestly the last thing that i want is to have to dicipline their kindergarten. - Marissa. -- Anonymous |
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