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Question #1314691860Tuesday, 30-Aug-2011
Category: Duality Marriage Intertype Relations
I've seen several sites which recommend relations of duality as the optimal for any kind of relationship, and even go so far as to say that they constitute the ONLY perfect/near perfect type of relationship. One site literally said that if a couple of non-dual ( semi-dual, super-ego, e.t.c.) individuals decide to marry their union is " predeterminedly doomed". That sounds painfully pre-conditioned to me, but i've never really met an ( identified) dual before, so i can't particularly judge on how " amazing" it should be. So, is this true, or overrated? Can someone be as happy and form great, problem-free relations with a different type of person? For example, there's a boy at high school whom i like and who's the same type as me - ESFJ, but now i'm wondering whether he'd like me as much as a dual boy could have, e.t.c. ( I'm really new to this, sorry if it sounds a little naive, Maybe i've taken it a little too seriously, but it's just too interesting, and so far really accurate ) -- Lydia. H. - ESFJ
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Duality is a *preferred* intertype relationship not the *only* relationship. Besides it is not like you can only have 1 shot at it or he is the only boy on the planet. Try, if fail try more until succeeded. -- Anonymous
A2 Dual relationships are not the only ones that work. It's true that Conflict and Super-Ego marriages are doomed to fail, but not all non-Dual relationships. I've seen an ESTj-ISTp, an INTp-ISFj, an ENFp-INTp and ISTp-ISTp couples' marriages work out very well. But the truth is, they aren't the smoothest and most respect-filled and enriching ones - those are the Dual ones. The reason why Dual relations are recommended is that they have biggest chances to be like that, and they also get better with time, so they're optimal for long-term relationships. If you're wondering whether the Dual relationships are really that amazing, then I can say, yes, they really are amazing. But not all of them - it depends also on hobbies and interests, hormone levels, the environment the people come from and lots of other aspects - and how amazing they get actually depends on how much work you put into them, especially how much patience. But that's probably the reason why they're enriching and teach you respect for your partner. Also they're the only ones where your work on the relationship almost always has the effect you wanted it to have - there's least danger of your partner understanding your well-meant deeds as ill-meant. -- Ezis (ESFp)
A3 "Conflict and Super-Ego marriages are doomed to fail". Why? It sounds a little bit too harsh. -- J.O.
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A4 I have a Dual relationship and is it amazing? Most of the time yes but it isn't all magical faries and unicorns. There are times where I like the guy and several times when I wanted to put a pillow over him so he can take time to breath and stop talking for ten seconds. But sadly, hes my best friend and we learned how to respect eachother a bit. But Evis is right, there are so many other factors involved. Good luck my oppostie. -- Kawarren-INTP
A5 I don't know but I recently realized how hot ISTp guys are, I use to think they were douches... -- Anonymous
A6 Duality is overrated. I was with my esfp dual and he turned out to be an abuser. I was basically his prisoner. It got so bad, i had to finally escape with the children. Just find someone who has a head on their shoulders. A personality type is only part of a person. -- Intp
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