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Question #1305266336Friday, 13-May-2011
Category: ENFj Duality Love
Hey guys, i'm a frighteningly typical ENFJ girl. Though certainly not one of the particularly optimistic ones ( picture Hamlet, hence the alias of the ENFJ.)I'm also a writer/ artist, and can be extremely sensitive, though i usually hide it at the expense of violent internal struggles with myself. As cliched as it sounds, few people get me, or my emotional constitution for that matter. I've been doing MBTI and socionics for a couple months to " interpret' people better,and from what i understand my perfect match is the ISTJ. I've read the description and promptly cried for half an hour. I thought i scraped my young idealistic heart on granite. I'm still crying whenever i remember it, as here i was hoping that one day i'd find somebody who'd get my creativity,the agonized intensity of my emotions ( appreciate my inner nightmare) e.t.c. but it turned out to be a kind of insensitive robot who doesn't seem to get feelings at all, nor cares to show them, nor values them whatsoever, unless they are a part of duty. And i'm not jumping to conclusions without some first hand experience. I've known quite a number of them in my life, including my impossibly nagging 24/7 ( though out of good intentions) Inspector grandmother. " Do this, get that, why aren't you doing this right?" - A few of my school trachers were ISTjs and they drove me insane.My aunts husband is a 1000 % ISTJ and as far as i remember he never told her that he loved her once. He did plenty of good, useful things for her, but as a writer i'm a sucker for occasional romantic words as well ( my grandmother is the same in fact, ask her " Do you love me" and you'll either hear a " Because you're my granddaughter" or " Go mind your business" in return) Yet, according to socionics/ MBTI that's exactly the kind of thought-police/iceberg i'm ideally paired up with. I'm terrified as hell, to put it short, is it really the way to go ( i've noticed i always liked other ENFJ guys, but would that work out, or get tedious over time?") As medieval as it sounds, i've once decided to either find my soul mate or to be with nobody at all. My friends say, " Stop trying to live in a disney cartoon" on the subject, but it has nothing to do with that, it's actually out of principle ( think more Roman-type of virtue).....anyhow any suggestions? -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Hi There, I think you might be taking this site a bit too much at face value. I've also been looking at the intertype relations chart trying to make more sense of other people and how I relate to them, but the more I've thought about things, people don't exactly fit any one archetype. Lately, I've started thinking that the kind of people we are is most closely tied to the sorts of activities we like to partake in throughout the day. If you for example did math problems all day, I'm sure you could notice changes in the kind of person you are. In any case, love to me seems like a much more chaotic and random adventure than can be encapsulated by some 16x16 chart. The only truth I think that you really need to concern yourself with, is the kind that you personally find to be true for yourself. If you feel passionate about some kind of guys, but not others, go with the ones you like! It's certainly an adventure, with a lot of ups and downs, but you have to be willing to get your feet wet. -- Anonymous
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A2 no such thing as a typical type. -- Anonymous
A3 That loyalty and stability in interpersonal relationships (precisely what you'd get from your LSI dual) may be exactly what you want. LSI isn't really an iceberg. LSI has feelings too, it has ethics, it can feel your pain. These characteristics will not be as well developed in LSI as they will in you, but the loyalty and predictability of the LSI will give you the peace of mind necessary to be the best you that you can be because you will not have to undergo the paralysis that EIEs experience when their interpersonal relationships are uncertain. Or, so Socionics predicts. I feel this to be true (Ni). Peace. (LOL, as if such a thing were truly possible for an EIE, like me). -- Kheledon
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