| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1301006456 | Thursday, 24-Mar-2011 |
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| What are solid ways that ENFPs can improve their thinking, objectivity, rationality, and in general be a little more thick-skinned? My feelings get hurt rather easily, and very quickly. Later, I can think about the situation clearly but only after the experience is over. It would be nice to be clear headed in the heat of the moment, rather than withdrawing into my head because my feelings got hurt. -- ENFP |
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Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 Most ENFp that I know are fairly objective when they're not being self-centered but normally they need to withdraw or seek seclusion in order to think. They don't seem to think well on their feet and shouldn't try. Being cool under fire is not in the cards for an ENFp. They can get very thick-skinned when they mature and gain confidence; however, some never do. They do have to resist being driven by their whims and stick to a plan or direction - having a routine, or someone or something to focus on helps. -- Anonymous |
| A2 ENFPs can benefit from using tools of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help them see their cognitive distortions and reframe issues more clearly. We tend to apply the same cognitive distortions over and over again, so just becoming aware of these patterns can help us spot them and make an early course correction before we go down the same rat hole yet again. Also, really working hard at. Active listening techniques can help. I've started taking notes in meetings and 1:1 interactions with people at work to help me engage in what they are saying rather than thinking about what I want to say next. Hope these ideas help! -- Anonymous |
| A3 One thought: First tell yourself that you want to be aware of your anger, any amount. Then see if you can start to observe this anger. Next, change your point of view and instead of thinking "this jerk is wrong" think "What can I learn from this?" That way you can ask questions instead of throwing accusations or defenses. My disclosure is that i found this to be a process, not an event. So it took days of just telling myself, often out loud, to recognize when I am getting upset. Then once I started to see it, I stepped outside as much as I could. Then I had that mantra to back me up, the telling yourself what you can learn from this. Good luck! -- Anonymous |
| A4 >>"this jerk is wrong" think "What can I learn from this?"<< I find this interesting, A3. I have for quite a while now been in the strong belief that Thinking\Feeling is a distinction governed by the degree of true self-recognition and self-acknowledgment. Not the ''from surrounding to within'' type, but the ''from within to the surroundings type of selfrecognition''. Created from within. That excludes any and every kind of externally applied measure for achieving confidence. I talk about the inner peace kind of thing. On such a platform, ''What can I learn from this?'' is a very easy choice to make in situations where a faulty selfesteem throws you easily into the defensive with: '' this jerk is wrong!'' So, as far as I'm concerned, The T\F distinction is not carved in stone, for anyone. Dynamic. -- ENTp |
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