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Question #1300080918Monday, 14-Mar-2011
Category: Parenting ESTj Advice Family Personality
I would like to know effective ways to channel my ESTJ son's anger and emotional outbursts. Do ESTJ's eventually learn to control their emotions without lashing out? It seems it happens when he gets his feelings hurt or if he doesn't get his way, which happens a lot! He can be very bossy and insensitive. -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 ESTJ children require order and boundaries. If you are an XNXP parent he may regard you as inconsistent. Maybe consider enrolling him in the cadets scouts or boys brigade. Try making lists and rules to put yourself back in control. -- Victoria Clarke
A2 I am an ESTJ female and I caused a lot of my own problems growing up. Growing up is hard enough as it is, but I had great parents who were strict. What worked with me was strict rules. No room for discussion. I was raised in a military family and it was dad's way or the highway. ESTJ's adapt very well when they need too. He'll grow up and appreciate the rules if you stick with them and practice what you preach. ESTJ's are big believers in "walking the walk and talking the talk." Don't be a "do as I say not as I do." ESTJ's have no patience and no respect for that kind of behavior. Good luck..get him into Karate or something physical to get his aggressions out. Let him learn how to meditate. That will help too. -- Anonymous
A3 There's also a possibility he's not an ESTj, outbursts of anger when your feelings are hurt sound like an Fi. So just in case he's an Fi, apart from the rules, try to create a loving environment for him, but not by saying "I love you" but by trying to remember what he likes and dislikes and suprise him by it when it doesn't collide with the rules. Remembering which yoghurt flavour he likes and buying it for him, or discussing his impressions from a film, and things like this might help. Simply spending friendly time with him. -- Ezis (ESFp)
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A4 He definitely sounds like an ESTJ. I was in a long-term relationship with one. I was very close to his family, and realized that growing up the best thing for him was to just go do something and take a breather. He was the only person that could seem to calm himself down, and as he got older he became better at it. They are strong rebellions of rules as children, they like to get reactions. But they do grow out of it and look back on their parents with respect because of the rules placed on them. -- INFx
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